Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Ah, the envy we feel towards our phones for having the luxury of a sudden 'death' and a brief escape from the constant notifications and demands of our modern world. If only we could also switch off so effortlessly and unapologetically!"

break, die, humor, jealousy, just, phone, rest, technology

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If sex was real, I think I would’ve had it by now.

1 month ago

dating, humor, i, real, relationship, sarcasm, sex, think
I hate when flies rub their disgusting little hands together. What could you possibly be plotting? You can’t even get out of the open window.

1 month ago

annoyance, disgusting, even, fly, hands, hate, humor, i, insect, little, open, plotting, rub, together, window
I always sit in the middle stall so I have a bathroom buddy.

1 month ago

always, bathroom, buddy, companionship, humor, i, middle, sit, social, stall
The Gen Z stare. The millennial pause. Instead, let’s talk about the boomer inappropriate personal question.

5 months ago

boomer, gen, Gen Z, generation, humor, inappropriate, inappropriate question, millennial, pause, personal, personal question, question, stare, talk, z
When I get married, I want my wedding video to be filmed like it’s an episode of The Office. I want camera zooms, eye contact, side commentary— all of it.

1 month ago

camera, camera zoom, commentary, contact, episode, eye, eye contact, humor, i, marriage, married, office, side, style, The Office, video, video style, want, wedding, wedding video, Zoom
If you’re gonna spend so much time in my head, would it kill you to tidy up a bit?

1 month ago

bit, clean, head, humor, kill, mind, much, spend, thoughts, tidy, time

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

I am at the age where I question throwing away a box because, “It’s a really nice box.”

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Autocorrect changed ‘are you around?’ to ‘are you aroused?’ and my buddy didn’t want to hang out today.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

I don’t do “casual.” I’m like an 18th-century vampire. When I fall in love, my devotion is boundless and eternal.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Dear resealable chocolate bag, your confidence in my self-control was truly inspiring. And you were delicious.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

The web is a great place to befriend people who you’d never let in your house.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

The best part about Smarties is pouring them into an empty prescription bottle and shaking them all into my mouth while waiting in line.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Even if you like anime, you gotta still wear deodorant, man.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

The paintings I always like the most in museums are the ones that have a bench.

Going viral on Instagram:

Mood to play music louder than my thoughts.

Seen just now on Telegram:

“Hey you!” is short for “I have no idea what your name is.”

Trending via Slack:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but throw away your disgusting dish sponge.

Just shared via Messenger:

I installed a bike rack on my car so my neighbors think I do something else besides drink.

Just landed via WeChat:

Damn girl, are you a plate of microwaved leftovers? Because you’re hot on the outside and cold on the inside.

Just shared via WeChat:

Her heart is a combination of wildflowers and wildfires, delicate, yet so fierce.

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Activity Log ✨

Jealous that my phone can just die for a little while.

If sex was real, I think I would’ve had it by now.

I hate when flies rub their disgusting little hands together. What could you possibly be plotting? You can’t even get out of the open window.

The Gen Z stare. The millennial pause. Instead, let’s talk about the boomer inappropriate personal question.

When I get married, I want my wedding video to be filmed like it’s an episode of The Office. I want camera zooms, eye contact, side commentary— all of it.

If you’re gonna spend so much time in my head, would it kill you to tidy up a bit?

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Dear algorithm, please show this post only to people who have innate psionic abilities and would use their abilities for the betterment of humanity if given a chance.

Everyone thinks they won’t be that couple that goes from ‘everything you do is a turn-on’ to ‘you’re breathing too loud,’ but they will be, oh, they will be.

First time buying fireworks, and I wasn’t sure I’d picked the right ones until the salesman gave me a wink and high-foured me.

Amazon cart: Order now and it will arrive today. Amazon confirmation email: LOL, just kidding, it’ll be a week from tomorrow.

The shitshow must go on.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Why make new mistakes when you can keep repeating the same old familiar ones.

Guilty pleasure? Why would I ever feel guilty about pleasure.

Cheesecake dislikers are attention seekers.

This meeting could have been a cave painting.

Honestly, will never top the year I told everyone I was going to be Amelia Earhart for Halloween, and then didn’t show up to the party.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

After having a week off, my boss returns to work today. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.

A lobotomy and a forehead kiss would fix everything.

That pen in the junk drawer that hasn’t been used in four years picked today to have an attitude.

I think God was high when he made me.

Sexting is hilarious, when you think about it. Like, this email truly should’ve been a meeting.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

You couldn’t pay me to do this year again.

When I grow up, I’d like to be a retired lottery winner.

Addicted to bad posture like why is it so comfortable to sit like a cooked shrimp.

The people who are $30 trillion in debt are giving you a credit score.

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Jealous that my phone can just die for a little while.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

If sex was real, I think I would’ve had it by now.

I hate when flies rub their disgusting little hands together. What could you possibly be plotting? You can’t even get out of the open window.

I always sit in the middle stall so I have a bathroom buddy.

The Gen Z stare. The millennial pause. Instead, let’s talk about the boomer inappropriate personal question.

When I get married, I want my wedding video to be filmed like it’s an episode of The Office. I want camera zooms, eye contact, side commentary— all of it.

If you’re gonna spend so much time in my head, would it kill you to tidy up a bit?

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

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