Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Trust me; this is the second millennium I’ve lived in.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they’re dead.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Memes are the most information-dense form of communication.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Once you turn 25 years and above, there is no need to set an alarm. Your problems will wake you up by force.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Dear God, make me a bird so I can fly. Fly far, far away and also so I can poop on people.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

French is bullshit. They keep changing the translation of ‘soup du jour’ each day.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Teens be like, “This is the worst day of my life,” and it’s just that they were told to unload the dishwasher.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Did you guys hear about the “internet”? Apparently, you can say literally anything there.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

The thumbs up emoji is a nice way to tell someone not only did you receive their message, you’re also done with the conversation.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

I don’t hate you, but I hope you run out of hot water before you’re finished your shower.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,674

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

I just think we should kiss. And kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss. But that’s just me.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Not today, Satan, but next week works.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I bought a little notebook to keep track of who’s above the law.

Just landed via Twitch:

Forget Spotify Wrapped. I’m more interested in seeing your Pornhub Wrapped.

Just landed via Slack:

I’m going to be a printer today and just not work.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I’m doing a challenge called ‘November’ — it’s where I just try to get through every day in the month of November.

Going viral on YouTube:

The amount I’m sighing these days could fuel a small wind farm.

Live now on Pinterest:

My goal weight is getting a magician to saw me in half.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

You should be able to google why a couple broke up.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Why would I take the high road when I could take the psychopath?

I’m sorry, but when you call me ‘batshit crazy’ it’s almost starting to sound like you think it’s a bad thing!

Witty text about embracing chaos with a playful, humorous vibe.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Hey, if being 'batshit crazy' means embracing my inner wild side and living life to the fullest, then sign me up! 🦇🤪 Who needs normal when you can have extraordinary, am I right?"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

15 shares on Reddit this month:

The difference between a songbird and a hummingbird is that one of them knows the lyrics.

98 shares on Twitch this month:

Striking gold in your 40s: finding a close parking spot that’s in the shade on a hot summer day.

84 shares on Snapchat this month:

I am cool with January lasting forever because rent is due February 1.

22 shares on Instagram this month:

Me in hell: “So did it hurt when you fell from heaven.” Lucifer: “Get out!”

67 shares on Slack this month:

I’m bringing back “hold your horses” and nobody can stop me.

94 shares on Slack this month:

Technology has gone too far, man. My roommate is logged out of his lightbulbs because he forgot his password.

29 shares on Twitch this month:

If you play guitar in a band, always make sure to look like it hurts to play.

72 shares on Twitch this month:

Sane is boring.

67 shares on YouTube this month:

That Coldplay CEO guy was held more accountable than the president.

80 shares on YouTube this month:

I may join the cicadas this summer and just scream for six weeks straight.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The romantic says that there is the right partner for everyone. The realist says: only one person has to choose the wrong one and then it won’t work out for everyone!

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Look at you with tape over your camera, while Amazon, Facebook, and Google have your whole life on file.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Being a woman is hard. You always want to buy something, slap someone, lose weight and eat something sweet.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

If you think someone has put a spell on you, send me $500 and I’ll get rid of it.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

They say 30 is the new 20, and 40 the new 30. All I know is 9 p.m. is the new midnight.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m just so lazy because I’m still recovering from the fact that I used to be the fastest sperm.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I get tired from just thinking of everything I have to do.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Ah, summer. When my non-consensual relationship with mosquitoes begins.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Do you think working at Pizza Hut would help you get a job at Sunglass Hut? You know, with all that hut experience?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The problem with expensive things is that you tend to want them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,694

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Your opinions are not my business.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Whoever’s praying on my downfall, I appreciate you thinking of me.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Passive income? Brothers, I need massive income.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

You ever look at yourself on the self-checkout camera and think, “wow, I better write my will.”

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Can we all agree that Mini Cooper drivers need to put an extended flag on the back of their cars so the stalls where they’re parked stop looking empty?

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

I never finish what I start. I have a black belt in partial arts.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

And now begins the yearly tradition of writing the incorrect year on everything, for the next 3 months.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

I’m not feeling very worky today.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

The place where you pour in the gas is the car’s gasshole.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Maybe I prefer my ducks scattered about.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here playing with my arm fat.

Just landed via Messenger:

I can’t keep up anymore. Happy birthday to everyone for the rest of your life.

Breaking via Reddit:

A spoonful of peanut butter from the jar will fix me.

Going viral on Messenger:

These weekends are starting to feel as long as a lunch break.

Making waves on Facebook:

No we can’t hangout, you’ll end up falling in love with me and I don’t have time for that.

Just landed via Reddit:

Before we all die from nuclear war or a global climate crisis, can we get a little alien invasion as a treat.

Spotted on Messenger:

Perhaps we should have further developed natural intelligence before venturing into artificial intelligence.

Making waves on YouTube:

Showing up late with an iced coffee is not about poor time management, it’s about knowing how to make an entrance.

Going bananas on X:

When I say I’m tired, the “of people” is silent.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

The only sunscreen that’s 100% effective is abstinence.

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