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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

You were there at the beginning of the Internet if you’ve heard the following: “Get off the web, I need to make a call!”

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

I see why history can repeat itself. People are really stupid.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

I’m just so lazy because I’m still recovering from the fact that I used to be the fastest sperm.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Why is everything 10x better at night? Driving, showering, eating, vibing to music, watching Netflix… phone calls. Like, everything.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

I did a little research on why weekends are only two days long and it turns out people made that up. WTF, people?

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

I have no idea how dishwasher tablets work. I’ve already taken five of them, and I still don’t feel like doing the dishes!

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

There aren’t enough rap songs about cutting coupons.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

If pigeons and chickens made a tribe, would they be called the coo clucks clan?

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

Someone asked me if I had any hobbies and I panicked and said “lasagna”.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

1pm, the perfect time to start doing the work I woke up early to get a jump on.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,548

Funny Quotes Topics

16,780

Funny Quotes Images

14,548

Nov 27, 2025

3,708

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

God, on inventing the tiger: “Okay, so this is going to be some kind of cat that likes to eat Frosted Flakes.”

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

If you comment to say “No comment,” you have, in fact, commented.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Without freedom of speech we wouldn’t know who the idiots are.

Seen just now on Slack:

Netflix should’ve just maybe mailed us all this fight on DVD.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Did we do it, did we save the daylight?

Going viral on Facebook:

What’s your favorite song about a white boy playing funky music?

Seen just now on Discord:

My most boomer complaint is that nobody knows how to bring an item out of courtesy to parties anymore.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I used to work at McDonald’s and we only told ugly people that the ice cream machine was broken. So I have bad news if you were ever denied ice cream.

Trending via Discord:

Why did they call it painting your toenails and not graffeeti?

Spotted on Messenger:

I’m starting to think that the secret to having a happy life is avoiding people.

My boss doesn’t want dogs in the office. But he didn’t say anything about alpacas.

3 weeks ago

My boss doesn’t want dogs in the office. But he didn’t say anything about alpacas.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like someone found a sneaky loophole in the office pet policy! 🐶❌🦙✔️ Forget "take your dog to work day" – it's all about "take your alpaca to work day" now! Watch out, your boss might soon be giving you the side-eye during team meetings with an unexpected furry friend by your side. 😂🦙👔

alpacas, animals, boss, dogs, humor, office, pet, pet policy, policy, say, want, workplace, workplace humor

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,548

Funny Quotes Topics

16,780

Funny Quotes Images

14,548

Nov 27, 2025

3,788

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

You’re in her DMs, she’s in my bed whining that it’s too cold. Can you come get her?

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

So I just keep making dinner? Every night of my life? For forever?

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Since I’ve stayed away from most people, I get on much better with people.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

I used to work at McDonald’s and we only told ugly people that the ice cream machine was broken. So I have bad news if you were ever denied ice cream.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Sex is fine, but have you ever completed every single thing on your to-do list?

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Every year, just in time for Christmas, when it’s freezing cold, the Coca Cola truck shows up. Now, in this freaking heat, it’s nowhere to be seen.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

I don’t need the web for attention, I jog in a wedding dress.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Tuesday is just Monday wearing a fake mustache.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

In my years of experience, people who disagree with me are usually wrong.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

UK rappers be like “I’ve got a posh flat and my bird is very comely, I own more motors than the marchioness of cholmondeley”

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

Does anyone know the password to my work computer? Or how to do my job?

Making waves on Threads:

I don’t push people away, I just do the Macarena.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Elevator rides in real life: 30 seconds long. Elevator rides in movies: Two minutes long.

Spotted on Twitch:

I don’t hate you, I just don’t want to see you alive.

Live now on TikTok:

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute, forget the fruit.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I changed my Facebook name to “Benefits.” Now, when people add me, it says, “You are now friends with benefits.”

Seen just now on TikTok:

Like a fine bourbon, we get better with age. Or, at least, … we feel better about our age after drinking lots of bourbon!

Going viral on WhatsApp:

My Christmas letter this year includes a bonus DVD of my colonoscopy.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

When people are telling me a story about their life it often reminds me of a much better story from my life.

Making waves on Slack:

It’s a little ironic when you consider that the Internet was invented to save time.

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