Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
“Well, I guess it’s tough being a freeloader when all you have to offer is unconditional love and endless entertainment. Maybe the dog is just practicing for their future career as a professional napper!”

animal, animal antics, antics, bill, dog, financial, financial woes, humor, pet, pet humor, responsibility, sigh, woes

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

It’s important to post stupid stuff so you can learn who likes you.

0

5 months ago

communication, friendship, humor, important, learn, learning, likes, media, popularity, post, self-awareness, social, social media, stuff, stupid, stupidity
When I tell a joke that doesn’t land, I follow up with a worse one to make my audience realize how good they had it with the first joke.

0

2 months ago

audience, bad, bad joke, comedy, follow, follow up, good, humor, i, joke, land, laughter, performance, punchline, realize, tell, timing, worse
I hate dealing with fresh garlic. Each individual clove with their little f***ing paperwork.

0

2 months ago

clove, cooking, fresh, frustration, garlic, hate, humor, i, little, paperwork
Women always want to marry intelligent men. What they don’t know: Intelligent men don’t want to marry.

0

2 months ago

always, dating, expectations, humor, intelligent, intelligent man, irony, know, love, man, marry, men, relationship, want, women
It’s scary when an attractive person is attracted to you, omg.

0

5 months ago

attraction, attractive, attractive person, awkward, awkward moment, crush, dating, fear, humor, moment, OMG, person, scary
I’m on a spinning rock in outer space, and I have to answer work emails.

0

2 months ago

answer, email, emails, frustration, humor, i, outer, planet, rock, space, spinning, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

37 shares on X this month:

Some of us better hope Santa doesn’t check social media, because if he does, all we’re getting for Christmas is therapy.

18 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Walking that line between “The internet is great” and “The internet is a mistake” daily.

92 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My psych professor asked if we’d heard of Pavlov. I said, “It rings a bell.” No one laughed; I’m too witty for this class.

48 shares on Discord this month:

People tell introverts to talk more and get out of their comfort zone, but no one tells extroverts to shut up to make the zone comfortable.

41 shares on X this month:

Nothing is complicated when you’re simple-minded like me.

79 shares on X this month:

You ever want someone so bad it pisses you off a little.

18 shares on Instagram this month:

They should have a section on the wing of the plane where people can go out for a cigarette.

67 shares on YouTube this month:

Somewhere there’s a girl ignoring 15 guys for a guy who gives her no attention.

45 shares on Reddit this month:

Hike in groups. Bears like to have options.

26 shares on Messenger this month:

They should invent a person for me and me only.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

If you see me sad, just hug me and put some money in my pocket.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Microsoft Teams needs to add a “spank” reaction for when I want to reprimand my employees during a video call.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

We can do things two ways. My way or the right way.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

No longer praying on your downfall. I will be directly involved.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Main difference between me and my jokes is that folks don’t laugh at my jokes.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Maybe the problem is that I’m cooler than any man I’ve ever met.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

FaceTiming me is for platinum members only.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Tonight we shall read a passage from the old testicle.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Girlfriend is temporary, ex-girlfriend is forever.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

I’m not saying I’m messy, but if Copperfield knew what I can make disappear, he’d be jealous.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

You don’t scare me. You’re not the evil eye I get from my dog when I make him get up from the couch so I can lay down.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I made a resolution to eat better and exercise in the new year but didn’t specify which year I was referring to.

Going viral on X:

Whenever І wake up and see that someone has wrіtten a bunch of funny posts before noon, І assume they are a mornіng drіnker.

Trending via Telegram:

Coffee doesn’t solve all my problems. But it definitely stops me from constantly creating new ones.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Taking yesterday’s bad mood on a multi-day tour.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

What makes us human is selecting all images with traffic lights.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Never skip the footnotes – it’s here you find out who made the author angry enough to write the article.

Live now on Slack:

My swear jar is filing for an IPO soon.

Going viral on Discord:

AI is that friend who is always there for you but gives terrible advice.

Just shared via YouTube:

Sunday night: Super Bowl party! Monday morning: Toilet Bowl party!

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My dog sighs a lot for someone who doesn’t pay any bills.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

It’s important to post stupid stuff so you can learn who likes you.

When I tell a joke that doesn’t land, I follow up with a worse one to make my audience realize how good they had it with the first joke.

I hate dealing with fresh garlic. Each individual clove with their little f***ing paperwork.

Women always want to marry intelligent men. What they don’t know: Intelligent men don’t want to marry.

It’s scary when an attractive person is attracted to you, omg.

I’m on a spinning rock in outer space, and I have to answer work emails.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨