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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Let’s lay on the couch together, play on our phones, and ignore each other, babe.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Always keep a bottle of wine in the fridge for special occasions. Like Wednesday.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

I’m a kid at heart and a senior citizen at my knees and back.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Stop using ChatGPT. You got a question, you come to me first.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Another beautiful day without using sin, tan and cos.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

If you don’t like sports, you are missing a whole world of easy-going conversations with complete strangers.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

*Googles: How to fake your own death and erase existence before 9am Monday morning.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Dear phone, if you didn’t light up so many times to tell me you had a low battery, you wouldn’t have died so quickly!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,952

10 minutes ago

3,424

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

Patience: something you have when there are too many witnesses around.

Going viral on TikTok:

It’s a good thing when your therapist sits down with a bucket of popcorn, right?

Just shared via Slack:

I just want to find someone that gets annoyed by the same things as I do.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

“I hate small talk!” Oh okay. Do you think all your grandparents are going to heaven?

Just landed via WeChat:

Picking up women at the bar and then gently setting them down.

Making waves on Twitch:

Since there is only one of me, does that make me limited edition?

Reported on Discord:

Lord of the Rings is a story about a brave little Hobbit on a mission to destroy a ring and save the world, and his annoying friend Frodo.

Shared recently on WeChat:

It took me 5 minutes to do something I’ve been stressing about for 6 months. I will learn nothing from this.

Spotted on Messenger:

Posing for photos has to be the most basic thing I’m actually terrible at.

Spotted on X:

Red Bull doesn’t give me wings, it gives me gas.

I’m tired and drank a lot of coffee, so now I’m tired but faster.

6 months ago

I’m tired and drank a lot of coffee, so now I’m tired but faster.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic caffeine conundrum: tired but faster! 💤☕️ Who needs sleep when you have a trusty mug of coffee to zoom through the day at the speed of light? ⚡️😄 Just remember, it's okay to be both exhausted and on the verge of a caffeine-induced frenzy – that's just the daily grind! 😉"

caffeine, coffee, drank, exhaustion, faster, humor, irony, lot, tired

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,952

10 minutes ago

3,446

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Drinking through a straw is the opposite of snorkeling.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Most venomous snakes just make “Tsssss”. But I know some that say “Hi”.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Being an adult is when you ask the babysitter when you should be home.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

Having a loose stool means two completely different things depending on if you are a nurse or a bartender.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Male birth control is free, and it’s called wearing Crocs with socks.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Sometimes I worry that avoiding all human interaction isn’t a real hobby.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

If you’re feeling a little uneasy about the state of global geopolitics, remember to spend as much time on your phone as possible. The more information you ingest as you scroll, the calmer you will become.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Does anyone have the number of the witch from Snow White? I need a few apples.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

“Those tattoos will make it harder to get a job!” Okay, well so will my personality.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

First date idea: I lean in close and surprise you with a wet willy.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

You don’t know about stupidity until your female friends open up about their love life.

Making waves on X:

It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Stop hating yourself for everything. Be specific.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Pretending you don’t notice people staring at you is a skill.

Just shared via X:

The spelling of “bourgeoisie” was intended as yet another means of oppression.

Trending via Instagram:

Some 100 private jets will fly to Venice for Jeff Bezos’ wedding, and I recycle yoghurt cup lids.

Freshly posted on X:

I’m sorry that I bit you, I was trying to flirt.

Just shared via Discord:

Prophecy class has been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.

Reported on WeChat:

I was guest-starring on The Love Boat when you woke me up. You’re dead to me.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute, forget the fruit.

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