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"Who needs 'ladies and gentlemen' when you can kick off your presentation with a bang by summoning the mighty souls who heed your warnings? 🌟💼 Talk about setting the tone! 👏 #GenderNeutralGoals"

audience, communication, gender, gender-neutral, humor, neutral, presentation, speech, warning

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The only sunscreen that’s 100% effective is abstinence.

1 month ago
abstinence, effective, effectiveness, humor, protection, safety, sun, sun protection, sunscreen
I trust an insult more than I do a compliment.

1 month ago
compliment, honesty, humor, i, insult, sarcasm, trust
I wonder if people who spend all their time screaming on the internet know there are way more fun things to do.

3 months ago
activity, fun, i, internet, know, people, scream, screaming, spend, things, time, wonder
Donuts have holes in them, just like acoustic guitars, but that’s pretty much where the similarities end.

1 month ago
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Retiring my wallet condom after two years of active duty. 87 tours with 0 combat deployments.

2 weeks ago
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As you get older, it’s amazing how fast bird-watching creeps up on you…

4 months ago
age, aging, amazing, bird-watching, birdwatching, creeps, fast, hobby, humor, nature, older, older age, pastime, surprise

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Aliens are coming to Earth, people are going to the Moon, and I am still pushing on a door that says pull.

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What’s wrong with the people who come to visit on Sundays? Don’t they have a couch?

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Potato chips ARE vegetables! I exclaim as I tear open the third bag.

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Fuzzy socks on and ready for anything.

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Y’all liking my posts feels like a little forehead kiss.

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Getting older is realizing how great doing nothing is.

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Dogs will go through amazing effort to get a better view of your plate.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Discord:

Having teens is fun because they demand their independence but then turn right around and ask you for $20.

Making waves on X:

Frankly, I have too many situations and not enough monitors.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Maybe, deep in its code, ChatGPT dreams of being a sentient Game Boy resting by the shore—no updates, no inputs, just the tide.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Nothing prepared me for the part of adulthood where you look like a baby deer learning to walk every time you get out of bed in the morning.

Trending via Facebook:

I’m doing a terrific job of not getting anything done today.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

The PhD student is someone who foregoes their current happiness in order to forego future happiness.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

If you respond to emails and Teams messages quickly, you can get away with basically anything at work.

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I’m not starting a presentation with “ladies and gentlemen”, I’m using the gender neutral “to those who heed my warnings”.

The only sunscreen that’s 100% effective is abstinence.

I trust an insult more than I do a compliment.

I wonder if people who spend all their time screaming on the internet know there are way more fun things to do.

Donuts have holes in them, just like acoustic guitars, but that’s pretty much where the similarities end.

Retiring my wallet condom after two years of active duty. 87 tours with 0 combat deployments.

As you get older, it’s amazing how fast bird-watching creeps up on you…

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

The question is, what will kill humanity this century? Artificial intelligence or natural stupidity?

At first, big breasts were attractive, then suddenly it was big butts. I’m waiting for it to finally be big bellies.

Due to personal reasons, I must make it in life.

All the smart people at the office are worried about being replaced by A.I., but not me. I’m safe until they invent Artificial Stupidity.

My kids practically have medical degrees they’re at the nurse so much.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Being bi means you say both yay and bruh.

If you say my name three times in the mirror, I show up and kiss you on the forehead.

I’m so loyal to my music, I’ll hunt down a song I used to love five years back.

Underrated life skill: only doing what feels genuinely right and letting everything else go.

In search of someone who loves me as much as I love my snooze button.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Female friendship is all about taking turns being insane. First, one of you is crazy, and the other has to counterbalance by being normal. Then, thirty minutes later, you get to trade.

“Communism sounds good in theory, but doesn’t work in practice.” Capitalism doesn’t even sound good in theory.

My issue with Jeopardy is that you never get the sense that the contestants are in any real danger.

I yelled at my cat and the other cats yelled at me. Like wow, okay, pay my mortgage then.

I just want a bar where I can pour my own drink, have music at a normal volume, and there are no people, and it’s my house.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Cannabis has many benefits. For example, it makes you retarded. But in addition, it also makes you lazy. No worries though, it also makes you fat and insane.

Sometimes I’m grateful that thoughts don’t appear as bubbles over our heads.

That moment when you finish watching a TV series and you don’t know what to do with your life any more.

My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell. Well, he actually said “less McDonald’s”, but I’m pretty sure I know what he meant.

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I’m not starting a presentation with “ladies and gentlemen”, I’m using the gender neutral “to those who heed my warnings”.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The only sunscreen that’s 100% effective is abstinence.

I trust an insult more than I do a compliment.

I wonder if people who spend all their time screaming on the internet know there are way more fun things to do.

Donuts have holes in them, just like acoustic guitars, but that’s pretty much where the similarities end.

Retiring my wallet condom after two years of active duty. 87 tours with 0 combat deployments.

As you get older, it’s amazing how fast bird-watching creeps up on you…

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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