Trendy Funny Quotes

  • I signed up to the gym a few months ago and still don’t see any results. I’ll go by there this weekend and ask what’s going on.
  • I’m so single. When they ask me for an emergency contact, I put the neighbor’s dog.
  • My wheelchair keeps making a screaming noise when I run over people.
  • If someone asks why you’re so pale, simply reply, completely shocked, “You can see me?”
  • Marry someone the same size as you to avoid decades of annoyance adjusting the seats and mirrors in the car.
  • Shoutout to all ladies dating silently without making noise on social media. May God give you another man as a bonus.