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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

One day you’ll meet that amazing person who just gets you, and they won’t text you back either.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Not all angels are in heaven, me for example, I’m at work.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Having a crush should be considered a form of self-harm.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

My dental hygienist is probably thinking, I bet i could braid this guys nose hair.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

I don’t think astronauts should be allowed to come back. You made your choice.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

I love how my brain is like, “We’re not going to think about that,” and then thinks about only that.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but no one in the world is judging you as much as you’re judging yourself. People online: Hold my beer.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

You’re in her DMs. I’m accidentally reposting reels of Tibetan foxes because I don’t know how to use the app anymore.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

They were called “TV programs” because they were literally programming us, bro.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Sleep with each other, or someone else will!

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,649

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

You get to a certain age and realize stretching is non-negotiable.

Live now on TikTok:

The only thing that drains faster than my phone battery is my bank account.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Why do you always wanna change your life before you fall asleep, then in the morning you wake up like ‘Nah!’

Shared recently on Threads:

Shoutout to drug dealers for teaching the metric system to Americans.

Just landed via Facebook:

Sex is cool, but have you ever received reassurance without asking for it?

Freshly posted on Twitch:

“You’ve changed!” Yeah, I don’t like you.

Spotted on TikTok:

The way turkeys feel about November is probably how treadmills feel about January.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Having a nicotine addiction is basically just adding a new base layer to Maslow’s hierarchy for no reason.

Spotted on WeChat:

All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.

Going viral on Facebook:

If you have to remind them to give a shit, remind yourself not to.

Is everything expensive or am I just poor?

3 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Funny, relatable quote questioning if everything's costly or just personal finances.

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Commentary:
"Is everything expensive or am I just independently wealthy in an alternate universe? 💸🤔 #BrokeButBoojee"

am, everything, expensive, financial, humor, i, irony, just, money, perspective, poor

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76 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’ve never been cut in half by a magician, but I have worn jeans on Thanksgiving. Same thing.

22 shares on Pinterest this month:

76% of pardoned turkeys end up back in the system.

56 shares on Instagram this month:

Feeling melancholy. Think I’ll have a drink and make things much worse.

100 shares on Snapchat this month:

I have a brain that wants to be alone, and a heart that wants to be loved.

16 shares on TikTok this month:

I did vote once but only because I thought the line was to a buffet.

58 shares on Instagram this month:

Getting stoned when you have a cat is awesome because it will just walk in and I’m immediately cracking up. Like, look at this dude, I bloody love this guy.

99 shares on YouTube this month:

Being gracefully insane is the secret to a happy life.

87 shares on Discord this month:

Everyone gives pleasure in some way, one when they enter a room, the other when they leave it.

71 shares on TikTok this month:

Job applications are so stupid. “What’s your desired salary?” Ten billion dollars. Next question.

42 shares on Instagram this month:

“What’s a random act of kindness you’ve done for a stranger recently?” I helped a bunch of teens buy alcohol and cigarettes the other day.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Somehow I picked the worst possible decade to try to have a career.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Sorry I didn’t respond to your message, I got stuck in a cloud while skydiving and lived for 72 days by drinking rain and eating birds that flew too close.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Everybody looks like a criminal on the self-checkout camera.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

I always wonder who makes a more stupid face: women putting on make-up or men shaving?

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Maybe somewhere in a parallel universe, I wake up feeling refreshed and energetic each day.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Haircuts should be covered by healthcare.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

I don’t know what millennial needs to hear this, but throw away the box your phone came in. You don’t need it. You will never need it.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

If Dracula had a cat, she’d be the one sleeping in the coffin.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Please don’t match my crazy. One of us has to be rational here, and it’s definitely not going to be me.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

“Can’t wait till I get older” was the dumbest thing I ever said.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

Overheard the most hilarious conversation on my morning commute, then realized it was just me talking to myself in my car.

Spotted on Messenger:

Gay? We don’t use that word anymore. Person of rainbow.

Seen just now on Discord:

Let’s build a fort with blankets and pillows, and just stay in it all day.

Just shared via Messenger:

Wish I could just go back to eating cookies and not knowing what day it was.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Don’t understand why electricians aren’t called power rangers, but okay.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

In contrast to the ship, the movie Titanic was quite well received in America.

Spotted on Slack:

My son got braces today. Yay, he’s not going to be a teenage dad.

Trending via Reddit:

I’ve been thinking. Is ‘fat’ short for anything? Like an old word or something?

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Let’s ride this misunderstanding into the sunset.

Going viral on Reddit:

Roses are red, violets are blue. Your parents are very disappointed in you.

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Activity Log ✨

Is everything expensive or am I just poor?

All these years on the internet we have been working for artificial intelligence.

I love when my cat sighs at me, like what’s got you stressed out my little freeloading homicidal maniac!?

Women aren’t complicated. Just give us attention and leave us alone.

I’m so smart, I got rid of cable and now I only have $638 in monthly streaming services.

I’ve convinced myself bumblebees don’t sting because they’re too fluffy and cute.

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Activity Log ✨

Is everything expensive or am I just poor?

Keep the laugh going 😂

All these years on the internet we have been working for artificial intelligence.

I love when my cat sighs at me, like what’s got you stressed out my little freeloading homicidal maniac!?

I do not like FaceTime unless we’re best friends or I’m in love with you.

Women aren’t complicated. Just give us attention and leave us alone.

I’m so smart, I got rid of cable and now I only have $638 in monthly streaming services.

I’ve convinced myself bumblebees don’t sting because they’re too fluffy and cute.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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