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Commentary:
"Who needs 'ladies and gentlemen' when you can kick off your presentation with a bang by summoning the mighty souls who heed your warnings? 🌟💼 Talk about setting the tone! 👏 #GenderNeutralGoals"

audience, communication, gender, gender-neutral, humor, neutral, presentation, speech, warning

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

It’s like 10,000 steps when all you need is a nap.

0

2 months ago

effort, exercise, humor, laziness, nap, need, relaxation, steps, tired
Spotify Wrapped isn’t enough, I want an Excel spreadsheet of my listening habits.

0

2 months ago

activity, data, enough, excel, fun, fun activity, habits, humor, i, insights, listening, music, personal, personal insights, Spotify, Spotify Wrapped, spreadsheet, technology, want, wrapped
Whoever said, “Laughter is the best medicine,” clearly never tried Revenge.

0

5 months ago

best, humor, joke, laughter, medicine, never, revenge, said, saying, tried
To all of you who have never tried blindfold archery: You don’t know what you’re missing!

0

2 months ago

activity, archery, blindfold, experience, fun, fun activity, humor, know, missing, missing out, never, tried
Not to brag, but I can trip over things that aren’t even there!

0

2 months ago

absent, absent things, brag, clumsiness, humor, i, joke, over, self-deprecation, things, trip
Washing machine minutes are not the same as regular minutes.

0

4 months ago

humor, laundry, machine, minute, minutes, regular, same, time, washing, washing machine

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

86 shares on X this month:

This too shall pass. And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never fucking ends.

50 shares on Telegram this month:

A big F*** YOU to people driving small cars and pulling deep into parking spaces so I think I have a spot until the last second.

82 shares on Reddit this month:

I wonder if it’s possible to swim from one end to the other in a pool filled with mashed potatoes.

60 shares on Pinterest this month:

I get jealous when I find someone playing a song I thought only I knew.

57 shares on YouTube this month:

Microsoft: Before you sign in, we need to send you a code. Also, Microsoft: OMG, was that you that requested a code? Also, Microsoft: OMG, someone just signed in to your account.

13 shares on WeChat this month:

People are like lottery tickets, most of them are losers.

64 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I should’ve existed as a tree.

68 shares on Pinterest this month:

Life hack: if you run out of treadmill space for your clothes, get a piano.

82 shares on Facebook this month:

Texting is so boring. Just show up to my door with roses.

41 shares on Reddit this month:

Men be like “I would do anything for you,” and then do nothing.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

My parents didn’t raise me to order something expensive when someone else is paying.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

Does no one disappear in the Bermuda Triangle anymore, or is there just too much other news?

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

My company promotes diversity. We’d never hire twins.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Befuddlingly, a palm tree won’t fit in your hand.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Mentally saying “Wed-Nes-Day” when writing the word Wednesday.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

Putting a blanket over my boss so he thinks it’s night time and goes to sleep.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Even before the internet, I always had a little side chat going on in my head.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

I don’t think astronauts should be allowed to come back. You made your choice.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be getting stronger every day.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Ok. I blinked 182 times. What happens now?

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I don’t rise and shine. I caffeinate and hope.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Thanks to AI, some of us went from being told by our parents not to trust the internet to having to tell our parents not to trust the internet.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Sorry, but I don’t think we should see each other anymore. Your Katana skills are lacking.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I highly recommend having hobbies, it distracts you from falling in love unnecessarily.

Trending via YouTube:

Each day on Twitter, there is one main character. The goal is to never be it.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Wait. We’re now turning plants into burgers? Haven’t cows been doing that like, forever.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Guys, please stop wearing NASA shirts, I bet you can’t even name one of their songs.

Spotted on Instagram:

Odd people reviewing a dessert: It’s not too sweet which is what I like.

Spotted on Threads:

My kids are asking for another dog that I can feed and walk.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

They should build a separate grocery store for people who have actually purchased food before, know how to push a cart, and possess at least an ounce of spatial awareness.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m not starting a presentation with “ladies and gentlemen”, I’m using the gender neutral “to those who heed my warnings”.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

It’s like 10,000 steps when all you need is a nap.

Spotify Wrapped isn’t enough, I want an Excel spreadsheet of my listening habits.

Whoever said, “Laughter is the best medicine,” clearly never tried Revenge.

To all of you who have never tried blindfold archery: You don’t know what you’re missing!

Not to brag, but I can trip over things that aren’t even there!

Washing machine minutes are not the same as regular minutes.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨