17 funny facial quotes - Wordgag

No Botox. I need to furrow my brow when people say dumb things.

May 28, 2026

I can keep my mouth shut, but you can read the subtitles on my face.

May 27, 2026

I suffer from that syndrome where your neutral expression makes it look like you’re an angry serial killer.

May 27, 2026

Remember when movies felt real, and foreheads could wrinkle.

May 27, 2026

Ohhh, I just realised you can change your facial expression. I was just doing the one.

May 27, 2026

I mostly choose to stay silent in weird situations but my face has subtitles.

May 26, 2026

When a lady compliments your facial hair, have the goddamn decency to compliment hers.

May 26, 2026

Robert De Niro always looks like he just smelled a nasty fart.

May 24, 2026

The way my phone’s facial recognition pretends not to recognize me, you’d think I dated it.

May 23, 2026

Facial recognition technology, but for me when I’m talking to people I’ve apparently met before.

May 22, 2026

Shout out to all you people out there who get asked if you’re okay a lot even though that’s the only facial expression you have.

May 22, 2026

It’s okay, facial recognition. I don’t recognize myself anymore either.

May 21, 2026

No one told me middle age would be so fuzzy, and if you are wondering whether I mean my eyesight or my facial hair, yes.

May 20, 2026

If you have gray in your beard, you can hit it.

May 19, 2026

Pluck a single eyebrow hair in 1994, and it never grows back. Pluck a single chin hair today, and it’s back with five friends by 6 p.m.

May 19, 2026

Just because I’m smiling doesn’t mean I like you, I might be picturing you on fire.

Mar 31, 2026

Resting bitch face saves me from so many conversations I don’t want to be part of.

Mar 31, 2026