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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Took a good look at my finances. I won’t make that mistake again.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

If she says “so just what exactly is THAT supposed to mean”, you’re gonna have a bad time.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

So, if I take out a reverse mortgage on my house does that mean I’ll own a bank after 30 years?

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Statistically speaking, people don’t object enough at weddings.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Babies invented being in a bad mood for no reason, and they continue to innovate in the field.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m on this new diet where I don’t consume anything that talks to me before the first coffee.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Cheer up! Your biggest mistake is probably still ahead of you.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

I’ve got a soft heart and a savage mouth. I’m like a Hallmark card written by Gordon Ramsay.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

Telling a child not to touch something only ensures that child is definitely now going to touch that something.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Even though he murders a lot of people, you can tell Freddie Kruger is a fun loving guy cause he goes by Freddie and not Fred or Frederick.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,458

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Some people spend a fortune so they can circle the world. I drink some beer and the world circles around me.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I hope this email finds you in a well.

Breaking via Reddit:

Everyone thinks they won’t be that couple that goes from ‘everything you do is a turn-on’ to ‘you’re breathing too loud,’ but they will be, oh, they will be.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Gosh, being a princess is exhausting.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I really don’t get enough praise for someone who doesn’t need validation from others.

Just landed via Reddit:

It’s always annoying to be woken up by some guy mowing his lawn. Just go around me, man.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Only people who grew up before the internet will remember these: spelling, grammar and punctuation.

Breaking via Discord:

“Where did all your money go?” I’m either wearing it or eating it.

Trending via Instagram:

My kids are smart but sometimes they say dumb stuff like, “Mom, why do you always buy Snickers when you’re the only one who likes them?”

Going viral on Telegram:

My addiction to buying things I don’t need started at the school book fair.

Most people in your life will come and go but occasionally you’ll meet someone really special who makes you contemplate murder.

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Most people in your life will come and go but occasionally you’ll meet someone really special who makes you contemplate murder.
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Commentary:
"Ah, the joys of human relationships. 🤣 Just when you think you've met that special someone, they make you consider extreme measures. 💔🔪 Remember, it's all part of life's rollercoaster ride… or crime thriller novel! 😜 #RelationshipDrama"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on Slack this month:

Insulting me won’t work. I already said that to myself earlier.

77 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Heelys don’t have brakes because my swag rides forever.

51 shares on Twitch this month:

Career anxiety hitting at random hours of the day.

66 shares on Threads this month:

Imagine not sleeping with plushies. You guys are gonna get eaten by monsters.

95 shares on Reddit this month:

Peak delusion is believing that a paragraph will make someone treat you better.

44 shares on YouTube this month:

Violence is not the answer, unless you’re a gaggle of children instructed to break into a piñata.

76 shares on LinkedIn this month:

A sperm bank implies the existence of sperm markets, which further implies the existence of high-frequency sperm trading.

62 shares on Twitch this month:

What song lyric resonates with you the most? Mine is “we’re tiny, we’re toony, we’re all a little loony”

49 shares on Slack this month:

You didn’t get fired, your job “fumbled you”.

83 shares on Telegram this month:

“Nobody wants to work anymore!” Personally, I have never wanted to work.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I know my limits. I don’t always obey them, but I know them.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Your boos don’t mean anything to me. I’ve seen what you people cheer for!

6 folks are currently checking 👀

When I get tired of shopping, I sit down and try on shoes.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Body: time to fall asleep. Brain: hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I need to start hiding my money from myself.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re the type of person who likes to be left alone, I’m with you. Better yet, I’m not with you.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I firmly believe that at this point my guardian angel is just eating popcorn and watching the drama.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Just because talking is for you doesn’t mean that starting a podcast is.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I need a vaccine against overthinking.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,364

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

I like waiters. They bring a lot to the table.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Accidentally manifested an emotionally intelligent man that is hot and can cook. We’re currently staring at each other.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Breaking News: Local woman stuns in new unnecessary online purchase.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Laugh all you want. My Encyclopedia Britannica set will never require WiFi.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

Get a Ring camera so you can yell at your kids when they’re out front and freak them out.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

“Some things are better left unsaid,” I think to myself immediately after I hit send.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

It’s so hot, I just saw a squirrel fanning its nuts.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

One of the worst ways to waste your youth is by being insecure.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Because it is Friday, I will allow one beautiful woman to invite me for drinks.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

We can do things two ways. My way or the right way.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I refuse to be bound by the social construct called “the calendar.” Merry Christmas, everyone.

Freshly posted on Discord:

This is the dumbest apocalypse ever.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Stop expecting people to be as cool as you, it’s a recipe for disappointment.

Spotted on Snapchat:

“Are you getting your period?” God forbid I’m just evil.

Making waves on Reddit:

Every time you give someone the benefit, they deliver the doubt.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Whenever I get up my cat gets up too and then yells at me like it’s my fault she decided we have to do this together.

Making waves on Snapchat:

“Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)” is now 40 years old. If you have an earworm now, you also have back pain.

Making waves on X:

Are there cheat codes for parenting teenagers? This level is really hard.

Just shared via Facebook:

Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they’re dead.

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