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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

First date idea: you rescue me out of the tree I got stuck in while looking through your windows.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

So deep in her Instagram story, I accidentally liked an ad for a Toyota.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Setting up a camera to go and pretend you just woke up from bed is another level of mental illness.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

A McRib killed my tapeworm.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Your posts make me wish I could forget how to read.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Instead of writing letters, let’s wait a week before texting each other back so it still feels like it.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Someday I’ll learn how to emotion like a proper human.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

There is no actual wolf in Wolf of Wall Street.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s being annoyed by stupidity.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

People who say that they don’t have time for my bullshit should wake up an hour earlier.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,509

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Don’t buy roses for her, buy chicken nuggets. Show her you really care.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

You can chill with someone a whole day at the university, and never see them again in your life, lol.

Going viral on Messenger:

Probably the worst thing you can do when your wife gives you a disapproving look from across the room for being on your phone is finish typing this.

Just landed via Twitch:

Half of all the problems in life can be solved by duct tape. For the rest, you’re gonna have to reboot that computer.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I’m a simple girl, really. I just want to watch the sunset, laugh, drink coffee, and read books. I also want a time machine and a pet dragon.

Live now on Pinterest:

Your call is very important to us, here’s six days of irritating music.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun not to be able to open that drawer.

Going viral on Pinterest:

A delivery driver just asked for my date of birth. I said, “94.” He replied, “Is that 1994?” Oh, sorry mate, no. My bad, that was 1794. Right around the French Revolution.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Tech enthusiasts: My entire house is smart. Tech workers: The only piece of technology in my house is a printer, and I keep a gun next to it so I can shoot it if it makes a noise I don’t recognize.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Sorry, I had feelings. I’ll replace them with jokes right away.

Instead of hairstyles and make-up, there should be YouTube tutorials on polite behavior.

2 months ago

0

Instead of hairstyles and make-up, there should be YouTube tutorials on polite behavior.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, absolutely! I can already imagine the title: "Tutorial Tuesday: How to Slay with Sophistication". 💁‍♀️💄 Let's see those influencers swapping contouring tips for conversational finesse! Who needs a fierce winged eyeliner when you can rock a killer 'please' and 'thank you' combo? 💁‍♂️✨ #MannersMakeover

behavior, etiquette, hairstyle, humor, make-up, makeup, polite, polite behavior, should, skills, social, social skills, tutorial, tutorials, YouTube

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

As long as I’m alive, I can begin again and again and again, again and again and again, again and again and again.

0

5 months ago

again, alive, begin, humor, i, life, perseverance, repetition
Hello bedtime my old friend, my brain is laughing once again.

0

2 months ago

again, bedtime, brain, friend, hello, humor, laughing, night, old, once, sleep, thoughts
Once your parents move from “What time are you coming back” to “Are you coming back today,” you have won the war.

0

2 weeks ago

back, coming, coming back, family, humor, move, once, parent, parents, relationship, time, today, war
Therapy only works if you have a lower IQ than the therapist.

0

2 months ago

humor, intelligence, IQ, only, psychology, therapist, therapy, works
I’m terrified of escalators, so I’m taking steps to avoid them.

0

2 months ago

avoid, avoidance, escalator, fear, humor, joke, phobia, steps, taking, terrified
Bands are always like “here’s another song”. Yeah, no shit, that’s pretty much all you do.

0

2 months ago

always, another, band, entertainment, humor, much, music, performance, pretty, sarcasm, shit, song

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on X this month:

No, I mean, it’s great toast. I just didn’t expect it to be French.

45 shares on Threads this month:

My sister: snowboards. My brother: skateboards. Me: charcuterie boards.

49 shares on Telegram this month:

You never realize how many curse words are in a song till you play it for your family.

99 shares on TikTok this month:

I hope the coffee hits harder than reality does.

89 shares on YouTube this month:

Single in the womb, single till the tomb!

55 shares on Slack this month:

The best thing about work is the coffee machine and the drive home.

70 shares on Pinterest this month:

A simple “hi” can be the beginning of two years of therapy.

100 shares on Reddit this month:

How can I be expected to get out of bed when I don’t want to?

22 shares on X this month:

Long sandwiches should have suitcase handles.

71 shares on Discord this month:

I kind of can’t wait for my generation to be bumping 90’s hip hop, rap, and heavy metal at the old folks’ homes.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Every group chat has that one person who never replies, and it’s me.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

People who listen to their sad playlist when they’re happy are a different breed of unstable.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Remember: no matter what anyone else thinks of you, it’s how you delude yourself that matters.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m actually quite nice. If I had friends, they’d all confirm that.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

If you sweat while you eat, it should count as a workout.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope you celebrate your birthday like your birth – naked and screaming.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

When you report something to IT and then hear: “Oh! Interesting. We’ve never seen that before.” Is that good or bad?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t care if it’s cliché, I will always enjoy a ‘small town but something messed up is happening’ story.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Hangman is so great. No better way for a child to learn how to spell than by having to save a man from hanging to death.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,556

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

Please don’t celebrate April Fool’s day if you’re not a fool. My culture is not your costume.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Today is the Mondayest Thursday that has ever been mistaken for a Friday in the history of Wednesdays.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

Guys have good pics on their dating profiles because their ex took them.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Hey girl, do you like my signals? I mixed them myself.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

I’m like a candle: I’m cute, I smell nice, and there’s a pretty good chance I’ll set your curtains on fire if left unattended.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

I’m at a place in my life when errands are starting to count as going out.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Google AI is awesome because it kills the planet and doesn’t work.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Had an interview today, and my belly rumbled. The lady goes, “Missed lunch?” I told her, “Nah, I’m hungry for success!”

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Don’t forget to be mean to strangers on the internet today, for no reason whatsoever.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

The cinema vibe is my favorite, you literally forget about the world for like 2-3 hours.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

I am “I can’t remember the last time I went out on New Year’s Eve” old.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

The worst person you know is studying psychology.

Seen just now on X:

The man who invented autocorrect walks into a barn. He orders a bear.

Spotted on Pinterest:

The French only eat snails because they don’t like fast food.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

It’s hard to sleep knowing that Coke is in the fridge.

Shared recently on X:

Pinterest algorithm is like a loving dad who fills the whole fridge with oranges after seeing you enjoy one.

Spotted on Discord:

I end all my sentences with “Just saying..” because ending them with “You bonehead..” would probably be considered offensive.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Maybe coffee is addicted to me?

Shared recently on Snapchat:

My main career goal at the moment is to find a big bag of money in the woods.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I love Fleetwood Mac, but “thunder only happens when it’s raining” is just not true.

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