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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

People will be like “there is no right or wrong way to do it” until you do it the wrong way.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

My phone is on Do Not Disturb because I am disturbed enough as it is.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

At bedtime, I ceremonially move the claw clip from my hair to the bag of chips, signifying the end of the day.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

I’m bringing back “holy moly” and nobody can stop me.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

I just found out it takes 5 sheep to make one wool sweater. I didn’t even know they knew how to knit.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Shoutout to all ladies dating silently without making noise on social media. May God give you another man as a bonus.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

I feel like we’re all just angry and horny.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Toddlers: I’ve licked everything so everything is mine now.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

HR has told me to stop saying ‘How stupid can you be?’ to members of staff. They’re worried it’s being taken as a challenge.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Brains are awesome. I wish I had one.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,413

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

Having a toddler is wild. I’m getting breaking news about Peppa Pig.

Trending via Snapchat:

Why is it that your clothes only get caught on the door handle when you’re in a bad mood?

Seen just now on Messenger:

Men have nice skin because they stress out everyone but themselves.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I’d like to place an order for a large kiss and an extra-long hug.

Just landed via Facebook:

Maybe women decided to convince men that beards were sexy because they were sick of cleaning the washbasin after he shaved.

Spotted on X:

Dude, we’re biting off more than we can chew tonight if you want to pull up.

Shared recently on X:

9-5 is really 10-2 if you’re working remote.

Seen just now on Slack:

Don’t let anyone ruin your day. Be a man. Ruin it yourself.

Trending via Reddit:

When someone asks me if my twins are natural, I tell them no they’re robots.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Just found out it don’t matter how early I go to bed, I just don’t wanna go to work.

It takes only one person in this world to make you smile. It’s called a plastic surgeon.

Witty quote about plastic surgeons bringing smiles in a humorous way.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs friends when you have a plastic surgeon to lift your spirits and your face 🤣💉 Don't worry, be Botox-y! 😁 #SmileEnhancement"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sometimes I clean my room so dramatically, it feels like I’m erasing evidence.

15 shares on Pinterest this month:

Having a peanut allergy has to be so wild. Like, imagine you’re at a baseball game and there are people chucking bags of rattlesnakes past your head.

52 shares on Twitch this month:

I avoid those club cameras like my life depends on it.

100 shares on Facebook this month:

Think like a crazy person, and then you’ll understand.

60 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $1 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst anniversary gifts ever.

48 shares on X this month:

You’re an atheist? Well, I don’t believe you. See how you like it.

59 shares on Snapchat this month:

I don’t really do one-night stands, but I will do, like, 3-8 months of a semi-toxic, undefined relationship that wastes my time and ruins my life.

91 shares on Reddit this month:

Y’all made fun of Plankton on Spongebob for dating a computer, and look at y’all now.

17 shares on Snapchat this month:

“Winter is literally the best season.” Okay, husky, go sit outside then.

19 shares on Threads this month:

Sure, breakups are hard, but have you ever had to wait for your phone to stop ringing so you can start using it again?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The great thing about playing the trombone is no one knows if you’re good at it or not.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

It was a tough year, but at least I did not buy a Labubu.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Convinced my kid her harmonica didn’t work because the instructions were missing.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The final level of being smart is just pretending you don’t know anything to make your life easier.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Telling the guy next to me on the subway that I’m not even ticklish, so don’t bother trying.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I can show you the stars, we just have to stand up really fast.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s so embarrassing when attention seekers feel the need to tell everybody it’s their birthday in, like, every conversation, which, for me, would be today, by the way.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m an expert at having a really funny story to tell and then wording it so badly that it’s not even funny anymore.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter is a weapon of mass distraction.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Female rage is your handbag continuously slipping off your shoulder.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,596

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

I’ve used dark mode so much that I’m physically repulsed by white screens now.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

All I’ve ever wanted is to look good naked, hope that someone can take it.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

I want a girlfriend so hot that people walking down the street know that I am funny.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

I don’t always leave the house, but when I do, I shouldn’t.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

I’ve finally found a book that speaks to me. I believe it’s called an “audiobook”.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

In medieval Europe, it was pretty easy to amass vast armies eager to go into battle and have their heads chopped off because no one wanted to be alive in medieval Europe.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Remember when movies felt real, and foreheads could wrinkle.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Bursting into a million bats the second I see you.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

I am MTV, still played music videos, years old.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

It’s a good thing Titanic is only a movie. A lot of people would’ve died.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

We need a word for a type of person who spends all their time working to live in a city so they can be near cool things, but they don’t actually like going out.

Trending via Snapchat:

Instead of being constantly irritated by other people’s flaws, I’ve decided to become more self-absorbed.

Seen just now on X:

Can’t, holding a grudge.

Just shared via TikTok:

They should have made a pool raft that looked like a broken door when Titanic was in theaters. I bet it would have sold millions.

Just shared via Twitch:

White Lotus is a cautionary tale about taking time off from work.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Just because the deodorant says 48 hrs, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

Going viral on X:

Like an advent calendar, you make me want to open up more every day.

Just shared via Threads:

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your credit card from your purse.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Being naked with headphones on is so fun.

Trending via Twitch:

I know stretching every day will help me, but I don’t want to do it.

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