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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

I just cleaned the house top to bottom, so now I’m gonna need everybody to stop living here.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

I put on my Godzilla costume, then go to the miniature golf course to beat up the windmill.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

People be like “I love your energy” – then drain it.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

The me who snips coupons needs to communicate better with the me who walks into the stores.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

This is the wrong generation for people with an old soul.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Shoutout to everyone who can’t keep up with the laundry or the dishes but decided it was a great idea to start gardening.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Would have started saving money in kindergarten if I knew my life was like this.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Accidentally said “normal” when they asked what milk I wanted at the leftist cafe.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Coughing has finally overtaken speaking Arabic as the most taboo thing to do in an airport.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

“Are you seeing someone?” Like a hallucination, therapist, or a guy?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,591

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

You can do laundry every day and still be behind on laundry.

Going bananas on Threads:

Look at you with tape over your camera, while Amazon, Facebook, and Google have your whole life on file.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Nobody has ever been given a cheeseburger and been upset about it.

Spotted on TikTok:

364 days until Christmas, and people already have decorations up. Unbelievable.

Trending via Telegram:

When I say “the other day”, it can be anytime between yesterday and my birth.

Trending via Reddit:

God, please — if you don’t want someone to love me, at least make me a millionaire.

Making waves on Instagram:

Those security guards at the Samsung store are Guardians of the Galaxy.

Just landed via X:

You did all that terrible driving just to end up right next to me at the stop light.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

No, I don’t want to read the article first, I want to argue now.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I wish I loved anything as much as people love to say they are “thrilled” on LinkedIn.

My boss doesn’t want dogs in the office. But he didn’t say anything about alpacas.

2 weeks ago

Playful quote about workplace rules involving unexpected alpacas instead of dogs.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like someone found a sneaky loophole in the office pet policy! 🐶❌🦙✔️ Forget "take your dog to work day" – it's all about "take your alpaca to work day" now! Watch out, your boss might soon be giving you the side-eye during team meetings with an unexpected furry friend by your side. 😂🦙👔

alpacas, animals, boss, dogs, humor, office, pet, pet policy, policy, say, want, workplace, workplace humor

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on Messenger this month:

Life is hard. It is harder if you are stupid.

27 shares on Telegram this month:

Ain’t no way there’s billions of us and nobody got superpowers.

62 shares on TikTok this month:

Whenever I close an app and immediately open it back up, I really feel how dire it all is.

89 shares on Pinterest this month:

We must all do our part for the planet. The other day I unplugged a row of electric cars nobody was using.

14 shares on Threads this month:

My husband loves it when he orders fries, I say I don’t want any, and then I swoop in on his like a seagull at the beach.

31 shares on WeChat this month:

ChatGPT is down right now and if you listen closely, you can hear millions of content creators screaming.

42 shares on Twitch this month:

“There’s something beautifully intimate about never speaking to a person again.”

53 shares on Facebook this month:

Beavers are also just otters that have learned carpentry.

96 shares on Instagram this month:

New York is so awesome. Like, yes, let’s spend $108 for breakfast and walk past homeless people freezing.

88 shares on Snapchat this month:

When I tell you “I’m open to feedback” I’m telling you to be nice to me or I’ll resort to violence.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

You were there at the beginning of the Internet if you’ve heard the following: “Get off the web, I need to make a call!”

14 folks are currently checking 👀

How do I get my glasses prescription placed in my windshield?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

That awkward shopping moment when someone is standing in front of the items you need and you pretend you’re shopping for something else because they just won’t budge.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

It is so weird that every single one of us is going to die, and we are not nicer to each other.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Losing weight in your 40’s: LOL!

10 folks are currently checking 👀

If your boyfriend insists he rolls everywhere because it’s ‘faster than walking’, you may be dating a gamer.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I love your niche references! Are you typically ignored in large groups, by any chance?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope I find $10,000 on the floor later.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t talk to me about regrets if you’ve never had someone’s name tattooed on you.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, getting ready for work, getting some sleep for work, or thinking about not wanting to go to work.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,275

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

So many people these days are too judgmental. I can tell just by looking at them.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

The only ex I cheated on is my exam.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Becoming an adult was the worst thing I’ve ever done.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

They’re putting me through the penny flattening machine at the zoo.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

After being raised on Disney movies, I’m very disappointed how few adult problems can be solved by a good song and dance.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

I support Bluesky in theory, but in practice, it’s like a JRPG with no bad guys.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Post beach shower is undefeated. Greatest feeling a human could experience. Throw a nap in there, and you will never touch serenity so close.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

I would do absolutely anything for my friends, except answer their text messages.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

I don’t understand why “family-run” should be a sign of quality. North Korea, for example, is also family-run and doesn’t convince me at all.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

No, I don’t want to read the article first, I want to argue now.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Instagram:

Ho, ho, holy shit is Christmas stressful.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Pinterest recipe so long that it’s now a limited series on Netflix.

Going viral on Threads:

“You’re so quiet.” Thanks, I’m not comfortable around you.

Making waves on Twitch:

Don’t compare yourself with others. Everyone is better than you.

Live now on Twitch:

My wife is pretty excited about going away this weekend so I’m not sure she knows I’m coming with her.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Some parents are blessed with amazing kids and others have kids that decide to learn the trumpet.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Someday I will make a sandwich that will change my life forever.

Just shared via WeChat:

By age 40, you should have an entire wardrobe of clothes—one size too small—that you keep in eternal optimism that you’ll fit in them again one day.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Telling your parents about your problems is like trying to put out a fire with gasoline.

Just landed via Threads:

Jump to recipe is the closest thing we have to teleportation.

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