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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

My AI-generated girlfriend is hotter than your real girlfriend.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

I forgot to turn my clocks back and, oh my God, you guys are not going to believe the stuff that happens in the next hour.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

According to this box of macaroni and cheese, I am an entire family.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

I went for an interview at IKEA. The manager greeted me by saying “come in, make a seat”.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

I fall in love with a song and play it until I absolutely don’t wanna hear it no more.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

“Clean” my shower? Then what? Give my car a ride into town?

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Caffeine is not enough anymore, I need to chew on a power line.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Sometimes I wonder what happened to the people who asked me for directions.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Like a fine bourbon, we get better with age. Or, at least, … we feel better about our age after drinking lots of bourbon!

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

I hope this email makes you quit your job.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,400

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

“American Pope” sounds like the name of an Amazon prime original series you ignore.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

When fireworks were invented, it was ‘hisssss’ to ‘wheeeee’ in the making.

Trending via LinkedIn:

What happened to my ankles tonight mosquitologically can never happen again.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

A little sign under the doorbell that says, “think twice, adventurer.”

Freshly posted on Twitch:

For a guy supposedly called my “brother,” I’ve never seen him make broth even once.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

They should make a drug that recreates the feeling of having your number called earlier than expected.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

No, you tell me what YOU were doing during that gap in my resume.

Trending via Telegram:

Inflation is actually a good thing, it means money is going viral.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I won’t rest until a cure for insomnia is found.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I will play my favorite song until the artist comes out of my phone to ask for water.

My co-workers found out when my birthday is so now I need to find a new job.

2 weeks ago

Humorous quote about workplace secrets and birthday surprises, playful and witty in tone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh no, the dreaded office birthday celebrations strikes again! 🎉 Looks like it's time to update the resume and start job-hunting for a workplace that won't throw surprise parties. 🎂 Who knew a cake could cause such chaos? 🍰 #OfficeDrama

birthday, co-worker, coworkers, found, humor, i, job, need, new, new job, work, workplace

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on Reddit this month:

Every day we get closer and closer to Idiocracy coming true.

33 shares on Reddit this month:

Lounging under the stars is top-tier therapy.

38 shares on Instagram this month:

I run a parody bank account.

14 shares on Twitch this month:

My wife just admitted a mistake. What do I have to do now? What does this mean for my future? Help me!

91 shares on Threads this month:

Okay, fall, I see you showing a lil’ leg.

73 shares on Reddit this month:

Nice tweets, bro. What medications are you on?

60 shares on Facebook this month:

How dare you say I’m crazy on the eve of my cat’s wedding?

100 shares on Reddit this month:

Aliens traveled millions of light years to get here to visit New Jersey.

57 shares on X this month:

My résumé is really just a list of things I hope I never have to do again.

48 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m literally overstimulated with life. I need to scream on top of a mountain.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m sick of waking up thinking about the government, and going to bed thinking about the government.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Always be kind. You never know who has subscriptions to your favorite streaming apps.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My birth year getting a lil too far on those lil scroll lists. I don’t like that.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Lingerie under a trench coat is still on my bucket list, by the way.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Girls will be like “I have so much to do” then grab some snacks and start watching a 10 part docuseries on serial killers.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Job-hopping is a funny concept, like ‘Hey, I’m gonna go hate my life over there instead.’

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Halloween candy isn’t bad for you if you keep it in a salad bowl.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not crazy, I’m just mentally spicy.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Sawing a hole in a table from underneath to steal a cake is a lot harder than cartoons would have you believe.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Probably the most depressed I’ve ever been in my life, except for a bunch of other times.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,429

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

I’ve never been to hell, but I once forgot to buy batteries for the toys on Christmas morning. The sound is still ringing in my ears.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Why is it that your clothes only get caught on the door handle when you’re in a bad mood?

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Twitter is great because you can tweet “hi” and someone will tell you you’re wrong.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

You sound unhinged. Let’s go get mugshots.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

I finally became a butterfly, and everyone’s already asking what’s next.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Mrs. Doubtfire is my favorite movie about violating a custody agreement.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Remember when we had to smack the TV because the channel wasn’t coming in clearly? I feel that way about far too many people.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

If you think swimming with dolphins is expensive, you should try swimming with sharks. It cost me an arm and a leg!

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Of course, because I’m wearing a white shirt, my coffee chose violence.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is realizing that the other person is completely stupid.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I’m not lazy, I just really enjoy doing nothing.

Just shared via Reddit:

Both my wife and my doctor said no more jumping on the bed. But they don’t get it. They don’t know what it’s like to live with the Monkey Instinct.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

Going viral on Instagram:

Typos keep me humble. Every email is a gamble.

Going viral on WeChat:

My dream is to buy a horse and race it. The horse will probably beat me but it’ll still be fun.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Girl, I’m bored. Let’s start drinking the daily recommended 10-15 cups of water.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I sent you a message telepathically and you didn’t respond. Are you mad at me?

Trending via LinkedIn:

People believe that they have brains but maybe that’s just inside their heads.

Seen just now on WeChat:

If we hadn’t made them extinct, instead of Kung Fu Panda we could have had Tae Kwon Dodo.

Just shared via Reddit:

I wonder if the fall of Rome was this stupid.

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