16 funny brother quotes - Wordgag

Hulk Hogan’s gone, so I’ll be ripping shirts and screaming “BROTHERRR!” at strangers in his honor.

May 18, 2026

“Work smarter, not harder.” Brother, I’m not doing either of those things.

May 18, 2026

Christmas is a very special time when I give my brother a $100 gift card, and he gives me a $100 gift card.

Apr 1, 2026

Let the kids believe in Santa. I believed the Undertaker and Kane were brothers.

Apr 1, 2026

For a guy supposedly called my “brother,” I’ve never seen him make broth even once.

Apr 1, 2026

Brother: What are you bringing to Thanksgiving dinner? Me: Wine and unresolved issues. They pair nicely.

Apr 1, 2026

My mom asked me to hand out invitations for my brother’s surprise birthday party, and that’s when I realized he was the favorite twin.

Mar 31, 2026

Bruce Lee had a faster older brother named Sudden Lee.

Mar 29, 2026

I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance: waiting for the bathroom.

Mar 28, 2026

Refusing to attend my brother’s gambling intervention until they agree to call it a slot shaming.

Mar 27, 2026

“Your account balance is low!” Brother, wait until you see my will to live.

Mar 26, 2026

My sister: snowboards. My brother: skateboards. Me: charcuterie boards.

Mar 25, 2026

“I don’t do politics.” Politics will do you, my brother and sister. Politics will do you like mad.

Mar 25, 2026

Nobody victim blames more than my oldest son when he’s in trouble for punching his little brother.

Mar 25, 2026

My mother still has some really ugly things from the 90s. My older brother, for example.

Mar 24, 2026

Sorry I can’t come today. My sister’s friend’s mother’s grandpa’s brother’s grandson’s uncle’s fish died, and it was tragic.

Mar 23, 2026