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Ah, the elusive mind – known to wander off on spontaneous adventures, leaving behind a trail of forgotten thoughts and lost ideas. One can only hope it returns with a thrilling tale or at least a souvenir from its escapades in the great unknown of forgetfulness!

comedy, distraction, humor, leave, mind, thought, wander

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I will selflessly protect my family from a life of diabetes by eating all the sweets myself.

2 months ago

diabetes, eating, family, humor, i, life, myself, sacrifice, selflessness, sweets
I want a man who doesn’t annoy me while I’m constantly getting on his nerves. It can’t be that difficult.

1 month ago

annoy, difficult, expectations, getting, humor, i, man, me, nerf, relationship, want
Laxatives help you live up to your full pooptential.

2 months ago

digestive, full, health, help, humor, joke, laxatif, live, pooptential
There are risks you take when camping: severe weather, wild animals, someone bringing an acoustic guitar.

2 months ago

activity, animals, camping, guitar, humor, outdoor, outdoor activity, risks, someone, take, weather, wild
Gordon Ramsay is making us dinner. It’s a four curse meal.

2 months ago

chef, cooking, curse, dinner, gordon, Gordon Ramsay, humor, making, meal, ramsay
Diet Coke so crisp I moaned.

1 month ago

beverage, coke, crisp, diet, Diet Coke, drink, humor, i, moan, refreshment, soda

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

I love that my dog always comes home from the groomer wearing a bandana. It’s like he was only gone for three hours, but joined a gang in that time.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

I’m so lazy that I’ll break my tooth trying to get this tag off before I get up and get a scissor.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

By 30, you should have settled down with an addiction that works for your lifestyle, no second guessing. You go to work, come home, and [addiction].

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Do you ever wake up in the morning and you’re just like… no.

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There are two types of people in the world, those who have to go to Walmart, and those who get to go to Walmart.

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I may have bags under my eyes, but they’re Versace.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

I just think we should kiss. And kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss. But that’s just me.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

When someone giving me directions says, “You can’t miss it,” I would love to tell them just how wrong they were if I could find my way back to them.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Avoid calls from pesky bill collectors by not paying your phone bill.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Of course I stay hydrated. Carbohydrated.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I don’t flirt, I just say weird things and hope something sticks.

Seen just now on Discord:

A moment of silence for everything I have to do but am not doing.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Dollar Tree need to just go ahead and change the name to Tree of Unexpected Prices.

Breaking via Threads:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I never wanted to download the Microsoft Authenticator app on my personal phone to access every professional platform necessary to do my job.

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My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely!

I will selflessly protect my family from a life of diabetes by eating all the sweets myself.

I want a man who doesn’t annoy me while I’m constantly getting on his nerves. It can’t be that difficult.

Laxatives help you live up to your full pooptential.

There are risks you take when camping: severe weather, wild animals, someone bringing an acoustic guitar.

Gordon Ramsay is making us dinner. It’s a four curse meal.

Diet Coke so crisp I moaned.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Always stay crazy. Otherwise you’ll go crazy.

Whoever removed the 30th and 31st from February, come get the 14th too.

50 is the new 30. Because it takes 50 bucks to buy what 30 used to.

I just lost all my tabs. Only now do I understand the tragedy that was the burning of the Library of Alexandria.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

You can’t convince me that 2020 didn’t open a portal to hell that we’re still living in.

Your soulmate wouldn’t do you like that, by the way.

I have high standards for dating because I’m a high-quality woman, and you wouldn’t want me any other way.

Imagine working at Pornhub. At like the corporate office as a developer or whatever. White collar. That’s gotta be a weird job. Working there has gotta be bloody weird.

Call me a glitch, cause I’m definitely messing with your system.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

The only team building exercise we had when I started working was called “Happy Hour.”

Love Island is fun, but when is Job Island on?

Pretty messed up that my body, a chemistry lab made of meat, simply chooses to make me feel a little bit nervous for no reason.

The older I get, the more I understand why roosters just scream to start their day.

I didn’t mean to gain weight. It happened by snaccident.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I wonder if babies know that we are more terrified of them than they are of us.

The reason my eyes are dilated is because I am so attracted to you, officer.

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at intimacy.

The lion does not concern himself with attaching a cover letter.

Not to brag, but I ate all of my bananas before they turned brown. Don’t be jealous.

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My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely!

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I will selflessly protect my family from a life of diabetes by eating all the sweets myself.

I want a man who doesn’t annoy me while I’m constantly getting on his nerves. It can’t be that difficult.

Laxatives help you live up to your full pooptential.

There are risks you take when camping: severe weather, wild animals, someone bringing an acoustic guitar.

Gordon Ramsay is making us dinner. It’s a four curse meal.

Diet Coke so crisp I moaned.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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