Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Ah, the simple pleasures in life – like world domination and unlimited snacks! 🌍🍔 Who needs complicated wishes when all you really need is a little universe rearranging, right? 😆 #SimplePersonGoals"

everything, happiness, happy, i, life, need, person, simple, simple person, want, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Oh, I have Christmas spirit. The question is: Do I mix it with coke or do I drink it neat?

0

2 months ago

beverage, Christmas, Christmas spirit, coke, drink, fun, holiday, humor, i, mix, neat, oh, question, spirit
I don’t like violence, but I don’t mind if I get hit by luck.

0

2 months ago

chance, conflict, humor, irony, luck, mind, violence
A.I. should be forced to wait tables before it’s allowed to make art.

0

2 months ago

A.I., AI, art, before, creativity, forced, humor, job, service, should, tables, wait
You’re way hotter in your forties and fifties than in your twenties. The glow up is in the grow up.

0

2 months ago

age, aging, beauty, confidence, glow, glow-up, grow, hotter, humor, improvement, maturity, self, self-improvement
I know how to use an abacus as a tambourine.

0

2 months ago

abacus, funny skill, humor, i, know, music, skill, talent, tambourine, unusual, unusual talent
I love spending my parents’ money, they must pay for bringing me into this world.

0

4 months ago

child, debt, family, finance, humor, i, joke, love, me, money, parenting, parents, pay, spending, world

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on Pinterest this month:

Girls be like, “Baby, I have a great idea,” and it’s a trip you have to pay for.

30 shares on WeChat this month:

I need new friends. The old ones know too much.

63 shares on Reddit this month:

Who you are when you’re stuck behind a slow driver is the real you.

13 shares on Messenger this month:

My wife called to tell me she saw a fox on the way to work. I asked her how she knew it was on its way to work. She hung up on me.

32 shares on TikTok this month:

Going to a concert with a tomato in each hand just to make the band nervous.

62 shares on Reddit this month:

Kids: making things way more difficult when they don’t have to be, since the dawn of man.

82 shares on Instagram this month:

I briefly stepped away from social media to get an idea of what else is going on in the world. For instance, I didn’t realize I was still married.

46 shares on Discord this month:

Well, like I said to my television the other day, “How can these people be so stupid?!?”

55 shares on Reddit this month:

I’ve never really had a beach body, but my snowman body is coming along quite nicely.

37 shares on Reddit this month:

Sleep is a free trial of death but with ads.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

The best way to get through Monday is to pretend it’s Tuesday.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

I’ve got nothing against kids, I just don’t understand why you’d want indoor kids.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

All I’m saying is that at first I am shy and then I become a podcast.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

I really miss my family… sized bag of crisps.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

I caught your husband cheating on you at an Alanis concert, and thought you, you, you oughta know.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

Of all the things to lose why couldn’t it have been my appetite and not my mind.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Holding this fart in feels like I’m pregnant with a dinosaur.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Salad was likely invented after someone picked everything they didn’t like out of their meal and put it on a separate plate.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Lawyers should get walk-up songs in court like how wrestlers do.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Lois Lane said, “Clark?” like she didn’t just make out with that same jawline in spandex twelve hours ago.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

He had the nerve to call me pretty. I’m gorgeous.

Just shared via Pinterest:

On a first date, saying “agree to disagree” every time they share anything about themselves.

Trending via Pinterest:

I didn’t just turn into a grouchy old woman overnight. It took years of people letting me down, pissing me off, and dealing with idiots to get this good at it.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

My therapist is so lucky. I’m like a Netflix Original that pays her to watch.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Nostalgia is mostly dumb nonsense, but movie rental stores were legitimately better than streaming.

Going viral on Reddit:

I need to have a ginger ale about this.

Spotted on Twitch:

Not being filthy rich is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

Spotted on Slack:

Men can be sorted into two camps: the ones who get haircuts way before they need them, and the ones who wait until people in their lives are complaining.

Live now on WeChat:

Everyone has that one friend they’ve known for years and still have no idea what they actually do for a living, but it’s too late to ask.

Trending via Slack:

American Feng Shui is when the grill doesn’t wobble.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m a simple person. All I need in life to be happy is to have everything go my way and work out how I want it to.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Oh, I have Christmas spirit. The question is: Do I mix it with coke or do I drink it neat?

I don’t like violence, but I don’t mind if I get hit by luck.

A.I. should be forced to wait tables before it’s allowed to make art.

You’re way hotter in your forties and fifties than in your twenties. The glow up is in the grow up.

I know how to use an abacus as a tambourine.

I love spending my parents’ money, they must pay for bringing me into this world.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨