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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

I put my pants on just like everybody else: when the police tell me to.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

In my defense, they burned my grilled cheese sandwich.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Optimist: The glass is ½ full. Pessimist: The glass is ½ empty. Excel: The glass is January 2nd.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Plants are like “I’ll have a light lunch.”

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Went out of town, came back and the roomba changed all the locks.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

If a woman says “Do what you want!”, then for God’s sake don’t do what you want!

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

If a door closes, you can just open it again. That is a door. Doors work like this.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

A man messaged me on Insta and said, “You are not looking bad.” This might be the one, y’all.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

There is still plenty of room in my heart, but the bouncer has become a little stricter in recent years.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

People don’t realize how hard you ride for them until you park.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2246 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,408

Funny Quotes Topics

15,116

Funny Quotes Images

12,408

1 hour ago

3,441

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Men invented pool tables so they could watch each other bend over.

Spotted on Instagram:

Thinking of becoming the “where’s my hug” guy in prison.

Reported on Twitch:

If you like Christmas so much, why don’t you merry it?

Shared recently on WeChat:

Eat whatever you want. If someone calls you fat, eat them too.

Shared recently on Facebook:

It takes only one person in this world to make you smile. It’s called a plastic surgeon.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Sorry I’m late. Had to scroll back to my birth year.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

People often mistake me for an adult because of my age.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Drugs do not ruin your career. Drug tests do.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Why are there people outside at the same time as me? It’s my turn.

Spotted on Facebook:

Tourists love to think that they are not like other tourists.

Maybe this is the Windows software update that changes everything for me.

6 months ago

Maybe this is the Windows software update that changes everything for me.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the elusive Windows software update – the holy grail of computing hopes and dreams! 🤖💻 Will this be the one that finally brings peace and harmony to our digital lives, or will it simply introduce a whole new slew of bugs and glitches for us to marvel at? 💥💢 Either way, buckle up and prepare for some unexpected adventures in the world of tech! 🚀🔧 #TechTales

change, changes, everything, humor, me, optimism, software, technology, update, Windows

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2246 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,408

Funny Quotes Topics

15,116

Funny Quotes Images

12,408

1 hour ago

3,445

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Cars should come with a secondary smaller “sorry” horn for when you do something a lil silly by accident.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

To all of you who have never tried blindfold archery: You don’t know what you’re missing!

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

If you don’t have a favorite spatula yet, you still have some growing up to do.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Our parents were right all along, the music is too loud.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

With me, it isn’t Netflix & chill. It’s Prime & panic.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Sorry, can’t. I’m currently nodding in class so the teacher doesn’t feel sad.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

I need to find hobbies that don’t include my debit card.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

You’re never too old to become less of an idiot.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

No one has ever believed in me more than this waitress, who brought me buffalo wings and a single wet nap.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Be nice to your children’s teachers. Especially elementary ones, cause kids have loose lips and that teacher has all the dirt on you.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

I can’t think of a single email that has ever found me well.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

This flight is so long, I don’t know where I’m going anymore. I just live here now. Even the crying baby gave up.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Does anyone know if there’s a career in being a piece of shit?

Reported on WeChat:

I visited my doctor today. He told me my sugar was too high. So I came home and moved it to a lower shelf.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Imagine hearing the ice cream truck music, but at night.

Seen just now on TikTok:

In my defense, Your Honor, I grossly misunderstood the meaning of Boxing Day.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

No president next term. America needs to be single for a while to focus on herself.

Spotted on Slack:

Not to brag, but I don’t need alcohol to send texts I’ll regret.

Going viral on X:

Stop eating cakes with the fakes and come eat a bundt with a cundt.

Just landed via Twitch:

Everyone becomes a robo-dancer when the motion sensor faucet isn’t working.

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