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Commentary:
"Yep, dogs are the ultimate loyal companions. They'll never leave you on 'paws' 🐾 or let you 'fetch' a disappointed text 📱. No ghosting here, just tails wagging! 🐶👻"

dating, dog, ever, ghosted, humor, just, loyalty, me, pets, relationship, saying

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

They’re called grown-ups because they groan every time they get up.

0

2 months ago

adult, age, comedy, every, groan, grown up, humor, humor quote, time
My guardian angel is probably preoccupied with sports betting apps and generative AI, that’s why she’s letting all these bad things happen to me.

0

2 weeks ago

AI, angel, app, apps, bad, bad luck, betting, distraction, generative, generative AI, guardian, guardian angel, happen, humor, letting, luck, me, sports, sports betting, technology, things, why
I love men with a provider fetish.

0

1 month ago

fetish, humor, i, love, man, men, provider
Cats are the best authoritarians. You will do their bidding, and you will like it.

0

4 months ago

authoritarian, behavior, best, bidding, cat, cats, domination, humor, obedience, pet, pet behavior
Friendly reminder that someone having a different opinion about a movie than you is a direct attack on you as a person and you should take it very personally.

0

2 months ago

attack, different, direct, disagreement, feelings, friendly, having, humor, movie, opinion, person, personal, perspective, reminder, sarcasm, should, someone, take
Nobody has ever been more surprised than a husband hearing about his wife’s plans for the second time.

0

2 months ago

ever, hearing, humor, husband, marriage, nobody, plans, relationship, second, surprise, time, wife

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on YouTube this month:

Please remember, I am an inspiration for birth control.

19 shares on Instagram this month:

Imagine trying to ruin my day and I ignore you for the rest of my life.

33 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Relationship goal: synchronizing our eye rolls.

15 shares on Slack this month:

I’m already excited about who I’m going to think sucks first today.

45 shares on Pinterest this month:

Watching “Dirty Dancing” as a teenager: Damn right, no one puts Baby in a corner. Watching “Dirty Dancing” as an adult: This girl is a brat and needs a lesson.

47 shares on X this month:

If I ever go missing, check the snack aisle. I’m probably just deciding.

67 shares on Reddit this month:

When I bark at a dog, I always worry that I might have inadvertently said something wrong.

65 shares on Facebook this month:

When I say, “I have to be someplace,” what I mean is, “I want to go home.”

29 shares on X this month:

Saying “Hmmmm” when my boss walks in so he knows I’m thinking about stuff.

80 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Don’t go chasing waterfalls? The place where many video games hide easter eggs and other rare items?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

Foolproof? Yeah, well we’ll see about that.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

My wife called to tell me she saw a fox on the way to work. I asked her how she knew it was on its way to work. She hung up on me.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

On the surface: cool as a cucumber. On the inside: squirrel in traffic.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

My toxic trait is that I give my friends mental health advice when I belong in an asylum.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Do goalies ever get lonely during a game?

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Just imagine if farting were as contagious as yawning.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Maybe I died of Covid in 2020, and this is hell.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

If you meet me and I’m talking to myself, just keep walking. I’m self-employed and I’m in a meeting with senior management.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

I accidentally clicked on an ad, so I guess I will see that product all over my phone until I’m dead.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

My wife is pretty excited about going away this weekend so I’m not sure she knows I’m coming with her.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

On a scale of quack to quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack, what do you think of my duck-based numbering system?

Going bananas on YouTube:

Trying to spend less time on my phone so I can get back to something I’ve loved since childhood: watching TV.

Going bananas on Discord:

“I made this with AI.” Yeah, we can tell.

Shared recently on Slack:

I think when girls start liking pink again, it means they’re healing.

Live now on Facebook:

I’m of the very strong opinion that sex ed should be taught by a woman 37 weeks into her third pregnancy, while her husband sits scrolling through his phone, and her other two children run wild.

Spotted on YouTube:

Once you understand why pizza is made round, packed in square boxes, and eaten as a triangle, then you will understand women.

Trending via TikTok:

Elsa froze her entire kingdom instead of dealing with her feelings. I respect that level of avoidance.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Sorry, can’t. I’m too busy growing new neural pathways to make space for a stranger’s opinion. Evolution takes bandwidth, man.

Just landed via Discord:

Sometimes you send an email that requires a response, and the other person writes back right away, and it’s like NO NOT YET.

Trending via TikTok:

It’s with a heavy heart and a deep sadness that I have to announce that I’m at work.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m just saying, no dog has ever ghosted me.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

They’re called grown-ups because they groan every time they get up.

My guardian angel is probably preoccupied with sports betting apps and generative AI, that’s why she’s letting all these bad things happen to me.

I love men with a provider fetish.

Cats are the best authoritarians. You will do their bidding, and you will like it.

Friendly reminder that someone having a different opinion about a movie than you is a direct attack on you as a person and you should take it very personally.

Nobody has ever been more surprised than a husband hearing about his wife’s plans for the second time.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨