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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

You don’t know your own leg strength until you’re kicking the end of a hotel tucked bed sheet.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

As a kid, I didn’t understand the subtext of ‘I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus’ at all. I thought Mommy was cheating.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Bro, you will never rewatch that 7-minute video you took of fireworks. Just live in the moment.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow just as well.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Kiss me like you’re trying to damn my soul and save it in the same breath.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Americans can choose from over 1,000 breakfast cereals but only two presidential candidates?

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Do married people watch Gen Z dating and feel like they caught the last chopper out of Nam?

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

I try not to post too much, to give everyone else a better chance at being seen.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

We need a streaming service that’s only ads. No shows, just commercials. They pay us $15 a month.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

Girl who is still crazy: I was crazy back then.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,634

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

When I say I’m tired, the “of people” is silent.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Welcome to your 40’s. You now have a favorite vegetable peeler.

Just shared via Slack:

No, you’re not a “prompt engineer,” you’re a sloperator.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Whoever told you there’s no such thing as a stupid question lied.

Making waves on Slack:

I started at the bottom and worked my way down.

Live now on Slack:

A dinosaur as a pet would solve so many problems. Mainly, people problems.

Trending via LinkedIn:

My problem areas are my upper arms and earth.

Breaking via WeChat:

Imagine thinking you have all the answers.

Going viral on YouTube:

It’s never too early to be sad about having to work the next day.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

A bird just flew into our glass door. Іt’s not dead. Just really embarrassed.

My boss wants me to train some other employees so it’s pretty obvious he has no idea I am completely incompetent.

2 weeks ago

Witty text highlighting workplace humor about boss's cluelessness and employee incompetence.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Oh the irony! 🤣 Training others when you yourself are unsure of what you're doing sounds like a recipe for office comedy! 🤷‍♂️ Who knows, maybe your boss thinks your incompetence adds a special 'charm' to the training sessions! 😄 #FakeItTillYouMakeIt"

am, boss, employees, humor, i, idea, incompetent, irony, job, management, me, obvious, pretty, train, wants, workplace

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on Pinterest this month:

Putting sunscreen on kids feels like cardio.

64 shares on Threads this month:

That was the last cup of coffee in my life. From tomorrow I’ll be drinking straight from the pot.

64 shares on WeChat this month:

I end all my sentences with “Just saying..” because ending them with “You bonehead..” would probably be considered offensive.

58 shares on Pinterest this month:

Doctor said I am terminally chill.

32 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m sorry that I bit you, I was trying to flirt.

25 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Let’s ride this misunderstanding into the sunset.

37 shares on Telegram this month:

I’ve been closer to death than a stable relationship.

66 shares on Slack this month:

Podcasts are like babies, they’re too easy to create and not everyone should have one.

17 shares on Pinterest this month:

People who leave the blinds closed the entire plane ride: who hurt you?

81 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Good morning, especially if they tried to make you go to rehab and you said “no, no, no.”

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever said it was okay to let your pets sleep in your bed, thanks a lot, now my goldfish is dead.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Lorebombing is when you make a new friend in your thirties and you have to catch each other up.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody can ragebait as successfully as your own mother can.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I just finally discovered what’s wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe women decided to convince men that beards were sexy because they were sick of cleaning the washbasin after he shaved.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Just saw a bird run across the street if you were wondering if anyone else is wasting their gifts.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Before I drink, I eat liver so the liquor won’t know which liver to attack.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Being a writer means having a story you want everyone in the world to read, except anyone who knows you.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I didn’t lose a girlfriend, I gained an enemy.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

All my passwords are protected by short term memory loss.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,652

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

You hit a couple of curbs, take out a trash can and all of a sudden it’s “you can’t drive”.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Apparently you’re not supposed to announce that there’s been a death in the family every time you kill a houseplant.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Every marriage has a personality hire, and then someone who knows how insurance works.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Ordering 600 pizzas from Washington, D.C., to rug pull on Polymarket.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

They should invent a day where it all makes sense.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

I was about to organise my closet, but I then I found what I was looking for.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Oh, that gap on my resume is from when I was the architect of my own hell.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

You can’t spell disappointment without me.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

This entire “presidency” is like being tied to a chair and watching a toddler play with a loaded pistol.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Mid-life crisis? No, no, mid-day crisis. Something happens every day.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

I cannot hear a word you are saying if your hoodie strings are uneven.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

The amount I’m sighing these days could fuel a small wind farm.

Making waves on WeChat:

Chasing after a ping pong ball is wildly dehumanizing.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I have officially reached the age where I am bothered by lights being on, doors left open, loud noises, and people.

Spotted on Instagram:

Why did they call it K-pop and not Seoul music?

Going bananas on Threads:

If you scroll Twitter long enough, you too can burn calories by shaking your head.

Spotted on Facebook:

You look like you suck at Mario Kart.

Making waves on Pinterest:

When I become president, any public holiday that falls on a Thursday automatically extends to Friday.

Just shared via Instagram:

I’m going spiraling, do you need anything?

Shared recently on Twitch:

I hate being responsible for my own meals because I’ll either spoil myself or starve for most of the day.

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