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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

“Delusional” ain’t a strong enough word to describe people anymore.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

Divorce is so weird. Why do I have an ex-aunt?

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

I let my cat smell every wine I drink so she can get a job as a sommelier and help pay my rent.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

I don’t have a new year resolution, you don’t need that when you’re perfect.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Maybe there’s an alternate universe where onions cry when they chop up humans, you don’t know.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Please solve a murder to prove you’re not a bot.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

If you ever find yourself as a houseguest for an extended period of time, here is the golden rule for success: invisible by day, charming by night.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Santa baby, slip some mental stability under the tree, for me.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Somebody somewhere today don’t know it’s their last day with all 10 fingers.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Do you ever wake up in the morning and you’re just like… no.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2402 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,564

Funny Quotes Topics

15,241

Funny Quotes Images

12,564

23 minutes ago

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

Pretty sure I need to go back to bed and sleep for 3 days.

Seen just now on Instagram:

As you get older, nothing loses its sting more than an authority figure saying they are disappointed in you. Like, I don’t know what to tell you, dude, we can’t both live in the prison of your expectations.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

There’s a rhyming Italian expression for saying “take it or leave it” that goes “o mangi questa minestra o salti dalla finestra”. It means “either eat this soup or throw yourself out the window”.

Spotted on Messenger:

My child has entered the “Why?” stage of linguistic development, and I’ve realized I know absolutely nothing.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

She was my chai, I was her cake rusk.

Just shared via X:

Imagine if spiders giggled when they ran away from us.

Reported on Discord:

Laziness is the mother of all bad habits, but ultimately she is a mother, and we should respect her.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

My big 3? Yapping, napping & snacking!

Just landed via Discord:

If I was a microplastic, I would simply not go in the ocean or anyone’s mouth.

Just landed via Discord:

Sorry I can’t come today. My sister’s friend’s mother’s grandpa’s brother’s grandson’s uncle’s fish died, and it was tragic.

My taste in music ranges from “You’ve gotta listen to this” to “I know, please don’t judge me.”

4 months ago

My taste in music ranges from “You’ve gotta listen to this” to “I know, please don’t judge me.”

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Oh, the joy of having a music taste that's as unpredictable as the weather forecast! 🎶 One minute you're the DJ hero, introducing everyone to hidden gems, and the next you're the embarrassed party-goer praying no one finds out about your guilty pleasure playlists. 🙈 Who knew musical rollercoasters could be this entertaining! 🎵😄 #MusicalWhiplash"

guilty, guilty pleasure, humor, i, judge, judgment, listen, listening, me, music, pleasure, range, taste

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2402 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,564

Funny Quotes Topics

15,241

Funny Quotes Images

12,564

23 minutes ago

3,452

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

If you play guitar in a band, always make sure to look like it hurts to play.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

The real challenge of adulthood is figuring out what to eat every day.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Silicon Valley has taken over the world. Remember when nerds had the good manners to be ashamed of themselves?

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Being naked with shoes on feels more naked than being totally naked.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

After my funeral, I want one of my friends to take my phone and text everyone, “Thanks for coming.”

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Yes, I upload photos with filters because I want to look good. If you want to see the ugly side of me, come to my house.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Starting conversations with short people by saying “back when I was your height…”

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Ah coffee. The sweet balm by which we shall accomplish today’s tasks.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Be so funny that everyone forgets that you are ugly!

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

When someone tells me “They could care less”, instead of the proper “I couldn’t care less”, I always say “At least you care.”

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

Want to know what someone is really like? Play Monopoly with them.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Do animals have celebrities? Like, do birds all recognize that one bird who sings really well?

Making waves on Messenger:

Don’t donate your plasma. It’s a big scam and they’re just using it to make TVs.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Quality women really do attract everyone. A bright light always attracts all types of bugs.

Breaking via Snapchat:

If you look close enough, everyone is insane.

Live now on Instagram:

Even my imaginary friend got bored and left me a note saying ‘we should see other people’

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Taking off my house pajamas to put on my errands pajamas.

Breaking via WeChat:

I’m so single. When they ask me for an emergency contact, I put the neighbor’s dog.

Just shared via Messenger:

The plant app says that I either watered my plant too much or not enough. Very helpful. Thanks!

Just landed via Snapchat:

The older I get, the more I understand why Grumpy Old Men exist.

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