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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Why do my kids have Veteran’s Day off, they haven’t done shit.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

A real smart TV would increase the volume when you start eating chips.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Halloween is cool, but nothing is spookier than my previous choices in men.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

I see people my age out there climbing mountains and skydiving, and here I am feeling good about myself because I got my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

This cop is parked illegally behind me with his lights on. I’m going to say something.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Nobody told me that when you get a husband the ears are sold separately.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

Why would I work from home when I don’t even work from work?

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

The Bible is 100% accurate when thrown at close range.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

In hell, you wait for a ‘verify your email address’ email that never arrives.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

A person’s character can be read quite reliably from the way he or she interacts with service personnel.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2017 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,179

Funny Quotes Topics

14,934

Funny Quotes Images

12,179

46 seconds ago

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

Play the long game? You mean Monopoly?

Just shared via WeChat:

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, sleeping for work, getting ready for work, or thinking about work.

Trending via WhatsApp:

You can tell it’s laundry day because I’m wearing flippers and a Viking helmet.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

According to my kids’ Christmas lists, they think this parenting gig pays pretty well.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I had a dream about you. You were stupid there, too.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Weird how I can’t seem to reach anything at the grocery store when hot men are around.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

That odd feeling when your lunch break is over and you still have to work for another 30 years.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I did vote once but only because I thought the line was to a buffet.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

If you have a Roomba, but don’t dress it up in little outfits, then what are you even doing?

Just shared via Discord:

Does anyone know the password to my work computer? Or how to do my job?

I’ve had so much tea trying to get rid of this cold that I’m now speaking with a British accent and am fascinated with the Royal family.

6 months ago

I’ve had so much tea trying to get rid of this cold that I’m now speaking with a British accent and am fascinated with the Royal family.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like the only cure for a cold is a heavy dose of tea and a sprinkle of British charm! 🍵🇬🇧 Who knew a sore throat could make you start curtsying to inanimate objects and asking for crumpets? Let's hope the Queen doesn't invite you for high tea anytime soon!" 😄👑

accent, am, British, British accent, cold, culture, family, fascination, health, humor, much, rid, royal, royal family, speaking, stereotypes, tea, trying

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2017 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,179

Funny Quotes Topics

14,934

Funny Quotes Images

12,179

46 seconds ago

3,450

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Eleven out of ten people are stupid.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

I briefly stepped away from social media to get an idea of what else is going on in the world. For instance, I didn’t realize I was still married.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

Pilot is one of the few jobs where you can get fired for going above and beyond.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

I used to think that the older you get, the wiser and more self-confident you become. I now know that you just get tired more quickly.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

I don’t care if my parents are disappointed in me, I’m not impressed by them either.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Forgot my glasses, so I’m pointing at a random spot on the menu and hoping for the best.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Doing my bit for the evolution of the human race by eating lots of carbs and never exercising. We will adapt!

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

I can’t finish cleaning up my room because I get distracted by all of the cool stuff I find.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

I hope this email finds you in a well.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

If you pretend you’re erasing the evidence of a murder while cleaning the bathroom, you’ll do a better job, and it actually becomes fun!

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

I’m convinced a lot of people online are communicating from prison.

Going viral on Discord:

World domination? I don’t even want to be responsible for myself.

Live now on Snapchat:

So I used to wonder about people that paid a fortune for those little bottles of Evian water, until I read it backwards.

Just shared via TikTok:

Horoscope: Many good things are in store for you! Unfortunately, the store is closed for repairs.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

People acting all happy and energized first thing in the morning. Chill out! You aren’t a Teletubby.

Just landed via Twitch:

Love is not pushing them down the stairs when you have the opportunity.

Trending via Discord:

My kid asked me if I’ve ever experienced hallucinations, which is an odd thing to ask considering I don’t have any kids.

Spotted on Instagram:

What part of “hiii” do you not get? I’m in love with you.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Stealing hoodies is for amateurs. Steal his car like a real woman.

Seen just now on X:

The web is a great place to befriend people who you’d never let in your house.

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