My employer is totally caring. They pay so poorly that I can’t afford to have an alcohol or drug problem.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Don’t tell me about your wild weekend. My TV remote died and I switched the batteries around, and now it’s working.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

More dangerous than a lion that roars is a woman gone silent.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Ears are great for tucking your hair behind in the wind. Big shout out to ears.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

The History Channel, because where else are you going to learn about how aliens were instrumental in the development of humanity?

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

I’m so single, I have no one to drunk text.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

I don’t understand my wardrobe. It’s full, but I don’t have clothes.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

There’s no reason to be bored flying on an airplane. Use the time to tell the person next to you your entire life story.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

Everyone’s a gangster until they see a rainbow.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

I love airports because the rules of society don’t apply. Eat a pizza and have a glass of wine at 7 am while in track pants. Nobody cares.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Horoscope: You will give blood generously this week, but it won’t be your idea.