Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

The difference between us is that people can peck you and I’m impeccable.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Technically I’m still young, but according to my back pain I’m actually 69.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

I have two reactions when I leave the house: Ew, the people. Ew, the weather.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

If you’re not happy single you won’t be happy married. Happiness comes from eating food, not from relationships.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

What makes us human is selecting all images with traffic lights.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Men be like, “I’m sexually attracted to you as a friend.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

We all got a little Barbie in us (the microplastics).

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

You cannot trust me at a zoo because I’ll release the animals.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

Nice to finally get back that hour they stole earlier this year.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

They’re bluffing when they say you can still get knocked off the nice list this late in the game. Santa’s been delivering gifts in Japan for hours by now; that list is locked. Do whatever you want.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

292 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,561

Funny Quotes Topics

17,615

Funny Quotes Images

15,561

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,235

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

I am a full grown adult. Now listen to me discuss the various plot holes in Paw Patrol.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but I think people who say ‘I don’t know who needs to hear this’ know exactly who needed to hear it.

Breaking via Reddit:

Praying to God with a Chinese accent, and he is cracking up.

Trending via Facebook:

I’m gonna put “CEO of Blockbuster Video” on my resume because who are they gonna call to confirm?

Spotted on Threads:

Does the HDMI cord have the most dominant run of any cord ever?

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Maturing is realizing you’re not stable enough to do mushrooms.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Cigarette smell gotta be one of the worst smells in the history of smells.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Good morning to everyone except the people who are missing the ability to read the room.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Why do parents bust in your room like they trying to catch you cheating on them with another pair of parents or something?

Seen just now on Twitch:

Look, 80’s kids went from Inspector Gadget to Terminator so we have a lot of mixed feelings about technology.

I’m not fat. I’m just easy to see.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs invisibility when you've got such undeniable visibility? 🍔👀 #CantMissThis"

body, body image, easy, easy to see, fat, humor, image, just, perception, self-deprecation

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You can mess up big time letting someone know you have a printer.

2 months ago

awkward, awkward situation, big, big time, communication, know, mess, mess up, printer, relationship, situation, someone, technology, time
Spent 20 minutes training ChatGPT to write the perfect anniversary note for my wife, so don’t try to tell me I’m not romantic.

2 months ago

20, anniversary, ChatGPT, creative, digital, effort, gift, humor, me, minutes, note, perfect, relationship, romantic, sarcasm, spent, tech, tell, training, try, wife
The older I get, the more I understand why Grumpy Old Men exist.

2 months ago

age-related, aging, comedy, exist, grumpy, humor, i, men, old, old men, older, understand, understanding, why
I don’t give people directions. What if no one wants them there?

5 months ago

advice, directions, give, humor, i, navigation, people, sarcasm, wants
You should be allowed to call out of work if you have a really bad nightmare.

1 month ago

allowed, bad, call, call out, excuse, humor, nightmare, should, sleep, work
I suck at charging my phone, 21 percent charged, and I’m taking it off so I can lay the other way.

2 months ago

battery, charged, charging, daily, daily life, humor, i, lay, lazy, life, phone, procrastination, relatable, suck, taking, technology

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

35 shares on Telegram this month:

My boyfriend is mad at me because I keep replying with a fire extinguisher emoji to every girl that comments with a flame emoji on his pictures.

64 shares on Instagram this month:

That uncle or aunt who kept their distance from the rest of the family will start making more sense as you get older.

20 shares on Instagram this month:

The other day, I got the crazy idea to see if I could still do a cartwheel. I can’t.

99 shares on Telegram this month:

If you live in the same hemisphere as me, you’ve probably already heard me sneeze.

41 shares on Snapchat this month:

I deal with my personal problems the same way I study for tests, I don’t.

55 shares on Threads this month:

I hate it when I take a picture of myself and see 20 years of bad eating habits and no exercise.

58 shares on Instagram this month:

I don’t freak out until I see the Buddhists freaking out.

54 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Waiting patiently for something good to happen, like that goat in Jurassic Park.

32 shares on X this month:

You now have the chance to be the first person to send me nudes.

85 shares on Instagram this month:

Do you think the washing machine and the dryer are actual friends or just work friends?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

I waste a lot of time putting my phone down to just pick it back up again.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

I could have done without braces back then. What’s the point of having perfect teeth if I have no reason to smile?

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

Pirate: walks the plank. Someone’s dad: Is this teak?

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

At 20, I was unstoppable; at 30, I’m just unstartable.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Nothing ruins a Friday like realizing it’s only Wednesday.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

Growing up, I always knew I was gonna be the distant family member.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

I’d change my name to laundry if it meant you’d think about doing me every day.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Once you find a pair of pants that fit you perfectly, it’s over for all your other pants.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Study so hard until Dior is like Shein to you.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

I can’t take people who pronounce “gnocchi” correctly seriously.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I just learned the professional way to say “I told you so”: “This was identified early on as a likely outcome.”

Spotted on WeChat:

May he drop his phone on his face while he’s texting other girls.

Shared recently on X:

Thank you, God, for another day. Let’s get this 12-hour screen time.

Live now on Reddit:

Me at a nightclub: Where are the chairs?

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I never get as envious of parents as I do when their baby starts crying and they get to leave the event.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Ten million people accused me of exaggerating today.

Trending via Instagram:

Every weekend has two days: Saturday and It’s Monday Tomorrow.

Just landed via X:

“Some men go months without being hugged.” Okay, then they should just hug each other.

Spotted on Telegram:

Never go to bed angry. Stay up and finish the argument like an adult.

Just shared via Reddit:

I’m not worried about shattering the illusion, I want to smash it to pieces.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m not fat. I’m just easy to see.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

You can mess up big time letting someone know you have a printer.

Spent 20 minutes training ChatGPT to write the perfect anniversary note for my wife, so don’t try to tell me I’m not romantic.

The older I get, the more I understand why Grumpy Old Men exist.

I don’t give people directions. What if no one wants them there?

You should be allowed to call out of work if you have a really bad nightmare.

I suck at charging my phone, 21 percent charged, and I’m taking it off so I can lay the other way.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨