Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

Look away from your laptop for 1 second, and MS Teams will say you left the country.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Babe, you have to believe me. I followed that porn star because I like her political views.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Traffic is the fault of the guy immediately in front of you.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

People will love you. People will hate you. And none of it will have anything to do with you.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Waiting patiently for the alien invasion.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

“Devil’s advocate” implies the existence of heaven’s prosecutor.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

“Cut my life into pieces” screamed the earthworm and threw itself in front of my spade.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Way too many low IQ conspiracy theories floating around. Give me high IQ conspiracy theories.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

I just refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good to watch.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

These days, I only use Facebook as a birthday calendar.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,658

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

I hope some dyslexic people don’t mail Satan instead of Santa.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Could you even imagine the crime rate if no one drank coffee or ate bacon.

Just landed via Reddit:

I simply accept my extreme loneliness as punishment for something I did in a past life, and don’t worry about it.

Just shared via Slack:

Airbnb should have an option if you just want to use someone’s bathroom for a few minutes.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Watched a movie on Netflix last night that was so bad, I walked out of my own house.

Just landed via YouTube:

Tonight, my poor liver has to pay again for what went wrong during the week.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I am calling on public libraries to ban the books that I borrowed and lost. We don’t need that kind of crap in the libraries.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Mister Sandman, bring me a meme. Make it the dumbest shit that I’ve ever seen.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Someone told me I’ve gained weight. I told them it was for a part in a movie. I’ve never acted in my life. Until that moment.

Going viral on Reddit:

Hear me out, a Q-Tip that doesn’t bounce out the trash can when you throw it away.

My fight or flight response has frequent flyer miles.

1 month ago

Witty quote about anxiety with a humorous take on stress and travel.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like your fight or flight response is a jet-setter! 🌍✈️ Always ready to take off at a moment's notice, even the turbulence can't shake its frequent flyer confidence. Just make sure it doesn't rack up too many points or it might upgrade to first-class panic mode! 😅

anxiety, fight, flight, flyer, frequent, frequent flyer, humor, joke, response, travel

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

13 shares on WeChat this month:

I would do absolutely anything to get 8 hours of sleep, except for going to bed 8 hours before I need to wake up.

37 shares on YouTube this month:

Dating for love isn’t working. Now I’m dating to conduct psychological experiments and collect data.

51 shares on Facebook this month:

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants.

27 shares on Threads this month:

You know it’s a fancy restaurant when you have to point at what you want on the menu because you can’t pronounce the name.

85 shares on Reddit this month:

Sundries sounds like something grandma would call scandalous underwear.

24 shares on Facebook this month:

The older I get, the more I understand why Grumpy Old Men exist.

48 shares on Snapchat this month:

You could go camping or you could stay at home, not shower, leave dirt on the floor and let some squirrels in.

14 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m liking your IG photo from 8 days ago because IG just showed me today!

53 shares on YouTube this month:

It scares me when you stay up late, like 3 a.m., and you hear a car go down the road, like, where are you going?

99 shares on Twitch this month:

Pitching a sitcom where all the top people running a major city have been arrested and by chain of command the person in charge is now a librarian.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t want to be dramatic, but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

If the earth was flat, many people would have already jumped off it.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

At 20, I was unstoppable; at 30, I’m just unstartable.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I know you miss me. The tarot lady on TikTok just told me.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I just sneezed and farted at the same time. I think my body just took a screenshot.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Ancient Egyptians used to worship cats and write on walls, a practice we still continue to do today on the Internet.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I do believe in aliens, but do they also believe in me?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I would reset the clock on your microwave for you.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing makes me feel more powerful than when I write ‘furthermore’ in an email.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a few minutes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,387

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Someone at work had a 25-year anniversary, and it took everything in me not to say she’s been working longer than I’ve been alive.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

You don’t become cooler with age, but you do care progressively less about being cool, which is the only true way of being cool. This is called the Geezer’s Paradox.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Don’t talk to me about regrets if you’ve never had someone’s name tattooed on you.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

While the optimist and pessimist argued about the glass of water, the opportunist drank it.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

Hide and seek, except it’s my husband searching for where he last put his pants.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

WhatsApp needs to remove that “this message was deleted” notification. It’s unnecessary drama.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Imagine applying for a job, then not picking up calls from random numbers.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Welcome to Twitter, where everyone is an expert on everything.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

I love single sign-on because you only have to sign on once, 8 times a day.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

I can’t keep up anymore. Happy birthday to everyone for the rest of your life.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

Starting is the hardest part. Unless it’s eating chocolate. Then stopping is the hardest part.

Just landed via Messenger:

According to my chocolate advent calendar, tomorrow is Christmas.

Live now on Reddit:

I love unfollowing people. You have displeased me for the last time. Leave my sight.

Seen just now on Threads:

Source? It was revealed to me on a walk.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Always keep a dog eared book on your nightstand so that people think you know how to read.

Going bananas on X:

Remember before social media you would have to pick up the phone and call someone to tell them how much you love bacon?

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Brain, I know you’re trying hard, but you are not doing a good job.

Spotted on Slack:

Life begins when you can afford it.

Spotted on TikTok:

I love men with a provider fetish.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Having to pee really puts things into perspective. Like, OK, none of this matters.

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