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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

My fairytale would be called the princess and the pea sized bladder.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

The man who invented autocorrect walks into a barn. He orders a bear.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

In these difficult times, it’s important to remember that cheese exists.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Sometimes I want to sleep, but my brain decides to do a little tap dance through every mistake I’ve ever made, instead.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

There’s an app for the people who say they’re not seeking some form of validation here. It’s called a diary.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Who needs dystopian fiction when you can watch the news?

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

I’m never early… unless we’re talking about the airport.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

The other day, I got the crazy idea to see if I could still do a cartwheel. I can’t.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Being in college when The Chainsmokers dropped Closer was an experience to say the least.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

And then I thought to myself, “What’s the point of cleaning if my family is going to keep living here?”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,292

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on YouTube:

I’m optimistic, in a pessimistic way.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I yelled at my cat and the other cats yelled at me. Like wow, okay, pay my mortgage then.

Just shared via Instagram:

It’s crazy how genuinely entertaining it is to stare into an open fire. That’s some real epigenetic memory shit.

Spotted on Slack:

Dear sleep, I’m sorry we broke up this morning. I want you back!

Going viral on Discord:

I have the patience of a nearly ripe avocado.

Trending via WhatsApp:

You think you’re raising your kids right, and then one of them decides to be a fan of your football team’s arch rival.

Live now on WeChat:

“Who does she think she is?” Well, it appears she is someone living her life unconcerned with who you think she is.

Spotted on WeChat:

Might mess around and reply “history will absolve me” to all work emails.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

The difference between the kids table and the adults table during holiday dinners is that there is much more screaming, crying, and arguing at the adults table.

Just landed via TikTok:

I would reset the clock on your microwave for you.

I’m just saying, no dog has ever ghosted me.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Yep, dogs are the ultimate loyal companions. They'll never leave you on 'paws' 🐾 or let you 'fetch' a disappointed text 📱. No ghosting here, just tails wagging! 🐶👻"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

80 shares on Slack this month:

My teenager has really expensive taste for someone who can’t afford to buy their own toothpaste.

11 shares on Telegram this month:

Autumn at last. Sitting on the sofa all day with a blanket and tea and watching movies. Just like in summer, but with a blanket and tea.

32 shares on Instagram this month:

I think my bank account has been taking Ozempic.

69 shares on Twitch this month:

Imagine hating me and im just at my desk spinning reeaaally fast in my office chair.

34 shares on Twitch this month:

Oh, that gap on my resume is from when I was the architect of my own hell.

56 shares on TikTok this month:

If you respond to my sarcasm with better sarcasm, then I might just catch feelings.

48 shares on Snapchat this month:

Welcome to your 40’s: it’s ten years of people saying “wait until you’re 50”.

62 shares on TikTok this month:

Nobody has ever been given a cheeseburger and been upset about it.

75 shares on YouTube this month:

Bruschetta is 80% delicious and 20% mess.

35 shares on Twitch this month:

Why do you assume it’s invalid to “make stuff up” during an argument? It shows initiative and creativity.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

So far, no one has seriously tried to bribe me, which is a shame because I am extremely corrupt. Maybe I need a position with more power.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

That feeling when it’s Friday, you blink once, and somehow it’s Monday again.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a low-quality camera will definitely force you to keep your life private.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

People ask you, “are you crazy”, and then get scared when you answer, “yes”.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

This too shall pass, but what the hell?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve left my past behind me, so if I owe you money, sorry, I’ve left it behind me.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Another fine day ruined by waking up.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Girl, he’s nonchalant because he doesn’t like you. He’s definitely chalanting somewhere else.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Everybody’s back hurts until it’s time to have sexy time.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m ready for the exciting last 30 seconds of the basketball game, which stretch into 25 minutes of fouls, time-outs, and commercials.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,376

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

“Who does she think she is?” Well, it appears she is someone living her life unconcerned with who you think she is.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Nobody is meaner to me than me. So take your shot.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

I should’ve gotten my affairs in order before I decided to bite into this hot pepper.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

I have found that there is usually a lot of day left at the end of my patience.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

I don’t know how to knit, so I made you a tinfoil hat.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

My ex had this fetish where he would dress up in his own clothes and act like an idiot.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

“Lmao” has survived and even thrived over the years, but its cousin “rofl” has faded into indignity. The cruelty of fate.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Where do they get the seeds to plant seedless watermelons?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

You didn’t let me know you got home safely so you better at least be injured or I’m gonna be pissed.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

If you’re looking for another bad decision, I’m here.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Threads:

I think it’s sad that getting married is one of the only ways to guarantee somebody will be forced to make a speech about how great you are.

Just landed via YouTube:

Not to upset anyone, but Monday is waiting outside.

Live now on Instagram:

All our dogs think we quit our jobs to spend more time with them. All our cats think we got fired for being lazy.

Trending via TikTok:

If I have to look at any more spreadsheets today, you’re gonna have to spread my ashes.

Making waves on YouTube:

If I was pregnant and people asked when I was due, I would say “What do you mean?”

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Yeah, baby, I am an animal in bed. More specifically a koala. I can sleep for 22 hours a day.

Spotted on Messenger:

Being single only sucks when you’re a little drunk and really want to flirt.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I now have Taylor Swift as my alarm. Now I always wake up five minutes earlier so I don’t have to listen to it.

Trending via WeChat:

If my house is clean, just know I yelled at everyone for two hours first.

Breaking via Instagram:

I’ve been blocked, unfollowed, and unfriended, but I’ve never been told I’m bad in bed.

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