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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Most people prefer lies. The truth just hits them like a WiFi outage, and then they just stand there, confused and buffering.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

My son got braces today. Yay, he’s not going to be a teenage dad.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

“New password cannot be your old password” makes me so mad.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

If you tell me to watch until the end, the end better be in five seconds.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

I don’t need the web for attention, I jog in a wedding dress.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

We argue about where to go for dinner for so long, it eventually becomes an argument on where to go for breakfast.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

Your email finds me deeply unwell. Teetering on the edge really.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

I wish religion made people nicer to each other.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

Life is just a sequence of missed opportunities.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

You should be able to donate somebody else’s body to science.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2266 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,428

Funny Quotes Topics

15,132

Funny Quotes Images

12,428

Updated

37 minutes ago

Users Online

3,453

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

They hooked up tubes and sensors, but the doctor still can’t figure out why my kisses are so sweet. They want to hold me overnight and “never let go.”

Going viral on TikTok:

I like how people say “manage your depression,” like it’s a stock portfolio, but you’re heavily invested in sadness.

Freshly posted on Slack:

There’s two sides to every story, and then there’s these screenshots I got.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I’m not shaking hands anymore. You may bow or kneel down.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Nobody is meaner to me than me. So take your shot.

Going viral on TikTok:

Robots eating a bowl of cereal that’s actually a bunch of nuts and bolts, you don’t see that as much anymore.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I’ve folded seven page corners of the book I’m reading. That’s 49 in dog ears.

Just shared via Messenger:

If a beer is 8 bucks, it’s a show. If a beer is 14 bucks, it’s a concert.

Just landed via YouTube:

Note to self: No more bitching about ugly furniture with people at IKEA whose home you haven’t been to yet.

Spotted on Reddit:

I refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good on TV.

My new drivers license arrived and when I opened it, I gasped. How’d they get a picture of my mother?

My new drivers license arrived and when I opened it, I gasped. How’d they get a picture of my mother?
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like the DMV decided to sneak in a little surprise for you! 😂👵 Who knew your mom's genes were so strong, even in a photo ID! 📸 #Twinsies"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2266 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,428

Funny Quotes Topics

15,132

Funny Quotes Images

12,428

Updated

37 minutes ago

Users Online

3,434

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

The global energy crisis could be solved if only we could harness the power of my wife slamming my car door.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

After having a week off, my boss returns to work today. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

I really thought adulthood would be 50% freedom and 50% fun. Turns out it’s 100% bills.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

I’m gonna dress how I want this summer, and if you think I’m fat, well, so do I.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Stealing hoodies is for amateurs. Steal his car like a real woman.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

That “so we done?” be saving the relationship every time.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Why didn’t Scooby Doo smell that the ghosts were human?

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

I’m so lucky people can’t hear what I’m thinking.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

We were never supposed to have this much access to stupid people’s thoughts, beliefs, and opinions.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

I’m trying to be awesome today, but I’m too exhausted from being so awesome yesterday.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

I’m glad it’s not snowing. I can’t imagine shoveling snow in this heat.

Just shared via X:

I am convinced that at least half of you are bots.

Just landed via Telegram:

Experts say that human interaction is important for brain health but I’m willing to risk it.

Just shared via TikTok:

You guys can continue with the week, I’ve stopped here.

Shared recently on X:

Holiday dinners with family are like real life boss levels with the worst loot.

Making waves on Telegram:

Got me some lemons now for the cold. I hope the tequila helps.

Spotted on Slack:

Told my girl I’m tired of her dramas and she bought me an energy drink.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Welcome to your 50s, where coffee is the new happy hour and mornings are the new hangover.

Just shared via Reddit:

“Mom, how did we get so rich?” your father said, “Thanks, nothing from my end,” on thousands of important Zoom meetings.

Going viral on Discord:

First date idea: we deactivate your Instagram.

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