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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

You’re so productive for your wage.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Only at 27 do you become old, and then when you turn 30, you become younger than ever. That’s just how it goes.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

I always have a cheap bottle of wine in the house in case any family visit.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

I don’t understand why banks get so mad when you can’t pay back your loan. You already knew I had no money when I came to borrow it.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

The list of women who haven’t slept with me is really impressive.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

If you like true crime stories, I highly recommend the history of the Catholic Church.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

“I asked Grok.” “I asked ChatGPT.” Well, I asked R2D2, and he said you’re a loser.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Pouring an ice-cold glass of anxiety.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

None of this matters and we are all going to die. Have a great weekend!

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

I miss when my hardest decision was Nickelodeon or Cartoon Network.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,642

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

If I walk into a girl’s house and she got like 50 plants, I know she’s a keeper because she already takes care of a bunch of useless things. What’s one more?

Making waves on Facebook:

Looking forward to another year of crushing reality and unfulfilled dreams.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

If you’re feeling a little uneasy about the state of global geopolitics, remember to spend as much time on your phone as possible. The more information you ingest as you scroll, the calmer you will become.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I think I may need professional help. A chef, a butler and a maid should do it!

Just landed via Reddit:

It’s Mother’s Day Eve so remember to leave out a bottle of wine for Mom when she comes down the chimney.

Making waves on WeChat:

To all the people with grammatical issues, don’t worry, I also have problems with badly timed periods.

Just shared via Slack:

Whoever said “out of sight out of mind” never lost a spider in the bedroom.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Odd—my boss told me to meet him at the abandoned quarry at midnight for my performance evaluation.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Guy on the day of the 1918 armistice, walking around the trench, clapping, saying things like “Great work, everyone,” and “We did it, team.”

Trending via Discord:

I speak my mind, cause it hurts when I bite my tongue.

NFTs were less about the money and more about the friends you scammed along the way.

Funny quote about NFT culture highlighting scams and friendships with a witty twist.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like NFTs turned into 'Non-Fungible Treacheries'! 😂🎨💸 Sorry pals, apparently friendship wasn't as 'immutable' as the blockchain after all! #NFTs #CryptoScams"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

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Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on Pinterest this month:

I haven’t broken a mirror lately, but my water broke and I’ve had seven years of kids crawling into my bed.

15 shares on Instagram this month:

More foods should have boats, why should gravy have all the fun?

41 shares on YouTube this month:

Perks of dating me: you will be the hot one.

27 shares on WeChat this month:

Just saw onto the sidelines, they literally have enough footballs for all the players, they’re making them fight over that one for no reason.

36 shares on Telegram this month:

Sometimes the universe puts you in the same situations again to see if you’re still an idiot.

29 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I think probably the reason some people look better at 30 than at 20 is because they’re wealthier.

47 shares on Messenger this month:

I could never be in the mafia, those guys stay up way to late.

29 shares on Discord this month:

Finally got around to emptying the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something started its independence movement in there.

57 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I hate the sounds you make when you chew.

88 shares on Reddit this month:

Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies if you cook bacon and bake cookies?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone is using AI to write business emails, texts, etc. At this point in time, we may as well just tell our AIs to talk to each other and then let us know what kind of deal they worked out.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Do you think I’ll read a book again at some point or will I continue to dumb myself down with 12 hours of screen time?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Life begins when you can afford it.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

People out there having five-year plans, and here I am waking up just hoping I remember what day it is.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not going to die because of an accident. Nor because of an illness. But from small talk. Someone will say one boring sentence too many and I’ll drop dead.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

“Tom Cruise does his own stunts!” Okay cool, but so do I.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Why sleep when you can stay up all night overthinking?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Kinda messed up that the government knows my birthday but never sends me a gift or anything.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

“Don’t bring a knife to a gun fight!” Okay, then explain bayonets to me.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Sharpening a pencil at the bin was the childhood equivalent of taking a cigarette break.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,597

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Going to hack Kanye’s account and make him post something normal.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Sure, I could get off the couch today, but then what?

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

A drone, but for seeing which fast food drive-thrus have the shortest line.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Ruin a perfectly nice trip out with your child by bringing your child.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Whoever removed the 30th and 31st from February, come get the 14th too.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

It’s too bad he never woke up and chose violence. “Bob Ross, mob boss” has a nice ring to it.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

The good news: once you get a PhD, friends and family will refer to you as doctor. The bad news: They will only do it when you’re wrong.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

It’s like my therapist always says, that’ll be $175.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

I love reaching into my messy bag looking for something and everyone around me hears like glass breaking and bombs going off and a cat meowing from inside there.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Due to personal reasons, I will be screaming into a pillow.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

These days, I only use Facebook as a birthday calendar.

Spotted on Threads:

My AI-generated girlfriend is hotter than your real girlfriend.

Just landed via Threads:

Channeling my inner forest ghost: hauntingly fabulous and slightly lost.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Not to brag, but I just stood up without making a sound. Don’t be jealous.

Going bananas on X:

The elderberry is the wisest and most knowledgeable of all the berries.

Seen just now on Messenger:

If you think about it, Santa really has the best job, he works one day a year and spends the rest of his time judging people.

Breaking via Messenger:

Adulting is difficult. One minute you’re proud of yourself, the next minute you feel like you’re not doing enough.

Going viral on Discord:

Person in murder documentary: This is a small town. Things like this don’t happen here. Me: Um, based on the shows I watch, that’s all that happens in small towns.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Wife asked if I could stop singing Wonderwall. I said maybe…

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Born to say “Who the hell raised you to be this stupid.” Forced to work in groups.

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