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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Airbnb should have an option if you just want to use someone’s bathroom for a few minutes.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

I eat posts like yours for breakfast.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

The world is in chaos, confess to your crush!

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

They won’t teach you this in school, but life is all about going to weird little diners.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Actually, men should take the pill. It makes more sense to unload the gun than to shoot at a bulletproof vest.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Had salad for the third night in a row and now I get why you’re so angry, vegans.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Someone asked me what my hobby was and I realized that my favorite hobby is doing absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

It’s like 10,000 steps when all you need is a nap.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Make it a habit to cry and act unhinged at meetings so you’re never invited back.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

I’m glad I have boobs. The last thing I need is people making eye contact with me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Jan 31, 2026

3,346

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

Not only is Santa not real, there are also no horny singles in your area wanting to meet you.

Breaking via Instagram:

Dentist appointments are so weird. “Hi, nice to meet you, could you root around in my mouth for a bit?”

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

This whole working for a living thing goes on for how long?

Making waves on Reddit:

I will selflessly protect my family from a life of diabetes by eating all the sweets myself.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I don’t hate you, but I hope you run out of hot water before you’re finished your shower.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

The French only eat snails because they don’t like fast food.

Going viral on WeChat:

Like me, the weather is getting cooler around here.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Women’s fall fashion is basically coming up with ways to wear a blanket without it looking like you’re wearing a blanket.

Trending via Instagram:

I never give second chances, just 10 and then goodbye.

Live now on Slack:

The sole purpose of your child’s middle name… is so they know when they’re really in trouble.

Maybe this is the Windows software update that changes everything for me.

2 weeks ago

Humorous text about a life-changing Windows update with a playful vibe.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the elusive Windows software update – the holy grail of computing hopes and dreams! 🤖💻 Will this be the one that finally brings peace and harmony to our digital lives, or will it simply introduce a whole new slew of bugs and glitches for us to marvel at? 💥💢 Either way, buckle up and prepare for some unexpected adventures in the world of tech! 🚀🔧 #TechTales

change, changes, everything, humor, me, optimism, software, technology, update, Windows

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on TikTok this month:

If I have to look at any more spreadsheets today, you’re gonna have to spread my ashes.

93 shares on WeChat this month:

A 12 step program but it’s just me getting off the couch.

32 shares on TikTok this month:

If the office is always a little cold, you might be working for the lizard people.

33 shares on WeChat this month:

If your store’s bowl of water is just for pets, you should really put up a sign.

44 shares on Reddit this month:

The week be like Mooonnnday, Tueeesday, Weeeeednesday, Thuuuuursday, FriSatSun

33 shares on Discord this month:

If you think my posts are ridiculous, you should see some of my life choices.

55 shares on YouTube this month:

My knight in shining armor comes in liquid form.

85 shares on Telegram this month:

Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can’t eat or play with it, just pee on it and walk away.

69 shares on Snapchat this month:

The magician told me to “Pick a card! Any card!” So I took his Visa.

48 shares on Messenger this month:

People just don’t stop, collaborate, and listen like they used to.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s no sadder tableau in all of humanity than the smoker’s terrarium at the airport.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re either snacking with me or snacking against me.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Posing for photos has to be the most basic thing I’m actually terrible at.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

My teen being nice to me is getting really expensive.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Boyfriends come and go… reply guys stay forever. Against your will, even.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Good news, I just decided I don’t care about anything anymore.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

This body is a temple; I suicide bomb every day.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

An email so annoying, you wanna return the computer to the store.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m just going to be hotter. It’s easier than being nicer.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 40s—you run out of breath trying to find your running shoes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,343

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Suffering from a forehead kisses deficiency (self-diagnosed).

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Peter Parker having to juggle a day job with being a superhero feels kinda stupid nowadays. Just launch a Patreon, my man. Throw a PayPal link in that Spider-bio.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

Sometimes there is no way to debug besides staring at the code until you become enlightened.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

A bridesmaid, but to carry the end of my CVS receipt.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Ever read something so magnificently stupid that you have to just stare into space for a little while and reconcile with your brain for having been subjected to it?

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Good morning to everyone except people who sit right next to you when there’s a whole room full of empty seats.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

It’s amazing how much I accomplish around the house right before someone is coming over.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

We need a word for that weird feeling you get when you learn what a podcaster looks like.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

“Are you ok?” Of course not. Next question!

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Was in a bookshop and asked a worker if he could recommend books to me. He said, ‘Sure, they’re great.’

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

It’s so important to warm up before any physical activity, like getting out of bed.

Just shared via Slack:

What if they close grocery stores and we have to hunt for our food? I don’t even know where the little gummy bears live.

Just shared via Telegram:

A lot of childhood characters weren’t so much beloved as there wasn’t anything else on the TV.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I’ve already sent Santa a short letter this week to say hello. Not that he thinks I only get in touch if I want something.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Your password must contain a character… with a tragic backstory.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Co-worker: You look so unapproachable. Me: Yet, here you are.

Trending via WeChat:

Been there, done that. Then, been there several more times, because apparently I never learn.

Just landed via TikTok:

Patience: something you have when there are too many witnesses around.

Just shared via X:

I eat cake because it’s somebody’s birthday somewhere.

Going viral on Discord:

Ladies, repeat after me: “I was wrong and I am sorry!”

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