Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

Salt and pepper shakers add an air of mystique to any bathroom.

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All people make me happy. Some when they come, others when they leave.

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I am never hungrier than when I leave the dentist and told I can’t eat right away.

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Being late to work should never be that serious. At least I came?

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Forget pheromones, barbecue smells are always attractive.

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Just got my test results back and my cholesterol level is a cheese bratwurst.

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Money can’t buy happiness, until you’re on vacation and then you realize it definitely can.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

‘I have a ripe avocado at home’ is my favorite excuse for cancelling plans.

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The longest drum solo was 10 hours and 26 minutes and was performed by the child sitting behind me on a flight from LA to Tokyo.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Nothing makes me more stabby than when my husband ignores me and starts talking to the dog.