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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Having hoes in different area codes sounds really exhausting.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

New COVID variant tries to sell you an extended auto warranty.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

I set my alarms extra early to make sure I have enough time to lay in bed and be angry about having to wake up.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Our parents used to drop us off at school with no water bottle, no phone and no snacks, yet somehow we survived.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Watching Unsolved Mysteries and getting mad when they don’t solve the mystery at the end.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

I would like to see the USA go metric before I die, just so I can enjoy the outrage that would follow.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

They should invent a self-checkout where someone else scans the items and puts them in a bag.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Technically mixed martial arts can include tickle fighting.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

I don’t like people driving fast—that’s the reason why I overtake them.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

No kids at my wedding. Gonna Uber the flower girl home when she’s done.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

28 minutes ago

3,421

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

I’m so single, I have no one to drunk text.

Freshly posted on Discord:

You truly don’t realize how young 20 is until you’re not 20 anymore.

Trending via Snapchat:

Have kids so you can fully appreciate how well your dog listens.

Broadcasted on Slack:

“You never text back.” No, I be reading texts from the notification bar, then forget to text back.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Phone so dry, I caught myself checking the weather.

Trending via Telegram:

Nearly choked on a carrot. A donut would never do that to me.

Trending via Threads:

If your drinking story doesn’t involve law enforcement, I’m not listening.

Spotted on Reddit:

I wasn’t feeling well so I googled my symptoms. I either have allergies or I died two days ago.

Reported on TikTok:

Ever think vampires just lied about hating garlic, now we’re just out here seasoning ourselves for them?

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I don’t wanna be dramatic but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

My car spider built a web across my steering wheel and now I can’t go anywhere.

5 months ago

My car spider built a web across my steering wheel and now I can’t go anywhere.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like your eight-legged friend is really taking the term "joyride" to a whole new level! 🕷️🚘 Who knew that your car spider moonlights as a web designer? Hope you have some extra flies in the glove compartment for a quick snack while you wait for your little critter to finish their masterpiece! 🕸️🍴

across, annoyance, anywhere, built, car, driving, funny situation, humor, i, obstacle, situation, spider, steering, steering wheel, travel, web, wheel

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

28 minutes ago

3,436

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

“God has a plan for you!” Okay, well, I have some notes for him.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

“How is the job search going?” First of all, that is a violent question. And it hurts me, by the way. And second, how the hell should I know.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

We’re all in the billionaire submarine now.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Today marks a five year anniversary of how I’ll start going to the gym tomorrow.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

I will never sell out my integrity unless I am offered something for it.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

The list of women who haven’t slept with me is really impressive.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

It’s like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a Like.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

That’s not my girl bestie, that’s my platonic wife.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Long sandwiches should have suitcase handles.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Blocking someone isn’t enough, I want them to get lice.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

Tried to sleep by reading a boring book and now it’s suddenly the most interesting book.

Just landed via Twitch:

Sometimes I don’t have anything intelligent to say and sometimes I don’t let that stop me.

Live now on Discord:

A girl was coming over till she wasn’t—that’s what happened.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I always thought that aunts had a lot of money. Until I became one myself.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I’d like to have a word with the groundhog before he starts working this year.

Going viral on TikTok:

You come from dust and you will return to dust. That’s why I don’t dust. It could be someone I know.

Just shared via WeChat:

I need to go to jail for a while to catch up on all my reading.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I’m not calling anyone daddy unless I’m asking for money for the mall.

Making waves on Reddit:

I was not prepared for my knees to sound like someone is breaking spaghetti noodles in half every time I go up the stairs.

Trending via Pinterest:

It’s curious how kids are always really hungry right before dinner and right after dinner, but never during actual dinner.

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