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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Sometimes you choose the GIF-war over your responsibilities.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Who the hell keeps letting it be Monday again?

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Dating someone from Twitter is like believing a stripper loves you.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

So tomorrow is Monday again? I can’t keep living like this.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Coffee ain’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat batteries.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

They call it a coffin because they’re finally coughing up that inheritance.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Tweeting shouldn’t cost money but it should flip you on your back like a bug for 15 minutes.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

I know you miss me. The tarot lady on TikTok just told me.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Sorry I can’t have a pleasant, safe and affordable life, my government said no.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Worst feeling in the world is when you are loyal to all your girlfriends but your favorite one is cheating on you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Jan 5, 2026

3,362

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

The feminine urge to open a coffee shop that’s also a library, a bakery, and a flower shop.

Trending via YouTube:

I feel like a credit card, cause I’m constantly being used irresponsibly.

Just shared via Discord:

Betrayal is when you’re holding a baby, and they put their arms out for someone else.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

The sexual tension between me and vanishing without context is insane.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Why is the Formula 1 so afraid of rain? Just drive with more caution. That’s what I always do when it rains.

Just shared via WeChat:

I now feel I’ve watched enough reruns of The Shawshank Redemption on basic cable that I’ll be able to successfully make it in prison.

Trending via Messenger:

Parent hack: Shut your child’s bedroom door to make your house cleaner.

Breaking via Discord:

In the coffee shop, booing everyone who orders decaf.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Dads hate stopping on road trips because then all of the vehicles they worked hard to pass for the last hour get back ahead of them.

Going viral on Twitch:

Today is one of those days where I have to remind myself that you’re not allowed to strangle people.

l identify as a Christmas tree. Lit on the outside, dead on the inside.

2 months ago

0

l identify as a Christmas tree. Lit on the outside, dead on the inside.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the Christmas tree – the eternal symbol of holiday cheer and existential crisis all rolled into one! 🎄✨ Just remember, even if you're feeling a bit like a withered old pine inside, you can always put on a dazzling light show for the world to see. Shine on, you festive gem! 💫"

Christmas, Christmas tree, dead, holiday, humor, identify, identity, inside, irony, lit, outside, tree

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The nerve of a majority of people I meet being younger than me. How dare them?

0

2 months ago

age, being, dare, generation, humor, i, majority, me, meet, nerve, people, perspective, younger
I want to live in a world where TV sitcoms have catchy theme songs again.

0

2 months ago

again, catchy, catchy song, entertainment, humor, i, live, nostalgia, sitcom, song, songs, television, theme, theme song, TV, TV sitcom, want, where, world
I hope this email keeps you awake at night.

0

2 months ago

awake, email, hope, humor, i, keeps, message, night, sarcasm, sleep, wakefulness
“I can’t wait to go back to bed tonight!” Me, 5 minutes after waking up.

0

2 months ago

back, bed, humor, i, me, minutes, morning, relatable, sleep, tiredness, wait, waking, waking up
As a wife and mother my hobbies include rage cleaning, rage cooking, and rage folding.

0

2 months ago

cleaning, cooking, domestic, domestic life, folding, hobby, humor, life, mother, rage, rage cleaning, rage cooking, rage folding, relief, stress, stress relief, wife
Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

0

2 months ago

argue, argument, beat, conflict, experience, humor, idiot, level, logic, wisdom

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Since you’re all so in love, switch phones for Valentine’s Day!

100 shares on Snapchat this month:

I may not have lost all my marbles yet, but there’s a small hole in the bag somewhere.

80 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I am sick and tired of going to the bathroom. It’s been forty years. It should all be out by now.

91 shares on Instagram this month:

That awkward moment between birth and death.

65 shares on Telegram this month:

Hey, I noticed you’re completely uninterested in me and couldn’t care whether I live or die. Would you like to build a life together?

38 shares on Twitch this month:

The only thing I gained this year is weight.

86 shares on TikTok this month:

Everyone’s all up in arms about how undemocratic the electoral college is and yet we let our weather be decided by a single unelected groundhog.

22 shares on Pinterest this month:

Just paid my rent, now I have a warm place to starve in.

43 shares on WeChat this month:

At the airport, and a wife asked her husband, “Where are our seats?” and he responds, “In the airplane.”

70 shares on Messenger this month:

I hate it when I take a picture of myself and see 20 years of bad eating habits and no exercise.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Every girl’s personal hell is being too excited about their birthday and it ends up being the worst day ever.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Letting her be the passenger princess cause I care about my safety.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Please don’t delete your post. Yes, it was pretty stupid, but my reply to it was a masterpiece.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Ever woken up, kissed the person sleeping next to you and felt glad to be alive? I just did, so I won’t be catching this train again.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

No ChatGPT for me, thanks. I will be asking Liam Gallagher on Twitter.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

God, on inventing the tiger: “Okay, so this is going to be some kind of cat that likes to eat Frosted Flakes.”

14 folks are currently checking 👀

All I’m saying is that at first I am shy and then I become a podcast.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent a DoorDash but for a kiss goodnight and getting tucked in.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Have a good weekend, unless you have other plans.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I didn’t go to the Carribean, my tan is from standing in front of the rotisserie chicken at Costco.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,609

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

This post is highly top-secret. You need to forget that you’ve seen it immediately.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, then you love a boomerang.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

They’re making me get out of bed.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Asking doctors about nutrition is like asking software engineers about printers, they really have no idea.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Taylor Swift’s most unrealistic lyric is “he’d never tell you, but he can play guitar”, because I’ve never met a man who can play guitar that isn’t gonna tell you about it.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Curly fries are my favorite as they’re salty and spiraling, like me.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

Kinda miss being a child and wondering why the moon follows me.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Old people like to golf every day because they are so sick of everyone’s shit and just wanna repeatedly whack something.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

My longest relationship has been with my Hotmail account.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

On Twitter, you will always find someone who is tweeting your thoughts but with better grammar.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

If anyone wants to watch the Super Bowl on a large 8k TV, come on over to my place (and bring a large 8k TV).

Trending via Instagram:

Did it make you feel powerful when you didn’t let me merge onto the highway?

Trending via Discord:

There are 8 billion people in the world and I only have 3 friends, and one is annoying.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

The real me comes out at midnight (it’s just me spending money online).

Just shared via Discord:

Blocking someone isn’t enough; I need their PornHub videos to always buffer, just as they’re about to climax.

Making waves on WeChat:

Annoyed because I want to live my life without a job.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Big fan of calling artists their first name and then the band name as their last name.

Going viral on TikTok:

Not having to bring my backpack to the last day of elementary school was the last time I truly felt free.

Shared recently on YouTube:

We should be able to take our arms off when we go to sleep, we have the technology.

Just shared via WeChat:

I hate the person I become when I try to open a package using the ‘Tear Here’ notch, and it stays sealed.

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Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴