Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Why a bug would spend such a long fraction of its short life immobile on my ceiling beats me.
  • You can’t change your past but you can change your pasta.
  • I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror this morning, so I guess once again my personality will be doing all the work today.
  • THRILLED to announce I did an Ironman this weekend! Attended 3 social gatherings in 3 days.
  • You misunderstood me. I said I was a “bawler,” not a “baller.” You know, someone who cries a lot.
  • My husband keeps borrowing and losing my tweezers, so I’m naming this chin hair after him.