Multitask? I can barely unitask.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

I am a person who wants to get a lot done, trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep in and take naps at times.

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My attempts to purge my possessions always seem to result in me rediscovering that I have lots of nice things, after which I lie happily on my hoard like a dragon.

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According to my calculations, we’re all screwed.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Keeping a picture of my bed in a locket around my neck and staring at it longingly on my lunch break.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

Patience and forbearance are those qualities you develop when there are too many witnesses.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Girl math is ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife.

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Therapy is basically me saying, “I did a thing,” and my therapist saying, “Yay, good job!”

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Don’t tell me what to do unless you are naked.

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I love ketchup from my head to-ma-toes.

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Where do you see yourself five beers from now? What’s your five-beer plan?