Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

There should be bloopers at the end of horror films to relax the viewer before sleeping.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Relationships are actually easy when you’re not dating a lying weirdo.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

People who say “teamwork makes the dream work” are the reason that some people want to punch other people in the face.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Don’t let anyone tell you, you can’t do something. Show them you can’t.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

Having a crush is so stupid. Like, why is this dude in my head at 8 am?

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

They portray Pilates like it’s this cute girly thing and it’s actually training for combat.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

I made some bad choices in life, but I never bought a pair of Crocs.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Bluesky honestly feels like a miracle where you take the most annoying people in the world and stick them in a broken elevator together.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

I admire the audacity of beavers, they just move to a new area and say “screw the neighbors, imma put a lake here”.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

I birthed my kid faster than she can put on shoes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Dec 22, 2025

3,883

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Can I come over and overstay my welcome?

Going viral on WhatsApp:

It’s okay, facial recognition. I don’t recognize myself anymore either.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Okay, this integrity isn’t going to compromise itself.

Shared recently on Slack:

Seeing a beautiful woman drink her beer is like witnessing an angel take flight.

Going bananas on WeChat:

I hate listening to a rapper that I used to adore, and they just don’t have it anymore.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I wasn’t planning on moving, but I was just invited to the neighborhood fall potluck, so I guess now I have no choice.

Going viral on Pinterest:

My bank account may not be full but my sink, laundry basket and arteries sure are.

Making waves on Reddit:

Annoyed because I want to live my life without a job.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I’m so high at Home Depot right now, and I have to ask where the hose at. And I know I’mma laugh when I do.

Trending via TikTok:

I have no use for mean people. I’ll walk right past you like you’re furniture.

Is it healthier to drink tap water and let the fluoride calcify my pineal gland or drink bottled spring water and let micro plastics settle in my balls?

2 months ago

0

Is it healthier to drink tap water and let the fluoride calcify my pineal gland or drink bottled spring water and let micro plastics settle in my balls?

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old dilemma: a calcified pineal gland or plastic-infused balls? 🚰💦 It's a tough choice between becoming a human water filter or a living stress ball! 😂 Which one will you pick for your daily dose of existential crisis?"

balls, bottled, bottled water, drink, fluoride, gland, health, humor, let, micro, microplastics, pineal, pineal gland, spring, tap, tap water, water

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

How did the person who invented the spelling of “banana” decide when to stop?

0

2 months ago

banana, creativity, decide, decision, humor, inventor, language, person, spelling, stop, wordplay
ChatGPT, what do you do when you find out your boyfriend’s been using ChatGPT to write you messages?

0

1 month ago

AI, boyfriend, ChatGPT, dating, humor, joke, message, messages, relationship, technology, using
Imagining how cathartic it must feel to send forth thousands and thousands of bats from your Transylvanian manor.

0

4 months ago

bat, bats, catharsis, feel, gothic, humor, imagination, manor, send, Transylvania, vampire
My mind is like someone dumped the entire junk drawer on a trampoline.

0

2 months ago

chaos, disarray, drawer, humor, junk, junk drawer, mind, randomness, someone, trampoline
I fractured my laziness and dislocated my interest.

0

1 month ago

dislocation, fracture, humor, i, interest, laziness, procrastination
My bank account and I are no longer on speaking terms.

0

1 month ago

account, bank, bank account, conversation, debt, finance, humor, i, joke, longer, money, relationship, speaking, terms

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

42 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I just looked over at my new shoes and the box says “vegan”. I’ve never had to feed my other shoes before.

45 shares on YouTube this month:

Crazy that caffeine has no short or long-term negative side effects. Just a super drug from God.

99 shares on WeChat this month:

Perfume is designed to be an invisible accessory. It’s not designed to instantly kill the canary when you entered the room.

42 shares on Threads this month:

I love asking 5 different people for advice then doing what I want.

57 shares on Instagram this month:

Forgetting to put jewelry and perfume on is literally the worst feeling.

97 shares on Reddit this month:

Good luck sending me mixed signals. Most the time I can’t even understand the direct ones.

85 shares on Instagram this month:

Napping is the best activity for weight loss, because I can’t eat anything when I’m asleep!

78 shares on YouTube this month:

There’s poetry in walking away without closing the door too loud.

69 shares on Twitch this month:

I don’t understand all the fuss about ChatGPT – I have teenagers who already know everything.

48 shares on Snapchat this month:

Socialism isn’t wrong because it has compassion. It’s wrong because it doesn’t work.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Why is no one talking about the sheer pleasure of coming home from vacation and using your own bathroom.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Are you even a parent if you’ve never carried your child out of a store sideways like a surfboard?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

How inappropriate is it to ask a stranger to scratch your back? Need to know ten minutes ago.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I wasn’t planning on moving, but I was just invited to the neighborhood fall potluck, so I guess now I have no choice.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Are there any medium rappers? They’re always Big or Lil.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I love having plans to cancel.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Canceled a date for a date with another guy, and that guy canceled. It’s what I deserve.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Forget my browser history, when I finally pass from this earth, please delete my calculator history because it’s way more embarrassing.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I just be giggling, then start thinking about bills and remember ain’t nothing funny.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

If you ever ask a teen to do something and they just say “sure” without arguing, check that they haven’t been replaced with an android.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,705

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Children really brighten up a home. They never turn the lights off, …

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

People are too casual about the fact that parrots can talk.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

They expect me to work at work.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

You ask a girl if she ate, and she gon say, “Yeah, I had my coffee.”

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

Sometimes I miss the time when there was only one idiot per village.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

If I had a dollar for every time someone called me fat, I’d probably just spend it on more bacon.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Petition to make check-in at hotels 11am and check-out 3pm, not the other way around. Like, WTF?

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

I have this rare skin disease called perfect.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie. After a while it won’t feel like you are alone anymore.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

“Those tattoos will make it harder to get a job!” Okay, well so will my personality.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Really love how dancing alone in your room can literally save your life.

Breaking via Instagram:

Everyone’s gangsta till you’re waiting on your dog to poop.

Shared recently on YouTube:

That masculine urge to completely avoid relationships until you get your life together.

Spotted on Facebook:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, spreading goat cheese on a bagel.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Me: “I’m still young.” My bones: “No, we not.”

Seen just now on X:

New cinephile technique “method watching” — when you watch a movie and then act and talk like the main character for 2 months.

Just shared via Snapchat:

The real threat to Democracy is the Bureaucracy.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

How do I tell Instagram I don’t want to see guys almost eaten by gators?

Going viral on Slack:

You know you’re getting old when you’re entering your birth year online and you need to spin that thing like you’re on wheel of fortune.

Breaking via Threads:

The human body requires so much maintenance. Who designed this thing?

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