Is it healthier to drink tap water and let the fluoride calcify my pineal gland or drink bottled spring water and let micro plastics settle in my balls?

Commentary:
“Ah, the age-old dilemma: a calcified pineal gland or plastic-infused balls? 🚰💦 It’s a tough choice between becoming a human water filter or a living stress ball! 😂 Which one will you pick for your daily dose of existential crisis?”