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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ญ๐Ÿ‡บ has shared:

Can I sell my feelings on ebay, I don’t want them anymore.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has shared:

Sorry, I canโ€™t talk right now. The seam of my sock feels weird.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ท has downloaded:

It’s interesting growing up and learning that most adults are not smart. I had my suspicions as a kid, but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ณ has viewed:

This can’t be the life I protected with a mask in 2020.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has downloaded:

Realizing this yogurt I’m eating is more active and cultured than I am.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has downloaded:

I keep myself humble by messing up all the time.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ฐ has copied:

Much like a candle, I was tall when I was young, but I get shorter as I grow old.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡น has viewed:

Only mosquitoes find me attractive. Nobody else.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ฏ has viewed:

In these difficult times, itโ€™s important to remember that cheese exists.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has shared:

Donโ€™t ever let your computer feel that youโ€™re in a hurry, cause theyโ€™re gonna slow down more.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,371

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Your child learning to say mommy is when your life begins and ends.

Just shared via Threads:

If you go by “Toni,” I always think your full name is Rigatoni.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Who called it America and not the fast food and the furious?

Making waves on Pinterest:

My bed is from Ikea, so itโ€™s more unstable than i am.

Shared recently on X:

Wow, pretty rude for people to exist who are younger and hotter than me, but OK.

Going viral on X:

It’s funny how people without pizzas in their hands actually think I’ll answer my door.

Trending via X:

I donโ€™t know how to knit, so I made you a tinfoil hat.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Yeah, sex is great, but have you ever checked your bank account and had way more money than you expected.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Unloading the dishwasher in the opposite direction just to feel something.

Trending via Threads:

โ€œThe average CEO reads 52 books a year.โ€ Yeah, because they’ve got nothing else to do.

Itโ€™s only 9am and Iโ€™ve already ruined my sonโ€™s entire life by giving him the banana with the brown spot on it.

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Commentary:
Oh dear, parenting dilemmas at their finest! ๐ŸŒ๐Ÿ˜… Who knew a simple banana could wield so much power?! Just another day in the rollercoaster ride of parenting – buckle up and enjoy the brown-spotted twists and turns! ๐ŸŽข๐Ÿ˜†

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Keep the laugh going ๐Ÿ˜‚

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Social Media Stars โญ

27 shares on Threads this month:

Eating nothing but beer for a month and calling that Oktoberfast.

54 shares on Discord this month:

If sex was strictly meant for procreation, why did God make it feel so good?

28 shares on WeChat this month:

Normalize having a threatening aura, but really just being a sweetheart.

94 shares on Twitch this month:

I miss phone booths. We used to train our immune system in those things.

90 shares on Discord this month:

Everyone thinks they’re brave right up until a goose starts chasing them.

16 shares on X this month:

Youโ€™ll never realize how crazy you really are until you fall in love.

92 shares on TikTok this month:

They should invent a weekend that goes by slowly.

86 shares on Slack this month:

Time travel is all well and good, but I feel so stupid right now. None of them have the mustache. No way to tell which baby is Hitler.

25 shares on Snapchat this month:

Should I be worried that buzzards circle me when I go for a run?

40 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The Slow and the Furious: me navigating a shopping cart through a grocery store filled with morons.

Trending Topics ๐Ÿ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes ๐Ÿ’ฅ

6 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Do I need to have seen the Tokyo Olympics in order to understand the Paris ones?

9 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Thank you two-step authentication codes that expire after 60 seconds for providing Mission Impossible-type drama into my mundane suburban existence.

25 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.

13 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

My stomach just made the exact sound of the “your” in “your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice messaging system.”

12 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Women don’t apologize. They sleep naked and let you decide whether you are still angry or not.

14 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

If you see this, straighten your back, you banana-shaped mess.

18 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Do people still actually eat 3 meals a day, or do we all just survive off of stress and iced coffee?

6 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

My favorite part about talking to my teens is when they give me direct eye contact, listen intently, nod understandingly and then do the exact opposite of what I just said.

8 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Spent 20 minutes training ChatGPT to write the perfect anniversary note for my wife, so donโ€™t try to tell me Iโ€™m not romantic.

19 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

IKEA is like the Hotel California of furniture stores.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

calculatingโ€ฆ

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,311

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ด has downloaded:

โ€œNew password cannot be your old passwordโ€ makes me so mad.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has viewed:

Offering someone food, and secretly hoping, they donโ€™t want it.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡ผ has shared:

Imagine giving someone your heart at Christmas, but the very next day they give it away. Haha, would feel so stupid.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฎ has viewed:

Whenever you feel like the world is falling apart, take a deep breath and remember you’re right.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฟ has shared:

Non-alcoholic beer is like a vibrator without batteries: it fills you up nicely but without the buzz…

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡ธ has shared:

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and Iโ€™m like, cool, can one of you reach the top shelf for me.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ช has bookmarked:

Women donโ€™t pretend anymore to dig for something in their purse and then pull out their middle finger.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡จ has copied:

I should’ve existed as a tree.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช has copied:

When you wish you could tell someone that wonโ€™t stop talking โ€œOkay, weโ€™re out of time todayโ€, just like a therapist.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฑ has shared:

Welcome to Twitter, someone from an unhappy home will attend to you shortly.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

The week before your period doesnโ€™t make any sense… until you realize itโ€™s the week before your period.

Trending via TikTok:

Is it just my dad, or do all fathers watch videos on their phones with the volume full blast, with no concern for anyone else in the house?

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

They say water is the source of life, which is true because you can’t make coffee without water.

Just shared via WeChat:

They should invent a rest for the wicked.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I have thought one billion times about everything.

Shared recently on Slack:

Now that the nights are getting cooler again, spiders often hide in your bed in search of warmth. Sleep well!

Live now on Slack:

The audacity of someone being in the store aisle I want to go down.

Trending via WeChat:

King Kong shouldโ€™ve been able to find a better place to hide than the top of the tallest building in the middle of New York City.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

After overthinking about it for 6 hours, I have decided that it’s actually not that big of a deal.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I wish I could put an AirTag on my sanity.

ยฉ 2026. All rights reserved.

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