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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

I’ll make you feel safe in that you’ll know you can outrun me if we are being chased by a murderer.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

We’re limited only by our imagination and some federal agencies.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

The golden rule of three beverages: one to hydrate, one to caffeinate, and one to celebrate.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

We should all start texting each other like old time explorers. ‘Dearest friend, I have survived another week. The horrors persist.’

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

When planning dinner, remember that ice-cream has both calcium and protein.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

My mom gave me a coffee mug that says “Be your own kind of beautiful” and I’m really trying not to read too much into that.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

If you want your kid to play with their toy just give it to your other kid. Follow me for more parenting hacks.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Summer: 10 minutes outside, 10 hours in front of the AC.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

Whenever I see an athlete eating quark, I get sad, because the quark could have been turned into cheesecake.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you’ll get if you’re able to ‘fall asleep right now.’

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

297 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,566

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,566

Jan 11, 2026

3,383

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

It’s almost time to pack away the black summer clothes and unpack the black winter clothes.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

“Don’t take this the wrong way!” Translation: Prepare for insult.

Going bananas on Instagram:

A real smartphone would know when to shut up.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Don’t wait for later to eat the cake. Do it now, before another mammal of your household finds it.

Just shared via TikTok:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your clothes are still in the washing machine.

Going viral on Slack:

No, I don’t comment, I voodoo doll like a real adult.

Trending via WeChat:

In England “booster shot” is spelled “borchestershire shot”.

Making waves on Twitch:

Do you ever cycle through the same 4 apps on your phone over and over again, and feel like a tiger pacing its cage at the zoo?

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I think my type is a nice person.

Breaking via WeChat:

I’m at that age where someone can call me the wrong name and I’m just like “whatever, I’ll be Dan for a minute”.

More dangerous than a lion that roars is a woman gone silent.

2 months ago

More dangerous than a lion that roars is a woman gone silent.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Watch out for the silent woman – she's plotting world domination while you're busy laughing at lion memes. 🦁👩‍💼💥"

danger, danger sign, dangerous, expression, lion, power, roar, sign, silence, silent, strength, woman

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Yeah, the planet is dying. The government hates us. The animals are leaving. The aliens aren’t contacting us. We might be alone. It just might be you and me.

5 months ago

alien, aliens, alone, animal, animals, dying, existential, government, humor, just, leaving, loneliness, me, planet, relationship, us
That boring, introverted life you’re living has probably protected you from a lot of harm and bad experiences.

1 week ago

bad, boring, boring life, experience, experiences, harm, introvert, life, living, lot, protection
“You’re not allowed to be grumpy on a Friday, it’s in the fine print somewhere.”

5 months ago

allowed, fine, fine print, Friday, grumpy, humor, mood, print, rule, somewhere, weekend
We’re all naughty, some just more than others.

2 months ago

behavior, differences, fun, humor, just, naughty, others, personality
What if AirPods had tongues and they started licking the inside of your ears to indicate they’re low on battery?

2 months ago

absurdity, AirPods, battery, ear, ears, humor, inside, licking, low, technology, tongue
I’ve folded seven page corners of the book I’m reading. That’s 49 in dog ears.

3 months ago

book, corner, dog, dog ear, ear, humor, math, page, page corner, pets, reading

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on Reddit this month:

“I’m gonna sneak past you.” No you’re not. You’ve alerted me.

21 shares on WeChat this month:

When I get the vibe from someone that fitting in is super important to them my first instinct is to bite them.

20 shares on Instagram this month:

I miss my Dad opening the windows and talking about cross-ventilation.

17 shares on WeChat this month:

Just another day of not being hot and rich.

17 shares on WhatsApp this month:

May the hardest part of your day be getting the jeans over your butt.

49 shares on WeChat this month:

Monday morning looks like Jack Nicholson breaking through the door in The Shining.

40 shares on Pinterest this month:

Every time you give someone the benefit, they deliver the doubt.

27 shares on X this month:

33 shares on Twitch this month:

This whole “having a job” thing is really getting in the way of me having my best life.

51 shares on Facebook this month:

I successfully avoided the red-eye flight and got the much milder pink eye flight.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Scared to go on dates, cause what if I find the one and never be able to be single again.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate overhead lighting – trying to mimic the holy sun should be considered sinful. The lamp is much better, mimicking the hearths of our forebears.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Spending 5 minutes looking up every word I want to use in a sentence to make sure I can define it in case they ask.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Tryna choke on gummy bears so my tombstone can read ‘killed by a bear’

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Woke up feeling not too shabby for a 60-year-old. The only problem is I’m still in my 40s.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Being loved right feels like telepathy and a little bit of witchcraft.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Donating blood today to make room for more food.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Looking to sell my DeLorean. Great shape, low mileage. Only driven from time to time.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

In contrast to the ship, the movie Titanic was quite well received in America.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate everyone in front of me at this checkout line, everyone behind me is cool.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

297 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,566

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,566

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,530

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

“Is this a joke to you?” Unfortunately, everything is a little bit of a joke to me.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

“Are you getting your period?” God forbid I’m just evil.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

My ex was like “I know a spot,” then took me to the lowest point in my life.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

I’m an ethical hater. My hate towards you is informed, balanced, and deeply nuanced.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Sex is cool, but have you ever received reassurance without asking for it?

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

When I’m behind a slow car, I steer my car a little to the right so the people behind me can see that it isn’t my fault.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

So much anger in this small little body. I feel like a chihuahua.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

If you haven’t tried blindfold archery, you should give it a go. You don’t know what you’re missing.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

People ask you, “are you crazy”, and then get scared when you answer, “yes”.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Pool rules: You’re not allowed to do anything that begins with the words ‘Hey everyone watch this!’

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

Chip bags should be clear, show me what you want me to pay $6 for, cowards.

Just landed via Reddit:

There are only two portion sizes for mashed potatoes: nowhere near enough (posh restaurants) or far, far too much (literally everyone else).

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your clothes are still in the washing machine.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Yes, I make bad decisions when I’m drunk. But I wouldn’t say that the decisions I make when I’m sober are any better.

Just landed via TikTok:

There should be a socially acceptable way to say, “I’m not sure what to say to that. Can you please say something different?”.

Trending via Instagram:

Whole crypto scheme is built on people too dumb for crypto that aren’t self-aware enough to realize it.

Going bananas on Threads:

Whenever my Mother-in-Law’s stories end with “And I turned out OK” I’m looking around like who’s gonna tell her.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Unfortunately for things, they have no choice but to work out for me.

Just landed via Discord:

The most avoided species of shark is the Loan.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Uh oh, said somethin’ weird. Better fix it by saying something even weirder.

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