Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

People don’t have demonically glowing red eyes in photographs like they used to.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

I don’t need to bring anything to a knife fight, because I don’t go to knife fights.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Rom-com idea: Gozilla +1. Godzilla gets invited to a wedding but struggles to convince anyone to go with him.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

76% of pardoned turkeys end up back in the system.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

There’s a disgusting pervert at the bar watching pornography over my shoulder.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

I just want peace, not a notification every time someone breathes.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

I love tennis but never really been clear why they need a lifeguard.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Not to brag, but I just walked upstairs and remembered why.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

If your boyfriend insists he rolls everywhere because it’s ‘faster than walking’, you may be dating a gamer.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

You guys can continue with the week, I’ve stopped here.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2384 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,546

Funny Quotes Topics

15,226

Funny Quotes Images

12,546

37 minutes ago

3,460

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Gotta find someone you’re thermostatically compatible with. You can’t be a 74 dating a 62.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Just a reminder that with Die Hard, Robin Hood and Love Actually, ‘Alan Rickman ruins Christmas’ is a whole movie subgenre.

Trending via Threads:

As you get older, nothing loses its sting more than an authority figure saying they are disappointed in you. Like, I don’t know what to tell you, dude, we can’t both live in the prison of your expectations.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Turns out that ending meetings with “have the day you deserve” has made me some enemies at work.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Farting, but with eye contact.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Hello, boyfriend? It’s me, girlfriend, from dating?

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Don’t give up on your dreams. Go back to bed.

Reported on Slack:

If you are lonely, dim all the lights and put on a horror movie. You won’t feel like you are lonely any more.

Just shared via Discord:

It’s so peaceful when you have no interest in other people’s business.

Making waves on Facebook:

I’m going to be real pissed if I get my shit together and the world ends.

Instead of writing letters, let’s wait a week before texting each other back so it still feels like it.

Jan 22, 2025

Instead of writing letters, let’s wait a week before texting each other back so it still feels like it.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the ancient art of delayed communication! 📬🕰️ Who needs instant replies when you can savor the anticipation like a fine wine? 🍷 Let's bring back the thrill of waiting for a text response – it's like a digital game of hide and seek! 🙈📱 #PatienceIsAVirtue"

back, communication, humor, letters, patience, relationship, still, texting, timing, wait, week, writing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2384 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,546

Funny Quotes Topics

15,226

Funny Quotes Images

12,546

37 minutes ago

3,451

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

I’m not scared of love, I’m scared of insufficient cash.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

My security system is just a bunch of my unpaid bills taped to my front door.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

The only joke my mom ever made was me.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

The dumbest thing about YouTube ads is how they seem to think that I’m a moron.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Asking my dentist a question, but sticking my fingers in his mouth before he replies.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

I need to stop living by the words “life is short.” It’s hurting my bank account.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

I’m pretty sure I fall under the percentage of people who’ve eaten the sticker on the apple.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

I disagree with my politics.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Tweeting shouldn’t cost money but it should flip you on your back like a bug for 15 minutes.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

I’m not lazy, I’m waiting for inspiration to hit me… should be here any time now.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via LinkedIn:

There are days when trying to control your class is like trying to hug a tornado.

Shared recently on Slack:

Hey, sorry I’m late, I didn’t want to come.

Spotted on TikTok:

Spice up your work day by drinking your coffee from a flask.

Spreading quickly via X:

Maybe I’ll quit so I can focus on summer.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Whatever the plot is in Barbie’s movie, my dolls have been through worse.

Just shared via Slack:

I hope Instagram is still active during the apocalypse, so the zombies can post pics of whose brains they’re currently eating.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

One night stands just make more sense for single people. Why would you need a night stand on both sides of the bed?

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Life hack: put on an apron at home and people think you’re super busy doing important stuff even when you’re not.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by saying they look tired.

Spotted on X:

I think, therefore I am. I am, therefore I think. Therefore I am. I think.

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