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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Nothing tops a plain pizza.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

My body is a “wonder what happened” land.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

I was at a funeral yesterday and spiced things up by walking over to complete strangers and saying “Ignore what everyone else thinks. I, personally, have no issue with you being here”.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Twerk unto others as you would have them twerk unto you.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

When you realize your punishments as a kid (stay home, take a nap, no junk food, go to bed early) are now your goals as an adult.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

If you eat well and exercise, you’ll die fit.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Calm yourself, Lucifer. You did the right thing coming to me for advice.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

If you relate to me, get some help!

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

What many call beauty can just be wiped off 90% of the time.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Life on other planets be like: “I hope those lunatics don’t discover us!”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,477

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

I think my dad just eradicated a small village with his sneeze.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I toss and turn in bed all night like a beautiful rotisserie chicken.

Trending via Slack:

Why is the debate at night time? Let’s get this thing started at 4pm. I don’t need to get riled up so close to bedtime.

Just landed via Twitch:

Gonna toot my own horn here because I made it through another day without turning any of my feelings into felonies.

Making waves on Threads:

I embarrass myself in front of myself.

Making waves on Telegram:

You should get one IG story in addition to your one phone call when you’re arrested.

Spotted on Twitch:

So stupid how New York is actually as cool as everyone says.

Seen just now on Discord:

This is an awful time to be an educated person.

Trending via LinkedIn:

4 out 3 people struggle with math.

Just shared via Twitch:

Relationship rule: If the woman has told something and the man doesn’t remember, the man hasn’t listened. If the man has told something and the woman doesn’t remember, the man has never told it.

McDonald’s will “anything else” you to death. Can you wait a McMinute?

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McDonald’s will “anything else” you to death. Can you wait a McMinute?
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Commentary:
Oh, McDonald's and their relentless "anything else" questions – it's like a drive-thru version of the Spanish inquisition! 🍔🍟 Waiting for a McMinute feels like an eternity when you're hungry and just want to dive into those golden arches! ⏳😂

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on YouTube this month:

I do not have a “body count.” I have a curious spirit.

70 shares on Instagram this month:

I think God was high when he made me.

70 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Be careful when you follow the masses sometimes the M is silent.

68 shares on Reddit this month:

The question I ask myself most often is, “What would a jury think about this?”

95 shares on Threads this month:

Death by a thousand stupid questions.

54 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Breakups are hard, but have you ever been disappointed in the food you ordered?

38 shares on Telegram this month:

Last night my guardian angel came to me, covered me up, gave me a kiss on the forehead and whispered in my ear: “You’re a pain in the ass!”

76 shares on Slack this month:

Be so funny that everyone forgets that you are ugly!

31 shares on Discord this month:

If I were to “picture everybody in the room naked,” I would be stunned and in awe of the beauty and diversity of the human form before me. But thanks for the advice.

46 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say: “Close Enough.”

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I have nothing nice to wear for the government shutdown.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Liking someone who likes you back is probably really good for your mental health.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

You want me to go apple picking? The original sin?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Phones are wild… we really just sit around tapping glass all day.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Another customer getting a haircut started talking to my barber. Please don’t talk to my barber. You have your own.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I love posting my thoughts on the internet. Now they’re your problem.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

They say dress for the job you want, so I walk around dressed like Darth Vader.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

If you respond to emails and Teams messages quickly, you can get away with basically anything at work.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

“Do something with your life.” Um, I am. Have you heard of a little thing called squandering?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,301

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Be the spooky thing in the woods that you wish to see in the world.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Stay up till 4 a.m. one night, and your sleep schedule is ruined for the next 4 years.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Don’t come to my house unannounced. I will stare at you from my window.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Oh no, we don’t go in there. That room belongs to the spiders.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

You can always tell when a man’s mustache is performative and not representative of his true spirit.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Sunday without HBO feels like a meal without carbs — empty and deeply wrong.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

The only squat I’m even considering doing today is diddly.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

There’s no need to put a little umbrella in my drink. It’s already wet.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

No camera can do justice to a landscape that melts your heart.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Every time your mom tells you that she wants the best for you, she is talking about me.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

Haven’t seen a single bikini photoshoot in the snow this year; the girls are tired.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Very disappointed to find out that the universal remote control I bought does not control the universe.

Freshly posted on X:

I bet aliens lock their door when they go past earth.

Making waves on Slack:

Next time I feel butterflies, I’m chugging down a bottle of tequila so they drown.

Seen just now on Facebook:

You have to be careful about sending your spouse things on social media. You send too many things, next thing you know chores are being redistributed because of “all the free time you clearly have”.

Just landed via Reddit:

“Some things are better left unsaid,” I think to myself immediately after I hit send.

Making waves on Slack:

“I asked ChatGPT”. I confided in Amazon. I confessed to McDonald’s. I have an inside joke with Exxon Mobil.

Live now on Pinterest:

I bet once Bigfoot tries cheeseburgers, he’s gonna wanna hangout with us all the time.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Don’t ask me ‘how are you?’ unless you’re willing to sign an NDA.

Spotted on Telegram:

If there’s one thing we can trust, it’s billionaires.

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