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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

People think I’m a minimalist, but I’m just broke.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Someday I’ll learn how to emotion like a proper human.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Horror movies have ruined the joy of skinny-dipping for me.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

And then I thought to myself, “What’s the point of cleaning if my family is going to keep living here?”

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

I only attract psychopaths. If you’ve ever had a crush on me, find a therapist.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Life is just a sequence of missed opportunities.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

My car spider built a web across my steering wheel and now I can’t go anywhere.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

My husband keeps borrowing and losing my tweezers, so I’m naming this chin hair after him.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Shall I cook, clean, or do the grocery shopping? Okay, reading it is.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Nobody cleans better than someone who’s pissed off.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2383 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,545

Funny Quotes Topics

15,226

Funny Quotes Images

12,545

18 minutes ago

3,461

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

Some people are like sunglasses: your day just becomes so much brighter when you accidentally drop them off the side of the boat.

Spotted on Messenger:

I suck at flirting, I end up arguing with them instead.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I was hoping to age like a fine wine, but I sort of feel more like an avocado.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Just realized when I get a partner, that means my family is gonna know that I have feelings.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Eating rice with my hands, but not in a political way. In a lazy, fat guy way.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I used to look for monsters under the bed. Today I know they are behind some people’s fake smiles.

Reported on YouTube:

Imagine being a bald vampire and every time you walk by a mirror your toupée is just floating.

Spotted on X:

People who say that they don’t have time for my bullshit should wake up an hour earlier.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I drink my coffee black because I like to save my calories for alcohol.

Reported on TikTok:

Think like a crazy person, and then you’ll understand.

l identify as a Christmas tree. Lit on the outside, dead on the inside.

6 months ago

l identify as a Christmas tree. Lit on the outside, dead on the inside.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the Christmas tree – the eternal symbol of holiday cheer and existential crisis all rolled into one! 🎄✨ Just remember, even if you're feeling a bit like a withered old pine inside, you can always put on a dazzling light show for the world to see. Shine on, you festive gem! 💫"

Christmas, Christmas tree, dead, holiday, humor, identify, identity, inside, irony, lit, outside, tree

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2383 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,545

Funny Quotes Topics

15,226

Funny Quotes Images

12,545

18 minutes ago

3,442

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Why count sheep when I can count my troubles?

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

I’m at that point in my life where if a car hit me, I’d probably say thank you to the kind stranger.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Called in telepathically this morning, so they know I’m thinking of them.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Life can be so beautiful, you just can’t get sober.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

Men only have money the first month of dating, that’s recruitment budget, never confuse it with operational budget.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

Tattoo idea for men: spider webs in the corners of the receding hairline.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Aura farming in front of old people by not listening to music nor checking my phone.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

I followed a diet but it didn’t follow me back, so I unfollowed it.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

I caught your husband cheating on you at an Alanis concert, and thought you, you, you oughta know.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Lifting my wife’s wedding veil and finding out she’s Darth Maul.

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on YouTube:

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.

Going viral on Facebook:

I love eating fast food and getting big and fat. It’s amazing.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Today is one of those days where I have to remind myself that you’re not allowed to strangle people.

Trending via X:

Love those deep burps that instantly make me feel like I lost 10 lbs.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Out of Office: I am on vacation. Your emails will be forwarded nowhere to be read by no one. Good day.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Justice is a dish best served cold. If it were served warm, it would be justwater.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I know breakfastless behavior when I see it.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I have the sex drive of a potato.

Reported on WhatsApp:

I need to start hiding my money from myself.

Spotted on WeChat:

Dog barking like an angry baby, baby crying like an angry dog.

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