Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who needs a therapist when you have a generous employer like that? 🤑 Say goodbye to those expensive coping mechanisms and hello to financial stability! 💸 #EmployerGoals"

afford, alcohol, caring, drug, employer, humor, i, pay, poorly, problem, salary, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I hope you can hear me thinking about you.

2 months ago

communication, hear, hope, humor, i, me, relationship, thinking
A pretty girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

6 hours ago

compliment, flattery, girl, humor, me, pretty, pretty girl, self-confidence, should, sitting, sky, star
When does hibernation actually begin? I wanna take part this year.

3 months ago

activity, fun, fun activity, hibernation, humor, i, participation, sleep, take, take part, winter, year
I think the real reason this generation is so angry is that their music sucks.

2 months ago

anger, angry, critique, entertainment, generation, humor, i, music, real, reason, sucks, think
For Halloween, I will be okay.

3 months ago

Halloween, holiday, humor, i, okay, reassurance
I have three full closets of nothing to wear.

3 months ago

closet, dilemma, fashion, full, humor, i, nothing, outfit, shopping, wear

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on Threads this month:

Hell, yes, I work out. Somebody has to support the ibuprofen industry.

11 shares on YouTube this month:

I absolutely hate being woken from a nap. There were other treadmills in the gym that dude could have used.

59 shares on Threads this month:

Contrary to what we currently believe, we don’t choose afternoon naps. Afternoon naps choose us.

19 shares on Slack this month:

Trying to spend less time on my phone so I can get back to something I’ve loved since childhood: watching TV.

51 shares on Facebook this month:

Hey, can I get an ETA on that “this too shall pass”?

34 shares on Facebook this month:

I haven’t broken a mirror lately, but my water broke and I’ve had seven years of kids crawling into my bed.

92 shares on Discord this month:

If you’re cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and continue to participate in family game night.

53 shares on X this month:

Through repetition and sheer will I’ve mastered gracefully falling on my head.

87 shares on Messenger this month:

Kinda miss being a child and wondering why the moon follows me.

89 shares on WhatsApp this month:

As long as I’m alive, I can begin again and again and again, again and again and again, again and again and again.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

Someone asked me if I had plans for the fall. It took me a moment to realize they meant “Autumn,” not the collapse of civilization.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

If I were a bird, I know who I’d poop on.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

If you’re wondering how motherhood is going, I’m watching a TV show and someone is in traction with a full body cast and I sighed and said “That looks so relaxing”

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

I’ll rewind a movie, get on my phone, and miss the same part.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

I love when men remind me I’m evil because sometimes I be thinking I’m losing my spark.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

Statistically speaking, on average, a person has two arms, two legs, one testicle, and one ovary.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Eat whatever you want. If someone calls you fat, eat them too.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

What if the universe wasn’t infinite or finite, but a secret third thing?

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

I love being outside, just not when it’s too cold or too hot or too wet or too windy or if there are bugs.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

If life has taught me one thing, it’s that I need more money.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Whenever my Mother-in-Law’s stories end with “And I turned out OK” I’m looking around like who’s gonna tell her.

Freshly posted on X:

They should invent a weekend that goes by slowly.

Going viral on Messenger:

Lady on the streets, Cheeto crumbs in my sheets.

Going viral on Threads:

Police officer: please step out of your vehicle. Me: after this song, hold on.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Shaved my entire body for this post, just in case.

Shared recently on Discord:

Getting a girlfriend is actually very easy, you just have to spin a basketball on your finger.

Breaking via X:

You ever liked a song so much you restart it before it even finishes?

Spotted on Threads:

Sorry, I’m late. I was trying to convince a bathroom hand dryer that I exist.

Going viral on Telegram:

“How is the job search going?” First of all, that is a violent question. And it hurts me, by the way. And second, how the hell should I know.

Just shared via Facebook:

The inner child in me is open-mouth coughing on the inner child in you.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My employer is totally caring. They pay so poorly that I can’t afford to have an alcohol or drug problem.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I hope you can hear me thinking about you.

A pretty girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

When does hibernation actually begin? I wanna take part this year.

I think the real reason this generation is so angry is that their music sucks.

For Halloween, I will be okay.

I have three full closets of nothing to wear.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨