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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Congratulations to the sweater, another year of being the most disgustingly named piece of clothing.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

A person’s character can be read quite reliably from the way he or she interacts with service personnel.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

I think I’m about six months away from the perfect ‘before’ picture.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Okay, I’ve proved I’m not a robot, now you prove you’re not a human.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

I need something good to watch while I’m on my phone.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Glad I didn’t really waste any time studying international law, seeing as how it is fake and meaningless.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

So proud of my ancestors for crawling out of the sea and evolving lungs. Pretty disappointed in them ever since though.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

How do couples who live together get anything done? I wouldn’t leave my bed if my girlfriend was in it.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

I fear one day I’ll see one of my posts marked as an “Exhibit A”

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

The dildo of consequences rarely arrives lubed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,618

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

Happy to report that “what time is it/time for you to get a watch” is still being used by the youths.

Just landed via Telegram:

You really have to enjoy the way a man is acting in the beginning, because you will never meet that man again.

Just shared via Pinterest:

God ate when he created sleep, what a beautiful concept.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

The smarter you are, the more important it is for you to figure out how to think less.

Going bananas on Twitch:

I think my new neighbors are creeps. They seem to be looking into my window every time I’m looking out my window to see what they are doing.

Making waves on Twitch:

I don’t know how to mop my kitchen floor without pretending l’m cleaning up a gruesome crime scene.

Live now on Slack:

It’s Friday. Rules don’t apply.

Going viral on TikTok:

I wanna be 14 again and ruin my life differently. I have some new ideas.

Just landed via Telegram:

I can’t go to war, I have to water my plants.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Getting stoned when you have a cat is awesome because it will just walk in and I’m immediately cracking up. Like, look at this dude, I bloody love this guy.

Men used to smoke Marlboros. Now they cry when they lose their strawberry cheesecake vape.

4 weeks ago

Playful quote about men's changing habits and nostalgic vape cravings, with a humorous twist.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh how the times have changed! 🚬➡️😭🍓 Who would have thought that tough Marlboro smokers would turn into softies mourning their lost strawberry cheesecake vape? The evolution of manly habits to sweet indulgences is truly a sight to behold! 🤣🍓🍰 #VapeLife #NewGeneration

cheesecake, cry, lose, Marlboros, men, smoke, strawberry, used, vape

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

35 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The most surprising part of adulthood is parenting your parents.

76 shares on Instagram this month:

I am on my second week of biweekly pay so today I will be showing you how to make a quesadilla out of paper towels.

100 shares on Reddit this month:

If you don’t have a favorite spatula yet, you still have some growing up to do.

12 shares on YouTube this month:

Due to the humidity, my hair has chosen violence.

63 shares on Threads this month:

Googling what ASAP means, and having a panic attack.

44 shares on Reddit this month:

My mom is asking each ornament, “Where do you want to live?” before putting them on the tree.

66 shares on Pinterest this month:

Don’t be alarmed at my semicolon usage; I’m a professional.

80 shares on YouTube this month:

Autumn at last. Sitting on the sofa all day with a blanket and tea and watching movies. Just like in summer, but with a blanket and tea.

82 shares on Pinterest this month:

We need a word for a type of person who spends all their time working to live in a city so they can be near cool things, but they don’t actually like going out.

50 shares on Snapchat this month:

I can clean the whole house if I want to, but if someone asks me to do it, suddenly I’m lazy.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I should’ve been an air conditioner because all I do is vent.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

So why is it that when Star Trek ‘boldly go where no one has gone before’ they always find someone there?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t wait to open my phone tomorrow and find out what we’re mad about next.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

And where did Mr. Pepper receive his degree from exactly?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

If ads were a person, it would be that one neighbor who won’t stop talking to you at the most inconvenient of times.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to brag but this cashier is checking me out.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Living la vida taco!

18 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re in his DMs, so am I, but I am way funnier.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Feels like if cicadas are allowed to just sit in a tree and scream, I should also be.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Hi, I’m online. Would you like to argue for an hour about whether a hotdog is a sandwich?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,570

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

I installed a bike rack on my car so my neighbors think I do something else besides drink.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

My mother still has some really ugly things from the 90s. My older brother, for example.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

You sound unhinged. Let’s go get mugshots.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Bloopers in movie credits is a lost art form.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

At first I’m shy, then I’m a podcast.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

Hate how quietly iPhones die. At 5% it should start verbally begging for its life.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Just once I’d like to read a medication label that says: Warning, may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

I can do anything, as long as there’s a looming deadline and serious consequences.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

I highly recommend having hobbies. It distracts you from things like falling in love.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Sorry, can’t make it, just remembered I don’t want to.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via X:

I have a photographic memory, but I’ve run out of film.

Shared recently on Discord:

I have a condition where if I don’t walk as fast as humanly possible wherever I go, I will die. I’m like the bus in Speed.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Sorry, I had feelings. I’ll replace them with jokes right away.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Is it fall yet? I really can’t suck my stomach in much longer.

Seen just now on Discord:

Picking up a hitchhiker is not worth the risk of being forced to make small talk with a stranger.

Shared recently on Facebook:

You’re my least favourite notification.

Going viral on Instagram:

Getting into male-dominated fields like falling asleep on the couch.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Because of my looks, everyone only wants one thing from me, that I leave them alone.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

My teenager has really expensive taste for someone who can’t afford to buy their own toothpaste.

Just shared via Messenger:

Looks fade but dark, twisted, inappropriate humor is forever.

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