Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

I thought you are the sunshine of my life, but you are just a meteor trying to destroy my world.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

You ever notice how fans of the worst music always focus on the meanings of the songs instead of the actual music?

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Hired a financial advisor, and his first piece of advice was that I don’t make nearly enough money to justify paying a financial advisor.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

It got weird when I thought both arm rests at the movie theatre were mine.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Once I shot a man with a paintball gun, just to watch him dye.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

My problem areas are my upper arms and earth.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

I need an emergency cheeseburger.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

So heartbreaking to do laundry and realize you can’t wash the clothes you’re literally wearing right now… you will never have a completely fresh start.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Get married and have kids so that you can Google things like “How to teach your kid to not bite”.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Welcome to your fifties. Saturday Night Fever now means lots of rest, cold medicine, and chicken noodle soup.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,273

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

Desperately searching the dating app settings for an option to turn down the difficulty level.

Going bananas on X:

Nothing can break the bond between me and peanut butter.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Maybe coffee is addicted to me?

Going viral on Reddit:

I don’t think people are actually getting any dumber. I think stupid people have just become way more confident.

Trending via Telegram:

The web is the only place where you encourage strangers to follow you. What could possibly go wrong?

Trending via Facebook:

The worst part about being an adult is that no matter how sad you get, the show must go on.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Overheard a baby crying in the grocery store the other day so I went over and joined him. I get it, little dude, life is hard.

Trending via Slack:

Felony Vandalism is a beautiful name for a girl.

Just shared via Twitch:

A few months after the wedding, Cinderella’s husband began to complain about her having too many shoes.

Breaking via YouTube:

I don’t abuse substances. I cherish and nurture them.

Is it healthier to drink tap water and let the fluoride calcify my pineal gland or drink bottled spring water and let micro plastics settle in my balls?

2 weeks ago

Witty and humorous text questioning health choices between tap water and bottled water.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old dilemma: a calcified pineal gland or plastic-infused balls? 🚰💦 It's a tough choice between becoming a human water filter or a living stress ball! 😂 Which one will you pick for your daily dose of existential crisis?"

balls, bottled, bottled water, drink, fluoride, gland, health, humor, let, micro, microplastics, pineal, pineal gland, spring, tap, tap water, water

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m very loyal to whatever brand is on sale.

39 shares on Slack this month:

I might look calm, but in my head I’ve punched you in the face three times.

21 shares on Facebook this month:

Blocking isn’t enough, I hope your pillow never has a cold side.

54 shares on Facebook this month:

Nobody shoots annoying people into the sun anymore and that’s why there are so many of them left on earth.

89 shares on Reddit this month:

I wish every day had 30,000 hours, and that I had unlimited Adderall and was unemployed.

49 shares on WeChat this month:

Welcome to your 50s, your knees will now decide when you will sit down.

65 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Plot twist: the universe is waiting for you to give it a sign.

42 shares on WhatsApp this month:

People will name their dog Steve and have two kids named Buddy and Rocket.

65 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you relate to me, get some help!

38 shares on WeChat this month:

If I say “with all due respect,” nothing respectful is about to come out of my mouth.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Skin coloured leggings should be illegal.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Now I understand why old people sit outside just to sit outside.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone thinks they will be the first person in history to maintain their dignity while posting online.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Due to inflation, alien abduction no longer comes with free probes. Humans are required to bring their own probes or may purchase a probe on board the spacecraft for a moderate fee.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Humans are the only species that would cut down trees, make paper out of them, and then write “Save the Trees” on it.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

If you were a dinosaur, you’d be a Gorgeousaurus.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not always a couch potato. For instance, right now I’m a chair potato, and later I’ll be a bed potato.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve decided to cut my carbs… into smaller pieces before eating them.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Two bros having a conversation in the 1700s like “omg, we should totally start a pamphlet”

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Careful, “friend”. One more word about Shakira and you might find out just how fast I can draw this blade.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,394

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

People say, “Listen to your heart, do the right thing,” like they are the same things.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

I think everyone should get $500 deposited into their accounts every day, just for waking up.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Give yourself time to heal. A couple of decades should do it.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

I’m not good at quickly making up derogatory names on the fly, unless I’m driving.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

I see no action figures, puzzles, or board games. I thought you said you wanted to play with me.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

“Topless” doesn’t always mean breasts or a convertible. Sometimes it also means the brain.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

You lose some, you lose some more.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

When life closes a door, just open it again. It’s a door, that’s how they work.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

I didn’t know that Rome wasn’t built in a day. I wasn’t on that job.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

Will someone please make me drink some water and limit my screen time?

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

Imagine you blocked me, and I crawled out from under your couch to ask why.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

The most avoidant man you know is somewhere telling someone he’s a lover boy.

Trending via WhatsApp:

You’re still ragebaiting? Everyone is on vagueposting now. Keep up.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be turning you into a poem.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I’m at the gym and I just saw someone put their water bottle in the Pringles holder on the treadmill.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

“I’m too young to be forgetting why I walked into a room.”

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Getting old would be so fun if you didn’t wake up each morning with neck pain that suggests you slept hanging upside down like a bat.

Trending via TikTok:

Parents be like, “I gave you everything I had,” and by everything, they meant the collector’s edition boxed set of mental illness.

Seen just now on WeChat:

A couple of birds are outside fighting. Wait. They’ve quieted down. There’s a third bird. I think he may be their therapist.

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