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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ช has shared:

British people be like “It’s Chewsday, innit?”

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has bookmarked:

I hate starting new relationships. I gotta act like I ainโ€™t crazy for two months.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ผ has downloaded:

It’s so embarrassing when you make a silly face at a baby, and they do not care at all.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ด has viewed:

Maybe hot chocolate wants to be called beautiful chocolate at least one time.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡พ has copied:

I haven’t been with anyone in 3 years. I feel sorry for my next boyfriend. He might not make it through the day.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has downloaded:

Non-parents be like: I would simply instruct the toddler to do something he doesn’t want to do, and he would obey.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡น has downloaded:

Stress in private, complain on Twitter, happy in public.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡ธ has downloaded:

A bridesmaid, but to carry the end of my CVS receipt.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ฌ has bookmarked:

Please solve a murder to prove you’re not a bot.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ท has copied:

If you ever get attacked by a shark, just be a good sport about it and let it eat you. Hey, look on the bright side: Itโ€™s a rare occurrence, so youโ€™re special.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,561

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Broadcasted on Telegram:

My parents still haven’t apologized for making me ugly.

Spotted on Reddit:

That song stuck in my head is โ€œDonโ€™t Speakโ€; I have no doubt in my mind.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I be like โ€œcommunication is the keyโ€ then put my phone on do not disturb.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Most venomous snakes just make “Tsssss”. But I know some that say “Hi”.

Trending via Messenger:

If I ever had to fight a bear, I hope itโ€™s a gummy bear.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I donโ€™t have a five-year plan because every two years I realize I need a different life.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Just blocked all the normal people, so if you see thisโ€ฆ sup, weirdo.

Breaking via Messenger:

The only thing smart about you is your wisdom tooth.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Itโ€™s like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a Like.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

If you call me โ€œdaddyโ€ in bed, I will immediately stop what we are doing and make you clean your room.

I’ve just told my doctor I have all the Monkey Pox symptoms. He asked me to swing by tomorrow.

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Commentary:
Looks like your doctor is ready for some wild monkey business! ๐Ÿ’ Just swing on by and show him your best monkey impression! Who knew healthcare could be this entertaining? ๐Ÿคฃ #MonkeyingAround

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Social Media Stars โญ

28 shares on TikTok this month:

The most refreshing way to fight your personal demons is to make demonade.

49 shares on Discord this month:

Sorry about all of the correct stuff I said when I was right.

90 shares on Pinterest this month:

Taylor Swift is a psyop designed to get my wife to hum little tunes here and there.

25 shares on Pinterest this month:

You don’t get to comment on the world until you’ve made your bed.

99 shares on Telegram this month:

How does one stop eating ice cream when thereโ€™s still some in the container?

67 shares on Reddit this month:

Ok, hear me out: a reality show where billionaire CEOs have to live off of their lowest-paid employees’ salaries for a month.

56 shares on Snapchat this month:

Polar lights: when the sky forgets it’s supposed to be boring.

72 shares on Messenger this month:

My ducks are not even remotely in a row. My ducks are in places no duck has ever gone before.

46 shares on Telegram this month:

Imagine hating me and Iโ€™m just over here doing an epic air-drum solo to โ€˜In The Air Tonightโ€™.

48 shares on YouTube this month:

25 is the new 0 years old.

Trending Topics ๐Ÿ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes ๐Ÿ’ฅ

25 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

My parents think they know me.

7 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

My therapist said I should face my fears. So I turned my phone back on.

6 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Being an adult is when you ask the babysitter when you should be home.

7 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I like listening to music in languages I donโ€™t speak because sometimes I just donโ€™t wanna know what anybody is talking about.

19 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

So we have actual fact checkers who know all the facts? Why not create a TV channel where they just give us the facts? We could call it the News.

14 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

At this point, if I get picked up by aliens, I’m just gonna go ahead and consider it a rescue mission instead of an abduction.

10 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Manipulative birthday text to an ex idea: thank you for loving me briefly in the way that only you could.

13 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Iโ€™d like to shrink you down and add you to my keychain.

24 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Everything will kill you so pick something fun.

25 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I grew up in a really small town. The closest thing we had to food delivery was someone egging your house.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

calculatingโ€ฆ

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,304

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has copied:

December. A desperate celebration of an end.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has copied:

If you ever need me, Iโ€™m always just a couple missed calls and text messages away.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ถ has viewed:

Just stay single, yโ€™allโ€ฆ Iโ€™m here apologizing for taking a nap.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has shared:

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡พ has downloaded:

Just got revenge on someone who wronged me many, many years ago. Never relax, I’m coming.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has bookmarked:

When animals lead you to a place, itโ€™s so cuteโ€ฆ like, yes, Iโ€™m still following. Thank you for constantly turning around to make sure.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ท has copied:

Porn is free, so why are you in my DMs?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฌ has copied:

Why do parents bust in your room like they trying to catch you cheating on them with another pair of parents or something?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ท has viewed:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but that much caffeine can’t be good for you.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ฐ has bookmarked:

Before I die, Iโ€™m going to arrange for a friend to take my phone, and after the funeral, text everybody to say โ€œthanks for comingโ€ and other assorted messages of appreciation.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Shared recently on Facebook:

We’re living in increasingly unfergalicious times.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Do animals have celebrities? Like, do birds all recognize that one bird who sings really well?

Just shared via X:

If it weren’t for the last minute, I’d never do anything.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

We should be able take jets and tanks and stuff whenever we want, we paid for them.

Spotted on Discord:

Getting the house to yourself for a night is basically winning the lottery.

Making waves on YouTube:

Every room can be a room with a view when I’m in it.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

They should invent a self-checkout where someone else scans the items and puts them in a bag.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I have a question and my question is, how can I look so cute in the mirror but like such a baked potato in pictures?

Spotted on Snapchat:

If every day is a gift, today is socks.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I want the job where I push scared skydivers out of planes.

ยฉ 2026. All rights reserved.

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