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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

I’m proud of myself because, despite having so many expenses, I still manage to add more.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Sunglasses: allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It’s like Facebook in real life.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

You don’t scare me. You’re not the evil eye I get from my dog when I make him get up from the couch so I can lay down.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Note: Press the button on the elevator as often as possible to activate the secret express function and speed up the thing.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

I’m always sad when my sandwich is over.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Diplomacy is the art of sending someone to hell in such a way that they look forward to the journey.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

You’d seriously think I was wanted for murder by the way I react when someone knocks on the door.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Good morning to everyone except people that talk to the cashier about their entire day.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

My friend and I had a running joke. She said, “Let’s do a marathon,” and then we both laughed.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

“I read 20 books this year!” That’s nothing. I read 50,000 tweets.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

2 hours ago

3,459

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

Those security guards at the Samsung store are Guardians of the Galaxy.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I can’t believe I slept good all night. What a rush.

Reported on Reddit:

I just finished cleaning the house for Thanksgiving, so if you’re looking for my family they’ll be in the backyard until Thursday.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

How quickly family vacations go from “Omg, we only have 4 days left” to “Omg, we still have 4 days left”

Making waves on Facebook:

McDonald’s will “anything else” you to death. Can you wait a McMinute?

Trending via Twitch:

Back in my day, we had to walk to the TV to change the channel. Uphill, both ways!

Seen just now on YouTube:

I’ll be honest. I can’t solve your problems. What I can do is create new, bigger problems that will make your current problems seem quaint by comparison.

Making waves on Messenger:

What’s wrong, babe? You hardly touched your own advice you give to others.

Shared recently on X:

Some people you look at or hear talking and think to yourself, the wheel may be turning, but the hamster is dead.

Freshly posted on X:

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking recently, and I’ve decided that I really don’t want to do that any more.

My boss wants me to train some other employees so it’s pretty obvious he has no idea I am completely incompetent.

6 months ago

My boss wants me to train some other employees so it’s pretty obvious he has no idea I am completely incompetent.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Oh the irony! 🤣 Training others when you yourself are unsure of what you're doing sounds like a recipe for office comedy! 🤷‍♂️ Who knows, maybe your boss thinks your incompetence adds a special 'charm' to the training sessions! 😄 #FakeItTillYouMakeIt"

am, boss, employees, humor, i, idea, incompetent, irony, job, management, me, obvious, pretty, train, wants, workplace

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

2 hours ago

3,429

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Due to financial reasons, I will now be performing photosynthesis.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

People be like “I love your energy” – then drain it.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Typos is the Greek god of spelling errors.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

People often mistake me for an adult because of my age.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Taking action is my least favorite thing to take.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

If I had my Pinterest wardrobe, I would be unstoppable.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

I do all my own stunts, but never intentionally.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

I’m tired and drank a lot of coffee, so now I’m tired but faster.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Why do my fully charged AirPods deplete at different rates? Do I listen harder out of one ear?

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

I’ve never wished a man dead, but I’ve read some obituaries with great pleasure.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I refuse to learn the color coding for heart emojis. Your heart means what I want it to, and vice versa.

Just shared via Snapchat:

There should be a day between Sunday and Monday called Hang on a Second.

Spotted on WeChat:

Nosferatu implies the existence of a Yesferatu.

Live now on Twitch:

I just can’t watch football, there’s too much “penetration in the backfield” for me to not giggle like an immature maniac.

Shared recently on X:

I’m a simple girl, really. I just want to watch the sunset, laugh, drink coffee, and read books. I also want a time machine and a pet dragon.

Going viral on Reddit:

Welcome to middle age. “I carried a watermelon” has gone from a movie quote to something you tell your orthopedist.

Just landed via Messenger:

Refusing to attend my brother’s gambling intervention until they agree to call it a slot shaming.

Reported on Discord:

I wish there were an option to turn off the Wi-Fi connection for WhatsApp only.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

You know the nap is good when it left you marks.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Girls be like “forget it, I’m fine” then set your house on fire.

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