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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

The book characters may be fictional, but my emotional instability over them is real.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

If you ever see me out in public, just know I don’t want to be there.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

We have now entered the void (25th December to 31st December).

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

The worst part about waking up is all the remembering.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

I know how to use an abacus as a tambourine.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

“Help us improve Instagram!” Nice try, fix your own damn website.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Starting your most incoherent sentence with “put simply” to deflect blame onto the reader.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Exorcist came by. Says house isn’t possessed, just incredibly poorly built.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

I never judge a book by its cover. People, though, I can tell are evil by their stupid faces.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

I watch “Law and Order” so much that when I turn off the TV, I wipe my fingerprints off the remote.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Jan 6, 2026

3,311

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

Some people peak in high school. I peaked when I realized I never had to see them again.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I’m ready for the exciting last 30 seconds of the basketball game, which stretch into 25 minutes of fouls, time-outs, and commercials.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Adulting means growing hair in places you’re not supposed to and losing hair in places you don’t want to.

Spotted on YouTube:

I got one brain cell left and it moves around my head like a Windows screensaver.

Just shared via Instagram:

Just a few more hours of scrolling, and then I will finally know.

Making waves on TikTok:

My wife trusts me with a joint bank account but when I’m loading the dishwasher she always walks in the kitchen “to get something.”

Breaking via X:

Be bold, be italic, but never regular.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

One thing about me is I don’t even need to get drunk to act a fool.

Live now on WeChat:

I can now tell the hour of the day by which part of my body needs a heating pad.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Every girl’s personal hell is being too excited about their birthday and it ends up being the worst day ever.

Men used to smoke Marlboros. Now they cry when they lose their strawberry cheesecake vape.

2 months ago

0

Men used to smoke Marlboros. Now they cry when they lose their strawberry cheesecake vape.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh how the times have changed! 🚬➡️😭🍓 Who would have thought that tough Marlboro smokers would turn into softies mourning their lost strawberry cheesecake vape? The evolution of manly habits to sweet indulgences is truly a sight to behold! 🤣🍓🍰 #VapeLife #NewGeneration

cheesecake, cry, lose, Marlboros, men, smoke, strawberry, used, vape

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sex is cool, but have you ever found an academic article that fits your research topic perfectly and supports all of your claims?

0

2 months ago

academic, article, claims, cool, ever, found, humor, irony, joke, perfectly, research, scholarly, sex, topic
Me (young, naive): “I hope something good happens.” Me (now): “I hope whatever bad happens is at least funny.”

0

2 months ago

bad, change, cynicism, evolution, Funny, good, hope, humor, humor change, humor evolution, i, irony, least, me, naivety, perspective, self-awareness, something, whatever, young
Whoever came up with the name wallpaper really nailed it.

0

2 months ago

came, creativity, design, humor, name, observation, play, play on words, wallpaper, wit, words
It’s always “your monthly bill is available,” never “this month is on us.”

0

4 months ago

always, available, bill, customer, customer service, expense, finance, humor, month, monthly, monthly bill, never, payment, sarcasm, service, subscription, surprise, us
Why do we call it tuna fish? Is there any other tuna out there that’s not a fish?

0

2 months ago

call, confusion, fish, humor, irony, question, seafood, why, wordplay
When you thought something would be easy peasy lemon squeezy, but it’s actually been stressy, depressy, lemon zesty.

0

2 months ago

actually, depression, easy, expectation, expectation vs reality, frustration, humor, lemon, reality, something, stress, thought, vs, wordplay

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

80 shares on YouTube this month:

I think it’s extremely important, especially in the morning, to be quiet.

63 shares on Threads this month:

A cheat code to adulting is to always have something to look forward to, no matter how small or big.

88 shares on X this month:

No more fun facts. I want to know what your last nightmare was about.

75 shares on X this month:

Tariff this, tariff that. When is somebody gonna tariff my clothes and kiss me?

10 shares on Facebook this month:

Thanksgiving is just me trying to look cute while holding a fork like a medieval warrior.

26 shares on Reddit this month:

ChatGPT is down right now and if you listen closely, you can hear millions of content creators screaming.

68 shares on Telegram this month:

I miss when there were so many episodes of every show that they all eventually did one where it was hot, and the air conditioning went out.

26 shares on YouTube this month:

When I bark at a dog, I always worry that I might have inadvertently said something wrong.

16 shares on Discord this month:

Some of you are out here driving like your turn signal’s free trial ended and you’re all out of blinks.

88 shares on Messenger this month:

I wish I could join, but I’m busy plotting revenge because my kids laughed when I showed them I can shake it better than Shakira.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I love surprising my metabolism. It never knows what’s coming—either absolute starvation or 1,000+ calories all at once.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

When is someone actually going to change the surprise in the avocado? This hard core is kind of a stupid toy.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I do something completely out of character, like say no to a slice of pizza, or trust someone.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

“You replied so quickly.” God forbid I wait like a dog to hear from you again.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody knows my next move. Not even me.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Statistically speaking, on average, a person has two arms, two legs, one testicle, and one ovary.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, I can’t come. I’m still recovering from the last time I went out.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

RIP to everyone killed by the Gods for their hubris, but I’m different. And better. Maybe even better than the Gods.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I have two dogs: one dominates, the other is a subwoofer.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I want a chiropractor to crack my entire body like a glow stick.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,678

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

I’ve jogged with my jogging pants about as often as I’ve rolled through the kitchen with kitchen roll.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Trying to explain that I’m fascinated by Japan for wood joinery reasons and not nerd or pervert reasons.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

I love men with a provider fetish.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

The sexual tension when everyone arrives at a 4-way stop at the same time.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Carrying my phone from room to room like a Victorian woman and her lantern.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

I feel like we’re on like the 50th or 60th horseman of the apocalypse by now.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

You can’t spell disappointment without me.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m in favor of sticking an “out of order” sign on some people’s foreheads. As a warning.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

My doctor just diagnosed me with anxiety and constipation. Now I’m worried shitless.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

I took some free community martial arts lessons for self-defense, but I’m starting to think Tai Chi is too slow for most muggers.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Sailors wish they could swear like me.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Anyone who thinks office jobs are harmless has never cut their finger on paper.

Shared recently on Instagram:

My mental health walks make my mental health worse because I live in a shithole.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I do all my own stunts, but never intentionally.

Spotted on Slack:

In my 20s: Jingle all the way. In my 40s: Jingle til around ten.

Seen just now on X:

I’m not an early bird or a night owl, I’m some sort of permanently exhausted pigeon.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Note to self: just because it’s in the map app’s directions, doesn’t mean the road is paved.

Going viral on Instagram:

Gonna break into your house, toast all your bread and put it back in the bag.

Making waves on WeChat:

It-is-what-it-is-ing my way through the collapse of civilization.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

It’s generally a good idea to start punching and throwing elbows immediately upon waking up because there may be enemies nearby.

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