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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Another Netflix price increase? Guess we’re only chilling now.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

I need a browser plugin that disables Amazon when I’m drinking. Hashtag: don’t drink and Prime.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at social gatherings.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

I like liking Instagram stories because I like pressing buttons.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

I don’t get treadmills, I mean if I walk I better reach somewhere.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

Sorry for acting weird. It’s just that I mirror people, and you were being weird first.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

My sleeping pattern isn’t even a pattern anymore. It’s a lifestyle.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Who’s up thinking about the crushing weight of existence?

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

Oligarchy sounds like something you dip your breadstick in at the olive garden.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Terrible things can happen if you go camping. For starters, you could want to go camping again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2068 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,230

Funny Quotes Topics

14,974

Funny Quotes Images

12,230

Updated

13 seconds ago

Users Online

3,437

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Discord:

I used to schedule naps, but now they’re little surprise parties my body throws at all hours of the day.

Making waves on WeChat:

All I’m saying is that at first I am shy and then I become a podcast.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Texting is so boring. Just show up to my door with roses.

Just landed via TikTok:

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?

Making waves on Reddit:

Does the HDMI cord have the most dominant run of any cord ever?

Trending via Threads:

Would pay $10 a month for Summer Premium Package without wasps.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Be bold, be italic, but never regular.

Just shared via X:

Just let your girlfriend be crazy, like who cares, bro.

Breaking via TikTok:

If cartoons have taught us anything, it’s the uselessness of little umbrellas when plummeting from a cliff.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

You don’t scare me, I was married once.

Imagine how organized the first person to write down a recipe must have been.

Imagine how organized the first person to write down a recipe must have been.
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Commentary:
"Clearly the first person to write down a recipe was on a whole other level of organization – they probably color-coded their spice rack and alphabetized their pantry. Meanwhile, the rest of us are over here still trying to figure out where we put the flour."

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Response

  1. StellarDreamcatcher49 Avatar
    StellarDreamcatcher49

    Or imagine the utter chaos of the poor soul trying to replicate it without instructions – “Was it a pinch or a pound of salt?” 😂 Whoever first thought of writing recipes truly deserves our ‘grate’ gratitude 🧀.

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2068 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,230

Funny Quotes Topics

14,974

Funny Quotes Images

12,230

Updated

13 seconds ago

Users Online

3,444

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

Going to a DaBaby concert because I need some alone time, and I know no one else will be there.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

“You let your cat on the bed?” I would put her on my life insurance.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

I’m scared to go to an art museum, because what if they decide to keep me?

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow just as well.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Not to upset anyone, but Monday is waiting outside.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

There’s not gonna be a civil war. None of us can afford to take that much time off work.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

If I had a dollar for every time I didn’t know what was going on, I’d be like, why am I always getting all this money?

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

I have a bit of an inferiority complex. But it’s not a very good one.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

Deodorant? No, I never need to buy any. People just give it to me. Complete strangers sometimes.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Doesn’t matter if the chicken or the egg came first. Still a weird thing to just appear.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

The one thing I’ve never had in my car’s glove box is a pair of gloves.

Just landed via Reddit:

Words I heard most when I ran errands with my dad: “Wait in the truck.”

Live now on Slack:

So it turns out that being an adult is mostly just Googling how to do stuff.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Your pronouns should be get/help.

Trending via TikTok:

My fridge has brought more light into my life than most people.

Just landed via WeChat:

When a woman texts you three questions, you should only answer one. She will love that.

Shared recently on Threads:

A really good magician could be living in your house and you would never know.

Shared recently on Discord:

Are you coming to the party? There will be noise and lights but I found a corner for us to hide.

Reported on Threads:

My kids think I’m going to miss them when they leave for college, but I’ll be busy drinking my coffee while it’s still hot.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I hate when I’m typing away, expecting autocorrect to have my back, and I look down and just see awjdbdmkskan.

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