Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Sorry, I have a strict 'no ghost chat' policy 🚫👻 Who has time for spirits when dealing with the drama of the living? 😂 #GhostDialIgnore"

avoidance, ghost, humor, i, interaction, living, remark, seance, social, social interaction, talk, want, witty, witty remark

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

It’s crazy people waste their time with hobbies and family when there are strangers on the internet who need to be argued with.

0

2 months ago

argue, crazy, family, hobby, internet, need, people, stranger, strangers, time, waste
Daily reminder that you’re biologically programmed to get laid, eat good food, connect with other humans, and enjoy yourself. Everything else is literally made up.

0

2 months ago

advice, biologically, biology, connect, connection, daily, eat, else, enjoy, enjoyment, everything, food, fun, good, human, human connection, humans, humor, laid, life, life advice, literally, motivation, reminder, yourself
Love when job applications ask for my desired salary so I can choose between not being hired and being exploited for my work.

0

3 months ago

application, ask, being, choose, employment, exploitation, humor, i, job, job application, job search, love, salary, search, work
When they make a Hate Island, somebody link me.

0

2 months ago

commentary, hate, humor, island, link, Love Island, me, sarcasm, social, social commentary, somebody
Remember when we had to smack the TV because the channel wasn’t coming in clearly? I feel that way about far too many people.

0

2 months ago

channel, communication, feel, frustration, humor, i, nostalgia, people, remember, smack, technology, too, TV
Due to personal reasons, I’m evil now.

0

3 months ago

attitude, change, due, evil, humor, personal, personal reason, personality, personality change, reason, reasons

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Why is there so much day left at the end of my patience?

87 shares on Discord this month:

Brain, I know you’re trying hard, but you are not doing a good job.

12 shares on Telegram this month:

I made you something special for Mother’s Day, my kid threatened.

72 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t want to brag but I found a recipe online, and then within three weeks not only made the recipe, but closed the tab on my browser.

99 shares on Instagram this month:

Nothing is impossible, except for my daughter returning home with the hat and gloves she wore to school this morning.

58 shares on Facebook this month:

When the grocery store moves the aisles around, you should be able to call the cops.

76 shares on X this month:

Writers should get a direct line to the FBI so we can call them and give them a heads up when we’re googling ways to poison someone but just for a story.

79 shares on Facebook this month:

Have you ever pretended not to look at the biscuits or sweets being handed around the room, and acted surprised when you got offered one?

41 shares on Messenger this month:

Roses are red, I’m staying in bed. I’ve made no plans, besides pretending I’m dead.

63 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If you finish every sentence with “as the prophecy foretold”, your coworkers will leave you alone.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

I had the most impatient and rudest cashier. I’m never using self-checkout again.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

It’s like ten thousand tweets when all you need is a life.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

I assume my soulmate has sold his soul to the devil.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

I wish I was a kid again so everyone would be proud of me for taking a long nap.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Heard a recording of my own voice, and now I can never speak again.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Being liked at work comes with so many perks, you could be late as hell, and everyone is just happy to see you.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Don’t wait for later to eat the cake. Do it now, before another mammal of your household finds it.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

On my way to HR again for nicknaming my coworker “Mastercard” because they take credit for other people’s work.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

I hope “be the light you want to see in the world” doesn’t refer to Molotov Cocktails.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

The worst thing about wearing headphones is when you hallucinate people shouting you. Like, why does this happen?

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

I forgot the word “espresso” so I asked the barista for a smaller, angrier coffee.

Making waves on Instagram:

Taylor Swift should write a song about when your sleeves keep rolling down every time you wash the dishes.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Being a goldfish must be brilliant. Every six seconds you’re pleasantly surprised to find that you live in a castle.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Drugs and alcohol take years off your life and give them to Keith Richards.

Making waves on Facebook:

Every time I have to leave the house and be around people I remember why I hate having to leave the house and be around people.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Bro, you will never rewatch that 7-minute video you took of fireworks. Just live in the moment.

Going viral on Twitch:

It’s amazing how music can transport you to another place. For example, this coffee shop is playing Justin Bieber, so I’m going to another restaurant.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I can’t take people who pronounce “gnocchi” correctly seriously.

Going viral on Messenger:

Always be kind. You never know who might own a jacuzzi.

Just landed via Reddit:

The best part about having a crush is when they crush all your hopes and dreams.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

No, I won’t be attending your seance, I barely want to talk to the living.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

It’s crazy people waste their time with hobbies and family when there are strangers on the internet who need to be argued with.

Daily reminder that you’re biologically programmed to get laid, eat good food, connect with other humans, and enjoy yourself. Everything else is literally made up.

Love when job applications ask for my desired salary so I can choose between not being hired and being exploited for my work.

When they make a Hate Island, somebody link me.

Remember when we had to smack the TV because the channel wasn’t coming in clearly? I feel that way about far too many people.

Due to personal reasons, I’m evil now.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨