Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Just got my test results back and my cholesterol level is a cheese bratwurst.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

“I’m disgusted by how many of you still use Spotify. I use a fair trade, ethically conscientious mom-and-pop platform called Apple Music.”

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

My favorite part of socializing is when it’s over.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

With age comes wisdom. And digestive trouble.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

This economy requires two hustlers working together – not a hustler and a leech. It’s too expensive to be out here carrying dead weight.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Good morning to everyone except the people who are missing the ability to read the room.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

I hear the responses my young siblings give my mom, and I’m speechless; they don’t know the commando she was in her prime.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

How much longer do we have to keep pretending that Pilates isn’t a sex thing?

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

It’s important to get out of the house every once in a while to get excited about going home.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

The recipe I’m making specifically says allow to cook undisturbed, and yet my whole family is standing in the kitchen.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Jan 6, 2026

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

If I’d married a wealthier man, I’d be lying on a fancier couch right now refusing to clean bigger rooms.

Spreading quickly via X:

It’s important to get out of the house every once in a while to get excited about going home.

Just shared via WeChat:

If I was a priest, I’d make my side of the confession booth really big so I could run around.

Just landed via Instagram:

Kids don’t love anything as much as they love arguing with each other.

Making waves on WeChat:

Running to the boarding gate is my favorite workout.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Someone asked me how much I spend on a bottle of wine. 30 minutes was not the right answer.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Dear autocorrect, that’s not what I was trying to say. I’m getting tired of your shirt.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Do you think Yoda says “7-6” instead?

Just shared via Snapchat:

Everyone is gangster until they’re asked to reveal a “fun fact” about themself as part of a work event icebreaker.

Just landed via Twitch:

Getting mad at your hair is a whole different kind of angry.

Just another day of not being hot and rich.

2 months ago

0

Just another day of not being hot and rich.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the joys of being fabulously average yet financially challenged! 💁‍♂️💸 Everyday is a reminder that I am neither a supermodel nor a millionaire. Oh well, at least I've got my charm and sense of humor to compensate! 😄 #LivingTheDream"

aspiration, being, day, hot, humor, just, reality, rich, self-deprecation

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m at the age where I understand that paying a little extra for convenience and comfort is absolutely okay.

0

2 months ago

absolutely, age, comfort, convenience, extra, i, little, maturity, okay, paying, payment, spending, understand, where
If I were a bird, I know who I’d poop on.

0

2 months ago

bird, humor, i, ID, know, playful, poop, revenge, sarcasm
I ordered mushrooms on my pizza. When do they kick in?

0

2 months ago

food, humor, i, joke, kick, mushroom, order, pizza
Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.

0

2 months ago

again, dislike, divorce, getting, give, going, house, humor, i, love, marriage, married, relationship, sarcasm, woman
I got a bumper sticker that says, “Honk if you think I’m pretty.” Sometimes I just sit at green lights until I feel better about myself.

0

2 months ago

better, bumper, bumper sticker, confidence, driving, feel, got, green, green light, honk, humor, i, just, light, lights, myself, pretty, self-esteem, sit, sometimes, sticker, think
You know shit’s about to get real when I put on yoga pants before dessert.

0

2 months ago

before, casual, dessert, fitness, food, humor, i, know, pants, put, real, snack, yoga

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on TikTok this month:

Don’t forget to have an orgasm today. Partner is optional. Pleasure is not.

71 shares on Reddit this month:

Do y’all ever get pre-annoyed? Like, you already know someone is about to piss you off.

10 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My husband pissed me off so I wrapped his remote and put it under the tree.

77 shares on Reddit this month:

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a car.

56 shares on Instagram this month:

Not now, babe, it’s my nightly phone enrichment time.

48 shares on Facebook this month:

You’re never alone. There’s mold.

22 shares on Facebook this month:

My superpower is to make anyone I wanna make comfortable feel uncomfortable.

73 shares on Slack this month:

Is it stupid and irresponsible? Yes. Will it make me happy? Also yes.

25 shares on Facebook this month:

I used to question authority, but now I question everything.

32 shares on Instagram this month:

Piñatas are a fun way to intentionally maim the guests at your party.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Smart people are like huskies. If you don’t give them an interesting problem, they become an interesting problem.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

You know it’s cold outside when you go outside and it’s cold.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I feel like a wildlife photographer when I spend hours trying to capture my teenager’s smile.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Unlike smoking, vaping doesn’t reduce your sex drive. It just reduces the sex drive of the people who see you vaping.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I just found out it takes 5 sheep to make one wool sweater. I didn’t even know they knew how to knit.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

She poured the milk before the cereal. It was not meant to be.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Іf Empire Strikes Back isn’t a Christmas movie, then why is there so much snow in it?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If stress burned calories, I’d be a supermodel by now.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t realize how incorrect and annoying YouTube video essays are until they’re about something you like.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Chuck Norris can rub two fires together to get a piece of wood.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,621

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the terms and conditions I do not read.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

When you decorate your whole house for Christmas, what you’re really saying is “I’m not going to dust for at least a month.”

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

If she doesn’t post you, take her phone, go live and introduce yourself!

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Dating is just wondering why someone is single and then slowly figuring it out.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

Most women need a little reassurance. Like when she says “oh, you want to see crazy?” Reassure her that you do not.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

For Christmas, I’d like to figure it all out.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Dating apps aren’t working, time to walk into a cafe looking confused.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Internet strangers offer the best advice.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Forget Spotify Wrapped. How many minutes did you spend listening to your girlfriend this year?

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Spotify should have helpful mental health suggestions like “your top listens are Taylor Swift and true crime, go to therapy.”

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

Everybody looks like a criminal on the self-checkout camera.

Spotted on Discord:

I wanna become so financially stable that God uses my pockets to bless others.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

If an ice cream truck has its music on, are you supposed to pull over and let it pass like an ambulance?

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

The worst is when it’s too late to take a nap but too early to go to bed.

Making waves on Facebook:

You guys know your secrets are safe with me. It’s the people I share them with you can’t trust.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I call my period Shark week. I want to eat everything, I’m snapping at people, I feel huge, people are scared of me, and there is blood everywhere.

Trending via TikTok:

Zombies only eat brains, so you are safe.

Breaking via Twitch:

Polar lights: when the sky forgets it’s supposed to be boring.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I believe it was Aristotle who once said “The fastest way to get your kids to stop screaming is to also start screaming.”

Just shared via Pinterest:

I’m stuck between “I need to save money” and “You only live once.”

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴