It’s a good thing that our phones only convey sight and sound. No offense, but from most of you I would never want to receive a smelfie!

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

I want a restraining order on everyone who doesn’t wear deodorant.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

It really is Monday every 15 minutes.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

My cats won’t talk to me because I came home late from work.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

We live in a cosmic tornado, but sure, let’s all get jobs.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

I got a bumper sticker that says, “Honk if you think I’m pretty.” Sometimes I just sit at green lights until I feel better about myself.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

I’d trust a groundhog over a weatherman any day.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Adulthood is realising no one cares about you, and the show must go on.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

9am: anything is possible. 2pm: maybe tomorrow.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

It’s okay to run away from the cops if you’re shy.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Why are they called “grammar Nazis” and not “the Gestypo”?