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Commentary:
"Who needs traditional Christmas movies when you've got Baby Jesus getting into the action with Die Hard? 🍿🎄 Talk about taking 'keeping an eye on things' to a whole new level! 😂"

baby, baby Jesus, Christmas, die, Die Hard, family, film, hard, holiday, humor, Jesus, Nativity, scene, tradition, TV, watch

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

They should invent a second airport for people who have been in public before.

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2 months ago

airport, anxiety, before, humor, introvert, invent, invention, people, public, second, should, social, social anxiety, travel
Men want to meet up too easily. What if I plan to sacrifice you?

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2 weeks ago

dating, easily, humor, i, joke, meet, meet up, men, plan, relationship, sacrifice, too, want, warning
If you ever go backpacking in the wilderness, be sure to wear corduroy pants, so you can start a fire if needed.

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2 months ago

adventure, backpacking, corduroy, ever, fire, humor, outdoor, pants, start, sure, wear, wilderness
I want to text this person, but I need to have shame and self-respect.

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5 months ago

anxiety, communication, hesitation, humor, i, need, person, self-respect, shame, social, social anxiety, text, texting, want
You can always tell it’s Monday because nobody’s smiling.

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2 months ago

always, attitude, humor, Monday, mood, smile, smiling, tell, weekday, work
I used to think “9 to 5” means a job from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.

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2 days ago

5, 9, am, humor, i, job, means, misunderstanding, think, time, used, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on Twitch this month:

Anyone who thinks being a pessimist isn’t any fun fails to appreciate the joy of saying, ‘I told you so.’

39 shares on WeChat this month:

Do y’all watch the results come or do you go to bed and wait to see what Democracy Claus left you in the morning?

80 shares on WeChat this month:

Being a goldfish must be brilliant. Every six seconds you’re pleasantly surprised to find that you live in a castle.

15 shares on Messenger this month:

“It’s the most wonderful crime of the year!” I crooned running away with the pot of Santa’s donations.

71 shares on TikTok this month:

Tiime isn’t on my side, it’s on my face, wrinkling my forehead.

55 shares on Snapchat this month:

Unknown numbers will call me, then expect me to talk first. Welcome to the breathing competition.

13 shares on YouTube this month:

Not gonna lie, toddlers absolutely nailed it with naps, buttered noodles, and rejecting authority.

77 shares on Reddit this month:

There’s something so spiritual about new life. When I look my baby nephew in the eyes, I can’t stop thinking about how amazing it will be to connect with him on LinkedIn.

55 shares on Telegram this month:

Being alone is my favourite way of being.

20 shares on WeChat this month:

I wanna become so financially stable that God uses my pockets to bless others.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Everyone is gangster until they’re asked to reveal a “fun fact” about themself as part of a work event icebreaker.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

Is there an app yet that converts voice messages into text messages?

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Penguins are just ducks going to a wedding.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

I’m at the age where drinking a cup of coffee now makes me feel like Popeye scarfing down a can of spinach.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Some days you feel like a hotel light. You’re there, but you don’t have enough energy to really do anything.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

All arguments are solvable. The trick? Get naked.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

I just want everyone to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

I hope this email keeps you awake at night.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

At my age, this “microsleep” can sometimes last hours.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

I don’t need to bring anything to a knife fight, because I don’t go to knife fights.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

Some people come into your life to remind you why you don’t wanna let anyone into your life.

Going bananas on Discord:

Waffles are just pancakes with convenient boxes to hold your syrup.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Raise your hand if you’ve ever tried to breathe quieter while walking up a hill so strangers didn’t call 911.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I don’t need a recipe for disaster. I usually just eyeball it.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Given the amount of clowns around here, you’d think it would be more entertaining.

Spotted on X:

Quickie so fast, it’s called secs.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Food gives you energy to nap more.

Spotted on Messenger:

Me: “I’m still young.” My bones: “No, we not.”

Broadcasted on TikTok:

People keep wishing January was over like the worst month of the year isn’t coming up next. Thats like wishing someone would stop arguing with you and just punch you in the face.

Shared recently on Threads:

This is your sign to cancel all work meetings today.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’ve got the nativity scene facing the TV, so baby Jesus can watch “Die Hard.”

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

They should invent a second airport for people who have been in public before.

Men want to meet up too easily. What if I plan to sacrifice you?

If you ever go backpacking in the wilderness, be sure to wear corduroy pants, so you can start a fire if needed.

I want to text this person, but I need to have shame and self-respect.

You can always tell it’s Monday because nobody’s smiling.

I used to think “9 to 5” means a job from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨