Trendy Funny Quotes

  • I used to eat my feelings but now it’s so expensive, I might as well go to therapy.
  • I’ve heard that people who don’t have Facebook use their free time to lie naked on top of each other. Ew, imagine that.
  • Is it better to beat someone to the punch or punch someone to the beat?
  • I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.
  • I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.
  • Buying new glasses this week, so a whole bunch of you are about to get a whole lot uglier.