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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Gender is a just a scam made by big bathroom companies to sell more bathrooms.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

After a lot of experience, I can conclude that one can never actually cross “washing dishes” off the to-do list.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Sorry, can’t. The pears I bought a couple days ago have ripened.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

“You handled that with such grace” are words that have never been spoken to me.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Teach a man to fish, and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach your kid about stingrays, and he will pretend to sting you all afternoon.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Bought a pair of night vision goggles so that I can easily find the fridge at night without waking my wife.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Marriage is 33.3% hiding to eat snacks because you and your spouse are supposed to be on a diet.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

I’m not talking to my husband and I don’t think he even knows it.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Gonna go walk the beach and stare annoyingly at couples. May even growl as I pass by.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

They say time is the solution to every problem. I’ve been waiting for five hours already and the room is still messy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,647

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

I listen to a lot of white noise, so I get really excited when it rains or someone turns on a fan. It’s like seeing my favorite band live.

Freshly posted on X:

There should be a withering shamrock emoji so that people can express misfortune or Irish grief.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

A lot of people think you need a lot of money to buy clothes. And they’re right.

Making waves on Telegram:

I’m gonna be the first zoomer to start dropping the ‘two thousand’ when referring to the past. “Yeah, that was back in ‘17.”

Making waves on X:

I have more trips planned than I have money.

Freshly posted on X:

Time travel is all well and good, but I feel so stupid right now. None of them have the mustache. No way to tell which baby is Hitler.

Going viral on Twitch:

If my TV’s so smart then why doesn’t it slap me when I turn on the news?

Freshly posted on X:

I still can’t believe they named a company GoDaddy.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I don’t think either person should pay for the first date. It should be on the house.

Spotted on Discord:

After you’ve been married a long time, you become able to communicate nonverbally. At least, I’m pretty sure that’s why we never speak.

My favorite color is sunshine.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
I always knew sunshine had a great wardrobe! ☀️👗🌈

bright, cheerful, color, favorite, positivity, sunshine

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If my house is clean, just know I yelled at everyone for two hours first.

0

2 months ago

anger, clean, cleaning, cleaning motivation, everyone, family, frustration, hours, house, humor, i, just, know, motivation, yell
Absolutely no reason for a single guy to be in a sunflower field. Get out of there, pervert!

0

2 months ago

absolutely, awkward, awkward moment, field, guy, humor, moment, pervert, reason, single, single guy, situation, sunflower, sunflower field, unusual, unusual situation
I’m gonna start cursing people out but with biblical phrases like I hope your crops wither and bear no fruit and the ravens eat your mustard seeds.

0

2 months ago

bear, biblical, biblical phrases, crops, cursing, eat, fruit, hope, humor, i, insults, mustard, mustard seed, people, phrases, ravens, sarcasm, seed, seeds, start, wit
When life closes a door, just open it again. It’s a door, that’s how they work.

0

2 months ago

again, door, humor, just, life, logic, open, optimism, perspective, problem-solving, work
Do you also have teenagers whose styling motto is: freeze to death for coolness?

0

2 months ago

coolness, death, fashion, freeze, humor, styling, teenager
Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain, and most do.

0

2 months ago

complain, condemn, criticize, fool, humor, irony, self-awarenes

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on WeChat this month:

Being an adult is realizing $1000 is little money to have, but a lot to owe.

100 shares on Threads this month:

Some days you have breakfast for dinner and live life on your own terms.

71 shares on Instagram this month:

So apparently problems don’t go away if you ignore them.

30 shares on Threads this month:

I’m 45% coffee, 40% wine and 6% cheese.

30 shares on Pinterest this month:

The real reason for global warming is that today’s young people are nowhere near as cool as we were back then.

90 shares on WeChat this month:

Next to nothing is a weird place.

72 shares on Slack this month:

Yes, I’d love to learn your family card game. I’m sure it won’t be excruciating at all.

94 shares on Slack this month:

“You’re so chill.” Thanks, I gave up.

58 shares on Messenger this month:

What I lack in moves on the dance floor, I more than make up for in dancing around a conversation.

35 shares on Threads this month:

We got the Christmas tree yesterday, and now my wife knows that I was the chief architect working on the leaning tower of Pisa.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

When the past calls, don’t answer it. It has nothing new to tell you.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Waving at the end of every Zoom call like it’s the 1800s and a big steamship is leaving the harbor.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

This could have been an email. Me, while attending a wedding ceremony.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Not sure what’s longer: a microwave minute or watching a video while someone else is holding the phone, insisting it’s hilarious.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Twitter can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

If you lift the cat off the couch and it sounds like Velcro, then it didn’t want to leave.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

I love how bananas just take over the whole smoothie. You can never dim her light.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Sucking melted cheese off the burger wrapper as God intended.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Kanye is pretty mean for someone with ‘yay’ in their name.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Dogs naturally form packs, and if left undisturbed, will teach themselves how to play poker.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

My son is teaching himself Christmas songs on the trumpet, proving things can be both beautiful and annoying.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

The goth urge to live in a haunted Victorian estate and be feared by the townspeople.

Just landed via TikTok:

My toxic trait is thinking I deserve a vacation… while still on vacation.

Shared recently on Slack:

Not to brag, but I just walked upstairs and remembered why.

Breaking via Telegram:

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not exhausted, that’s just your face now.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I love when my husband says, “correct me if I’m wrong,” like I would pass up that opportunity.

Going viral on YouTube:

I have nothing in common with people who “forget to eat”.

Going viral on Messenger:

I wish my midlife crisis made me want to get a gym membership and a revenge body, but instead I’m eating Snickers for breakfast in bed.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Being insane should at least burn calories.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My favorite color is sunshine.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

If my house is clean, just know I yelled at everyone for two hours first.

Absolutely no reason for a single guy to be in a sunflower field. Get out of there, pervert!

I’m gonna start cursing people out but with biblical phrases like I hope your crops wither and bear no fruit and the ravens eat your mustard seeds.

When life closes a door, just open it again. It’s a door, that’s how they work.

Do you also have teenagers whose styling motto is: freeze to death for coolness?

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain, and most do.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨