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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

How soon into a new relationship should you let her know you’re an idiot?

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

If I ever get the death penalty, I hope “by chocolate” is an option.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

Apparently, if you leave your Tupperware cupboard unorganized for too long, they procreate, and extra lids appear out of nowhere.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

I was waiting on the universe but the universe was actually waiting on me.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

You’d think someone in the room would’ve spoken up like “hey guys, maybe it’s a bad idea to make one ring to rule them all”.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

12 people have been to the moon and only 8 people have won Takeshi’s Castle. Really makes you think.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

If people love cheese so much, why are they mad when someone smells like cheese.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

Hey man, be careful on the trampoline, one of my buddies never came back down.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

I bet being full feels so good for the moon.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,427

Social Media Log 💫

It’s okay, facial recognition. I don’t recognize myself anymore either.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Facial recognition technology is keeping up with us during those 'I woke up like this' moments 😂🤖 #SelfieStruggles"

change, facial, facial recognition, humor, i, identity, myself, okay, personal, recognition, self

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Did you seriously just pique my interest?

0

2 months ago

curiosity, expression, humor, interest, just, phrase, sarcasm, seriously, surprise
You know you’re old when you you barely do anything all day, but still need a nap to continue doing barely anything.

0

2 months ago

age, day, doing, doing nothing, humor, laziness, nap, need, nothing, old, tiredness
Anyone know how to create an Outlook rule that sends every email to junk, deletes it, blocks the sender, and sets my laptop on fire?

0

2 months ago

block, delete, email, every, fire, frustration, humor, junk, know, laptop, outlook, rule, sender
If he doesn’t like your fruit puns, you need to let that mango.

0

2 months ago

fruit, humor, joke, let, let go, mango, need, pun, puns, relationship
I’m a freak in the spreadsheets.

0

2 months ago

data, freak, geek, humor, nerd, office, spreadsheet, work
My five-year plan only requires a few acts of God.

0

5 months ago

act, act of God, five-year, five-year plan, God, humor, life, life plan, only, plan, sarcasm, unpredictability

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on Instagram this month:

I came, I saw, I was disappointed, so I left.

35 shares on Pinterest this month:

It is not without reason that all telescopes searching for intelligent life are pointed away from Earth.

89 shares on TikTok this month:

Fitness influencer: It’s important to listen to your body. Body: You’re old. And you want lasagna.

73 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t know if I’m pregnant or what, but I’ve been craving 3 million dollars so bad.

64 shares on Messenger this month:

I love being home and doing absolutely nothing and never contributing to society.

58 shares on Snapchat this month:

My friend and I had a running joke. She said, “Let’s do a marathon,” and then we both laughed.

31 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m thinking of maybe killing off a few characters in the book I’m writing. That will really spice up my autobiography.

37 shares on Pinterest this month:

Muting morons is good for your health.

64 shares on Messenger this month:

That feeling when you take the first bite of your favourite food, that’s called chewphoria.

81 shares on Twitch this month:

Single in the womb, single till the tomb!

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Having a sore throat as a giraffe must really suck.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

I can actually be quite charming if you would let me out of the guillotine.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

True romantics have made peace with the possibility of lifelong solitude.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

My teen believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left, and oh, how I laughed and laughed.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Guilty pleasure? Why would I ever feel guilty about pleasure.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Sometimes I need a break from myself but it’s like, ugh, everywhere I go there I am.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Life is too short. Tell his mom what he did to you.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Girl cats get named after ancient goddesses and boy cats get named after Taco Bell menu items.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

It’s our first time on Earth, so why are you a life coach?

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

I don’t usually think about what I say before I say it. I prefer to think about it after I’ve said it, late at night, for the rest of my life.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on WeChat:

What you call “Brunch” I call “Breakfast for Alcoholics.”

Going bananas on Threads:

It is kind of inspiring that I messed up my life without drugs, gambling or a troubled youth. People really can do anything.

Shared recently on Instagram:

It’s actually scary how your whole life depends on how well you did as a teenager.

Live now on Instagram:

I’m 6 donuts away from being the elephant in the room.

Spotted on YouTube:

Chill, folks, it’s just a simulation.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Why can’t they use deep fake technology for good instead of evil? Like taking Zoom meetings for you, stuff like that.

Just landed via WeChat:

Lazy Rule: Can’t reach it, don’t need it.

Shared recently on X:

Did you know that if a unicorn and I were to race, the unicorn would likely win cause unicorns are about as real as my desire to race anything?

Going viral on Instagram:

Fun fact: The confetti you’ll see in Times Square tonight was made from one CVS receipt.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

This Dollar Tree energy drink has me seeing colors that aren’t available to the naked eye, yet.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

It’s okay, facial recognition. I don’t recognize myself anymore either.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Did you seriously just pique my interest?

You know you’re old when you you barely do anything all day, but still need a nap to continue doing barely anything.

Anyone know how to create an Outlook rule that sends every email to junk, deletes it, blocks the sender, and sets my laptop on fire?

If he doesn’t like your fruit puns, you need to let that mango.

I’m a freak in the spreadsheets.

My five-year plan only requires a few acts of God.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨