Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, you’re drunk. Ducks don’t talk.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

I’m brave but not “order something different from the restaurant menu” kind of brave.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

I bet whenever a pilot drives a car there’s a brief moment of panic like “why isn’t it going up?”

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

Bro, you’re fine. You just need an impossible sequence of events to play out in perfect order against all odds and you’ll be fine.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

I’m proud of myself because, despite having so many expenses, I still manage to add more.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Tariff this, tariff that. When is somebody gonna tariff my clothes and kiss me?

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Cooking with glasses on is so humiliating. Why did I just get blinded by steam?

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

My acting reel includes clips of me “listening” during Zoom meetings.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

“I can’t wait to go back to bed tonight!” Me, 5 minutes after waking up.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

Google Maps should not count towards my screen time. I’m not addicted to my phone, I’m disoriented.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,691

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I regret to inform you that we must all once again figure out what to make for dinner tonight.

Breaking via TikTok:

The quality of clothing at retail stores today is quite literally the quality that Halloween costumes used to be.

Trending via Reddit:

A more accurate description would be ‘The Darker Web’.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I don’t get why banks tie pens with strings. We trust them with money, but they can’t trust us with a single pen.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

The last time I said I wanted to try missionary, she sent me to a remote village in Africa.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

“I’m just a girl!” No, you are a monster.

Making waves on Snapchat:

This entire month could’ve been an email.

Going bananas on X:

Sometimes I’ll call in, disguise my voice, and insist on speaking to me, or I’ll take my business elsewhere.

Trending via Reddit:

Every girl is defined by their one lost love. And by that I mean the one fast food item that was discontinued without warning, subsequently ruining their life.

Just shared via Instagram:

I am officially at the age where old people think I am young and young people think I am old.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: you either have a naked window neighbor or you are the naked window neighbor.

2 months ago

0

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: you either have a naked window neighbor or you are the naked window neighbor.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Living in a constant game of peek-a-boo! 👀🪟 It's like panoramic reality TV with a hint of surprise. 🪞 Who needs curtains anyways? 🚫🛏️ #NakedWindowNeighbor"

again, before, humor, life, naked, neighbor, observation, say, window

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Hello, hi. Don’t invite me anywhere until next year. The money is finished. Regards.

0

4 months ago

anywhere, financial, financial struggle, finished, greeting, hello, hi, holiday, holiday planning, humor, invitation, invite, me, money, next, planning, procrastination, struggle, year
Me in hell: “So did it hurt when you fell from heaven.” Lucifer: “Get out!”

0

1 month ago

fall, heaven, hell, humor, hurt, joke, line, Lucifer, me, pickup, pickup line
When planning dinner, remember that ice-cream has both calcium and protein.

0

2 months ago

calcium, dinner, food, food humor, humor, ice cream, meal, meal planning, nutrition, planning, protein, remember
If onion powder is dehydrated onions blitzed into powder, how much onion powder would I need to consume to have eaten a whole onion?

0

15 hours ago

cooking, dehydration, eaten, food, food question, food science, humor, i, measurement, much, need, onion, onion powder, onions, powder, question, science, whole
If you’re lost in the woods, start talking loudly about politics. Someone will come to argue with you.

0

2 months ago

argue, conversation, humor, lost, loud, politics, someone, start, survival, talking, woods
Yeah, no worries, man. You just showed everyone that you have a lot of resentments bubbling underneath, but otherwise, it was a cool evening.

0

2 months ago

cool, cool evening, emotional, emotional tension, evening, everyone, humor, interaction, irony, just, lot, man, otherwise, resentment, sarcasm, social, social interaction, tension

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on Threads this month:

Girls these days are like a box of chocolates. Some have nuts.

98 shares on Snapchat this month:

Don’t underestimate your white tee and denim jeans.

96 shares on Instagram this month:

I love making the whole conversation so awkward that the most anyone can say after is “so yeah…”

37 shares on Discord this month:

“I hate small talk!” Oh okay. Do you think all your grandparents are going to heaven?

17 shares on Reddit this month:

Instagram should let you extend the run of one story for another 24 hours if the intended target didn’t see it.

84 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Instead of making a sound, car alarms that go off at night should blast your name so everyone knows it’s your car.

34 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I don’t know why “you made your bed now lie in it” is a bad thing. It sounds great! I’ll even lie in a bed I didn’t make.

58 shares on Pinterest this month:

Started the year single. Ending the year single. Consistency is key.

33 shares on TikTok this month:

I want time to watch more films, but I also want time to read more books, but I also want time to look at more nothing.

51 shares on Pinterest this month:

If I win the lottery, I’m buying four politicians and some really nice shoes.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Wait, some of you are actually seeing for free? No glasses, no contacts? Wow!

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t get treadmills, I mean if I walk I better reach somewhere.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing tests your patience like a group chat blowing up your phone.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

When someone asks why you don’t have kids just say “dingoes”.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I deleted Google when I met you because the search was over.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

My boss denied me a raise before my shift today. What’s some music you have never wanted to hear in a coffee shop?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

What if aliens watch our movies about aliens and then invade accordingly in hopes of fitting in with our culture?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Some things are better left unsaid, unless you’re on X.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That’s like 7 years in a row now.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I know it’s traditional to start work at 9, but I think we could lower that age to 8.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,450

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

I hate when my cat runs into my bedroom and hisses at an empty chair, then runs back out again; and I then have to fall asleep holding a crucifix.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

I followed my heart. It led me to the fridge.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

If I was on Love Island, I would get wasted and drown in the pool, altering the course of every contestant’s life forever.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

When they know you know they did you dirty, they stay gone. And that’s the best thing.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

You’re a “haha” girl, and I’m an “lol” guy. It just wouldn’t work.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

At bedtime, I ceremonially move the claw clip from my hair to the bag of chips, signifying the end of the day.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

My New Year’s resolution is to procrastinate. I’Il start tomorrow.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

“It is what it is,” I say, not really knowing what it actually is.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Why would I work from home when I don’t even work from work?

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

I think more people would actually heal from their trauma if they got revenge.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

Stop blaming everyone for your problems. Pick one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

Spotted on Reddit:

I slept for 11 hours last night, just wanted everyone with kids to know that.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Concert tickets should be 75% off if the artist is really super special to you.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I don’t need the audio tour at the museum, I have my teen to provide critical commentary the entire time.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

If my dog knew how many photos I have of him sleeping, he’d file a restraining order against me.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Having siblings is so important because you learn the exact amount you can annoy someone before they try to physically kill you.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Are cassette tapes considered classical music yet?

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Imagine thinking you have any clue what’s going on.

Spotted on YouTube:

I’m not worried about shattering the illusion, I want to smash it to pieces.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Imagine being in the Trojan horse with the lads, pure darkness and giggling like hehehe

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴