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Commentary:
"Ah, the joys of aging like a fine wine while simultaneously feeling like we're part of the antique collection 🍷👵🏼 #ForeverYoungAtHeart"

age, being, humor, irony, old, old people, people, perspective, same, strange

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Please don’t interrupt me when I’m trying to overhear something.

0

2 months ago

communication, humor, interrupt, interruption, me, overhear, please, sarcasm, social, something, trying, witty
A penguin is a bird the way a hot dog is a sandwich.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, bird, comparison, dog, food, food comparison, hot, hot dog, humor, penguin, sandwich
There’s a great new book on minimalism but I only read the blurb because I believe that’s what the author would want.

0

2 months ago

author, believe, blurb, book, great, humor, i, irony, minimalism, new, read, reading, sarcasm, want
I got all my marriage skills from watching Al Bundy.

0

2 months ago

al, Al Bundy, bundy, comedy, humor, i, marriage, relationships, skills, television, watching
Do crabs underwater think that fishes fly?

0

2 months ago

animals, crab, curiosity, fish, fly, funny question, humor, perspective, question, think, thought, underwater
The quality of clothing at retail stores today is quite literally the quality that Halloween costumes used to be.

0

3 weeks ago

clothing, comparison, costume, fashion, Halloween, Halloween costume, humor, literally, quality, retail, retail store, shopping, store, stores, today, used

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on Facebook this month:

I love wearing sunglasses. Am I looking at your face? Am I looking at your ass? No one knows.

75 shares on Slack this month:

If paying a cashier a living wage will make prices go up, why doesn’t replacing cashiers with self-checkouts make prices go down?

92 shares on Messenger this month:

Just because your parents planned you doesn’t mean you weren’t a mistake.

73 shares on TikTok this month:

Sorry, I didn’t text back. I don’t like talking to people anymore.

61 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Not gonna lie, I just assume everyone is AI now.

41 shares on Threads this month:

Some people spend a fortune so they can circle the world. I drink some beer and the world circles around me.

23 shares on Discord this month:

You know it’s bad when people start telling you that you are the strongest person they’ve ever met.

25 shares on Twitch this month:

People really be like, “I would never do that to you,” and then do it with a remix.

43 shares on Telegram this month:

The future is buffering.

63 shares on YouTube this month:

Me liking your post is the equivalent of an angel kissing your forehead.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

Men who tell their woman she’s pretty, for no particular reason, keep that shit up.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

I want him in ways that are deeply deeply upsetting to modern feminism.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

The worst part about getting sucked up by the tornado you’re filming is to die knowing your wife was right. You are an idiot.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

“You changed!” Yeah, I thought three days in the same outfit was kinda pushing it.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Can someone write me a note to get out of being a responsible adult?

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Deleting tweets like a writer who burns his manuscripts.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

The nicest thing I’ve done for a date is turn up.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

75% of being a divorce lawyer is just answering emails from clients saying, “No. No. No. You absolutely cannot do that, no.”

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

I found a box of VHS tapes. I’m a bit nervous about the one that has the label torn off.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Can’t, I’m raging against the machine.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via TikTok:

Good things happen when you smile or when you’re naked.

Trending via Reddit:

World domination? I don’t even want to be responsible for myself.

Breaking via Snapchat:

One day you’ll find someone obsessed with you. It’s probably going to be a squirrel.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I love airports because the rules of society don’t apply. Eat a pizza and have a glass of wine at 7 am while in track pants. Nobody cares.

Just landed via Instagram:

That one person who has zero concept of what an indoor voice is.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Sports bars exist. There should be bars for monitoring the situation.

Seen just now on Discord:

Asserting dominance by starting all my private DMs with “I hope this DM finds you well.

Trending via Instagram:

I never thought I would say this, and it took me a while to come to terms, but I think I ate too much bacon.

Just landed via Pinterest:

God, never seen San Francisco this bad. Spiderwebs completely covering entire business, skeletons just strewn about sidewalks in every neighborhood. Things have got to change!

Going bananas on Telegram:

I’m not well rested. Sleeping Beauty was well rested.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

It’s strange being the same age as old people.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Please don’t interrupt me when I’m trying to overhear something.

A penguin is a bird the way a hot dog is a sandwich.

There’s a great new book on minimalism but I only read the blurb because I believe that’s what the author would want.

I got all my marriage skills from watching Al Bundy.

Do crabs underwater think that fishes fly?

The quality of clothing at retail stores today is quite literally the quality that Halloween costumes used to be.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨