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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Tonight, the moon is staring at me.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

I love when someone is telling a story and you can tell even from their version that they’re the villain.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

I love people who are fluent in Spongebob references.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Might lay here until someone draws my chalk outline.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Too poor for Ozempic but too undisciplined for strict diet and exercise. Is there a secret third option?

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

I think I’ll just sit here and waste oxygen all day.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

There are approximately 1,010,300 words in the English language, but I could never string enough words together to properly express how much I want to hit you with a chair.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

You know you’re over 40 when you clean your house to the music you used to get drunk to.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Grammar is the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you’re shit.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

I heard God is testing both of us at the same time. Wanna hang out?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,389

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

I have a photographic memory, but I’ve run out of film.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I eat cake every day because somewhere out there it’s someone’s birthday and I like to celebrate.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I like my men like I like my coffee. Not that hot but still making me anxious.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I exaggerated on my job application and said I wanted to work for a living.

Just shared via Discord:

Thank you all for attending my final rose ceremony. There will be no roses.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Don’t fall for me — I’ll treat you right, and you’ll get bored and cheat.

Seen just now on Discord:

Might mess around and reply to all work emails with “make me”.

Live now on WeChat:

I will never fall victim to groupthink. I have perfectly unique opinions that no one else has, and they are the dumbest nonsense you’ve ever heard.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Ain’t no girls in my messages, just a bunch of verification codes.

Going viral on Telegram:

I need to stop saying “Oppa Gagnam Style!” to fill in awkward pauses in conversation.

I’ve had so much tea trying to get rid of this cold that I’m now speaking with a British accent and am fascinated with the Royal family.

2 months ago

0

I’ve had so much tea trying to get rid of this cold that I’m now speaking with a British accent and am fascinated with the Royal family.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like the only cure for a cold is a heavy dose of tea and a sprinkle of British charm! 🍵🇬🇧 Who knew a sore throat could make you start curtsying to inanimate objects and asking for crumpets? Let's hope the Queen doesn't invite you for high tea anytime soon!" 😄👑

accent, am, British, British accent, cold, culture, family, fascination, health, humor, much, rid, royal, royal family, speaking, stereotypes, tea, trying

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Your woman will take 2 hours to get ready, but if you don’t have your shoes on when she is ready, you’re the problem.

0

2 months ago

2, hours, humor, problem, ready, relationship, sh, take, time, woman
It ain’t easy being America’s sweetheart during these dark times, but someone gotta do it!

0

5 months ago

America, being, challenge, dark, dark time, easy, humor, responsibility, someone, sweetheart, time, times
If my neighbors would just talk a little louder I could follow along with their conversation, but no. Rude.

0

2 months ago

conversation, eavesdrop, follow, humor, interaction, just, loud, neighbor, rude, social, social interaction, talk
Is ‘ugh’ an emotion? Because I fell it all the time.

0

2 months ago

emotion, everyday, everyday life, feeling, frustration, humor, i, life, relatable, time, ugh
The thief who stole my iPhone could face time.

0

2 months ago

face, Facetime, humor, iPhone, joke, pun, steal, stole, technology, thief, time
Yeah, sex is great, but have you ever checked your bank account and had way more money than you expected.

0

2 months ago

account, bank, bank account, ever, financial, financial joy, great, humor, joy, money, sex, surprise

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on Pinterest this month:

You don’t need fun to have alcohol.

49 shares on WhatsApp this month:

How do you react when you see someone you respect on an e-scooter?

69 shares on Discord this month:

Dear ghosts, if you can move stuff around and flicker lights, then you can use a mop.

21 shares on TikTok this month:

Hardest part of beekeeping is thinking of all the names.

100 shares on YouTube this month:

Applied for an internship to gain experience and got rejected because I didn’t have relevant experience.

35 shares on WeChat this month:

Sorry, can’t. Calling NASA and making alien noises.

32 shares on Telegram this month:

Please solve a murder to prove you’re not a bot.

13 shares on Instagram this month:

The amount of family secrets you uncover as you get older is wild.

48 shares on WeChat this month:

Zelda was easier as a kid because if you hit a hard puzzle, you could just wait a few days for more brain matter to come in, but now it’s the opposite.

21 shares on Telegram this month:

Black Friday used to have heart. I wanna see someone get clocked for a Wii.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it three four times, you know, just to be sure!

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Told my girlfriend that Mum is deaf, so speak loud and slow. Also told Mum that my girlfriend has special needs.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

A bad relationship can ruin a good song.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m a kid at heart and a senior citizen at my knees and back.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The secret to a clean home? Never let your husband or children in.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Have you ever been so stressed that you’re calm?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Was in a bookshop and asked a worker if he could recommend books to me. He said, ‘Sure, they’re great.’

19 folks are currently checking 👀

If you voted for someone because “he’s not a politician”, then I hope your next colonoscopy is done by a plumber.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter is evidence that insane people can be extremely entertaining from a safe distance.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If stores want to accurately display clothes for people over 40, the mannequins should be laying on a couch.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,532

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Dating outside of your education bracket leads to misunderstandings and arguments.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

Haven’t seen a single bikini photoshoot in the snow this year; the girls are tired.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

The worst thing I’ve seen as a paramedic is my paycheck.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

I’m uncomfortable around tall people. What if they pick me up and put me on their shoulders?

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

Me: I love you more than a flower loves the sun. Him: I love you more than a teenager loves his phone.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Insurance is cool because even if you have it, it still kinda feels like you don’t.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

I don’t do anything with my life except romanticize and decay with indecision.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

My cat just knocked over my coffee mug and looked at me like it was my fault. How dare I put it on the edge of the table?

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

I bring a sort of “this isn’t actually urgent” vibe to the workplace that managers don’t like.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Blocking someone isn’t enough; I need their PornHub videos to always buffer, just as they’re about to climax.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

New email opener just dropped: “I am interested in bothering you!”

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Good morning everyone, who feels like working today? I promise I’ll let you do my job.

Spotted on Instagram:

I was really happy about it being Friday until I realized it was only Wednesday.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Every day when I get home, I thank my cats for allowing me to live in their house.

Just landed via Messenger:

Am simultaneously the family’s black sheep and gold star, and that’s exactly why I’m the way I am.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

If you fall asleep long enough, the steering wheel gives you a pillow.

Trending via Threads:

Sorry for widening my eyes and whispering “The prophecy” when we first met.

Just landed via X:

I rode around the block on my bike for the first time in years and now I understand why Lance Armstrong took performance enhancing drugs.

Spotted on YouTube:

Not gonna lie, toddlers absolutely nailed it with naps, buttered noodles, and rejecting authority.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I’d like to meet the person who decided that if you wanted to get married fast, it had to be done by Elvis.

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