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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

If you see me looking zoned out, it’s because I’m having a therapy session with myself in my head.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

I’m so old, I still keep special moments in my heart and not in my Insta story.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

I always bring a glass of water to bed with me so I have something to knock over in the middle of the night.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Weight gain makes me sad. Luckily, eating cheers me right back up.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Sawing a hole in a table from underneath to steal a cake is a lot harder than cartoons would have you believe.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

I need to stop living by the words “life is short.” It’s hurting my bank account.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

I need you to put the fun in refund!

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Until I open the wrapper and look inside it’s Schrödinger’s Kit Kat.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

There’s nothing like the excitement of a brand-new book to add to the massive pile of books I still haven’t read.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

I’m rearranging the kitchen which is devastating for my husband because now suddenly he remembers where everything used to be.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,549

Funny Quotes Topics

16,781

Funny Quotes Images

14,549

Nov 27, 2025

3,864

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Losing a white tee to a stain is a different kind of grief.

Going viral on Reddit:

The great thing about playing the trombone is no one knows if you’re good at it or not.

Making waves on Pinterest:

If alcohol damages your short-term memory, imagine what alcohol can do.

Breaking via Facebook:

Telling your child their sibling is still asleep a very effective way to get them to practice their instrument.

Breaking via WeChat:

I think, therefore I am. I am, therefore I think. Therefore I am. I think.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Wish I could just go back to eating cookies and not knowing what day it was.

Trending via Pinterest:

You can’t change your past but you can change your pasta.

Making waves on Facebook:

Just eating the emotional support snickers bar in my purse. How about you?

Spotted on YouTube:

Snaccident: eating a whole bag of Doritos in one sitting.

Broadcasted on X:

If I say I love you, it’s just the apocalypse talking.

I’m tired and drank a lot of coffee, so now I’m tired but faster.

3 weeks ago

I’m tired and drank a lot of coffee, so now I’m tired but faster.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic caffeine conundrum: tired but faster! 💤☕️ Who needs sleep when you have a trusty mug of coffee to zoom through the day at the speed of light? ⚡️😄 Just remember, it's okay to be both exhausted and on the verge of a caffeine-induced frenzy – that's just the daily grind! 😉"

caffeine, coffee, drank, exhaustion, faster, humor, irony, lot, tired

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,549

Funny Quotes Topics

16,781

Funny Quotes Images

14,549

Nov 27, 2025

3,788

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Oh, gross. I didn’t know there was protein in this powder. I was only drinking it for the lead.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

If she wants the moon, you get her the moon.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

So far, every Miss Universe winner has been from Earth.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Good friends don’t let their friends do stupid things alone.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

I hope nobody sees me eating by myself and feels sorry for me. I’m having the time of my life.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

The reward for doing really good work is more work.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Mrs. Doubtfire is my favorite movie about violating a custody agreement.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

Just found out my asexual friend was only using me for my companionship.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

It’s time for basic human empathy to make a comeback.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Helpful police officer reminded me he’s the one asking the questions.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Reddit:

If you’re feeling lonely, start a small business. Then you’ll have a little company.

Just landed via Reddit:

An escape room, but it’s just your thoughts. Good luck.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Please make sure you are only drinking as much water as you REALLY need. We need that for the data centers. If you’re thirsty, AI is thirsty too.

Spotted on Messenger:

If one door opens when another door closes, your house is probably haunted.

Going viral on WeChat:

Women don’t apologize. They sleep naked and let you decide whether you are still angry or not.

Trending via Twitch:

Canadians are nice because they’re close to Santa.

Trending via Slack:

I take offense when people don’t invite me to events l’d like to turn down.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

The Pope is the only employee who never gets to see his boss. Not even at the Christmas party.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I was telling my sister that I’ve been going to the gym recently, and my nephew said, “You should go inside when you get there,” and I don’t think I’ll ever recover from that.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I hope this email keeps you awake at night.

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