Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Currently helping my husband look for his $20 I spent yesterday.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Talking to animals doesn’t make you crazy, hearing them talk back does.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

The older you get, the farther away your toenails are when they need a trim.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

I literally just went through something, and now I’m going through something else. What’s next?

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

I love all mythical creatures. Vampires, werewolves, unicorns, kids who listen.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

The main problem is that far too many people have far too easy access to podcast equipment.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

I think it’s very sexy of me to still move with love in a world like this.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

I hate it when I check my transactions history, and everything adds up like damn, so no one stole from me.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

I’m at a point in life where I’m just at a point.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

I have the sex drive of a potato.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,235

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Telegram:

Some days you are the table and some days you are the toe.

Going bananas on Facebook:

I’m so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed.

Going viral on Messenger:

My favorite emails are the ones that say your order has shipped.

Shared recently on Slack:

I make sure to post my political opinions after my selfies have gone viral to cull the herd.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Men be like, “You’ve been different ever since I disrespected you.”

Seen just now on Twitch:

Just gonna drink light beers today, because I don’t wanna get drunk but I do enjoy peeing 30 times.

Just shared via Reddit:

Relationship tip: Make sure you’re the crazy one.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Your posts make me wish I could forget how to read.

Shared recently on Discord:

Nobody says “boom shakalaka” like they used to.

Spotted on Pinterest:

My body is a machine that turns traumatic experiences into 10 likes on X.

My favorite color is sunshine.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
I always knew sunshine had a great wardrobe! ☀️👗🌈

bright, cheerful, color, favorite, positivity, sunshine

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Donating blood today to make room for more food.

0

2 months ago

blood, diet, donating, food, health, humor, joke, room, sacrifice, today
Gonna eat birthday cake all day because it’s someone’s birthday out there, and we’re about to celebrate together, stranger.

0

4 months ago

activity, birthday, cake, celebrate, celebration, day, eat, eating, fun, fun activity, party, stranger, together
I don’t abuse substances. I cherish and nurture them.

0

2 months ago

abuse, addiction, cherish, humor, i, nurture, substance, wit
This year, the feliz is not navidading.

0

2 weeks ago

Christmas, festive, festive season, holiday, humor, phrase, season, Spanish, Spanish phrase, wordplay, year
Being a woman is trying to guess what the hell is going on with your body three times a week.

0

2 months ago

being, body, confusion, experience, going, guess, health, hell, humor, three, times, trying, week, weekly, woman
Not to brag but this cashier is checking me out.

0

2 months ago

brag, cashier, checking, checking out, flirt, humor, joke, me, play, play on words, relationship, words

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on Messenger this month:

If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth.

23 shares on X this month:

A piece of chocolate contains just enough energy to take another one.

12 shares on Telegram this month:

Telling my parents they’re like family to me.

34 shares on Pinterest this month:

Set my sex robot to boyfriend mode and now it’s liking other girls’ pictures on Insta.

14 shares on X this month:

Please do not ask a bookworm if they are going to finish the books they have before buying more. It is very offensive in our culture.

42 shares on Messenger this month:

How do I tell Instagram I don’t want to see guys almost eaten by gators?

94 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Studies show people who like my posts are happier, smarter, and better looking than those who don’t.

57 shares on Messenger this month:

You learn a lot about someone when you marry them. For example, I learned I should have married someone else.

80 shares on Slack this month:

I wear sunglasses when I’m driving so nobody knows I’m asleep.

24 shares on X this month:

What I lack in moves on the dance floor, I more than make up for in dancing around a conversation.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

“What’s love?” Grandma sliding money into my hand like a drug dealer. Yeah, man, that’s love.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Oh, lord. I brought my mouth with me to work today and it’s all sass. Prayers, please.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Wish I came with subtitles because I mumble a lot.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Worst fears: 1. being infertile 2. being pregnant.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

“I can’t wait to go back to bed tonight!” Me, 5 minutes after waking up.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

Never get in between a girl and her fries. It’s just common sense really.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

Need a permanent vacuum for unwanted thoughts.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

As a girl, I should be allowed to speak to the moon directly.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

You can just make up words and if you say them in a Scottish accent, people will think they’re real: Looka the wee janglers on that tary bibbit.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

I can’t believe I’m supposed to obey ALL the traffic laws ALL the time.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

Some people avoid bacon for the sake of religion. I avoid religion for the sake of bacon.

Just shared via Twitch:

When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.

Trending via Twitch:

People be like “I love your energy” – then drain it.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Flirting back when you’re bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Don’t forget to overestimate your importance today.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Apparently, “I just don’t want to” is not a valid reason when your boss asks you why you’re not coming in today.

Just landed via TikTok:

My workout goals are simple: I’d just like to be able to get up off the floor without looking like a turtle trying to flip itself back over.

Broadcasted on Discord:

What do you even say when someone knocks on your bathroom stall … like, what’s the protocol?

Breaking via Pinterest:

My Native American name would be Smokes Cigarettes.

Spotted on Telegram:

Golf would be more exciting to watch if they played naked.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My favorite color is sunshine.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Donating blood today to make room for more food.

Gonna eat birthday cake all day because it’s someone’s birthday out there, and we’re about to celebrate together, stranger.

I don’t abuse substances. I cherish and nurture them.

This year, the feliz is not navidading.

Being a woman is trying to guess what the hell is going on with your body three times a week.

Not to brag but this cashier is checking me out.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨