Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

There should be a true crime story about feeding someone a peanut butter sandwich and giving them nothing to drink.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

I often choose gift bags instead of wrapping, not just out of laziness, but also because I have the fine motor skills of a drunken panda.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

I tried to clean up my Chrome tabs but it turns out all 200 of them contain information that is vital for my survival.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

I think the world is ready for a fat James Bond.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Dear deodorant manufacturers, please stop writing “72h” on your products. There are people who believe that. And they sit next to me on the bus. Always. All of them!

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Shopping is the only exercise I need.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

There’s nothing like sitting by an open fire and watching the evidence burn.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

I love reaching into my messy bag looking for something and everyone around me hears like glass breaking and bombs going off and a cat meowing from inside there.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

I hate it when my body decides to get sick. I gave you a vegetable last week, how dare you.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Imagine you get to the gates of heaven and they make you download an app to go in.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

780 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,942

Funny Quotes Topics

13,915

Funny Quotes Images

10,942

3 minutes ago

3,427

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

I am convinced that size matters, especially when it comes to the heart.

Just landed via Messenger:

We are all monsters searching for someone to share our lives with.

Seen just now on Facebook:

You know that moment when you get up in the morning, you’re full of energy and you can’t wait to get to work? Me neither!

Going viral on Snapchat:

Monday? But, I wasn’t even finished with Saturday yet.

Going viral on Reddit:

No one knows what I’m up to, not even me.

Trending via Messenger:

Mom asked me what I was drinking the first time I got drunk and I said “breast milk” and now she’s not talking to me.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I think my new neighbors are creeps. They seem to be looking into my window every time I’m looking out my window to see what they are doing.

Broadcasted on Slack:

When people suck the life out of you, they should take some fat too.

Breaking via X:

Whenever I go down the stairs next to an escalator, I always move faster than the escalator to prove to the people I made the better decision.

Making waves on Threads:

If I had known I looked this sexy in glasses, I would’ve stopped being able to see a long time ago.

Instead of hairstyles and make-up, there should be YouTube tutorials on polite behavior.

6 months ago

Instead of hairstyles and make-up, there should be YouTube tutorials on polite behavior.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, absolutely! I can already imagine the title: "Tutorial Tuesday: How to Slay with Sophistication". 💁‍♀️💄 Let's see those influencers swapping contouring tips for conversational finesse! Who needs a fierce winged eyeliner when you can rock a killer 'please' and 'thank you' combo? 💁‍♂️✨ #MannersMakeover

behavior, etiquette, hairstyle, humor, make-up, makeup, polite, polite behavior, should, skills, social, social skills, tutorial, tutorials, YouTube

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

780 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,942

Funny Quotes Topics

13,915

Funny Quotes Images

10,942

3 minutes ago

3,437

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

There should be a way to take back a compliment bestowed upon a person who doesn’t acknowledge it well.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

There is too much money in the world for me to be broke.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Be careful when you follow the masses sometimes the M is silent.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

A narcissist wants the authority of a king while having the accountability of a toddler.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Does your blood pump that way just for me?

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

My motivation and me: It’s complicated.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

The part right before bench pressing when you’re laying down but not lifting is so good.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

Before you have kids, ask yourself: how patient am I with really stupid people?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

I talk to my dog like she’s human and, like most humans, she looks at me like I’m an idiot.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Requesting the Pink Panther theme song at karaoke and just standing on the stage motionless the entire time.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I wonder if this is all happening because I opened that umbrella inside.

Shared recently on Instagram:

He probably follows so many women because he believes in elevating their voices.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Born to be a Jedi spinning a lightsaber, forced to work full-time and pay rent.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I could be a masseuse, or I could just be pulling your leg.

Seen just now on X:

I have a bit of an inferiority complex. But it’s not a very good one.

Just landed via Threads:

My brain says “Let’s do something exciting today” but my body says “Don’t listen to that fool.”

Live now on X:

Just paid my bills, so don’t ask me to come out. I’m at home getting my money’s worth.

Just shared via Messenger:

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that you’re an expert on my life and how I should live it! Please continue while I take notes.

Just landed via Facebook:

My dream is to buy a horse and race it. The horse will probably beat me but it’ll still be fun.

Trending via Slack:

Break-up so bad, he blocked me on Pokémon Go.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All fights retarded. 🤪

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴