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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

8 planets, 204 countries, thousands of islands, 7 seas, 8 billion people, and I’m single.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Just because I loved you at one point doesn’t mean I will always love you. I’m not Whitney Houston.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

I’ve decided to handle this like a mature adult, I’m telling your mom.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

I was feeling kinda lonely this morning so I glued a coffee cup to the top of my car so people would wave at me.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Girl math is crying for two hours and then realizing it wasn’t that deep.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

I hope this email keeps you awake at night.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Yes, I do talk to myself, everyone else just wants to argue with me.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

All I’m dealing with is broken people. Lord, if I’m a mechanic, please tell me.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

I’m starting to think that the secret to having a happy life is avoiding people.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

If you’re a man and don’t feel well or are going through something tough, just remember no one cares.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,652

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Messenger:

When life hands me lemons, I put them in the fridge next to the bagged salad I’m also not going to eat.

Live now on Instagram:

I have been so toxic and horny lately, I should probably start, like, reading a book or something.

Breaking via Slack:

Who you are before you have your coffee is the real you.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I have some fart jokes I’ve been holding in.

Breaking via YouTube:

What you call “Brunch” I call “Breakfast for Alcoholics.”

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Randomly hearing your favorite song is more satisfying than putting it on yourself.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Listen kid, I have social media profiles older than you.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Oh, to be a rich, beautiful woman in her big car, driving to buy overpriced groceries to stock up her breathtaking kitchen in her gorgeous house.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I can’t believe I used to think I was stressed in high school.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Marriage is like a phone call at the night: First there’s the ring, and then you wake up.

“No idea” doesn’t mean I don’t know the answer. I just don’t want to have a conversation.

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Commentary:
"Oh, the classic 'no idea' defense strategy – a stellar way to avoid small talk and awkward social interactions without coming off as completely clueless! 😏🤷‍♂️ Who knew being vague could be such a power move?💡"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

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Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on Threads this month:

Sugar held my hand through every breakup.

68 shares on WeChat this month:

I postpone certain outfits until I get a certain hairstyle because, yes, it’s that deep.

93 shares on Twitch this month:

Being able to tolerate the sound of your own voice in a video is probably the highest form of self-acceptance.

81 shares on WeChat this month:

The urge to say “yeah, you should do that”, especially when you have no clue.

33 shares on Facebook this month:

I’ve realized there’s more to life than social media, so I guess this is goodbye for the next 12 minutes.

90 shares on WeChat this month:

Thank you for your password, now we are going to text you another password, then put that one in. Click ‘remember this computer’ so we can forget it.

93 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m bad at being sad. Three mins later, I’m making jokes about my situation.

52 shares on Messenger this month:

“Do it scared!” Thanks, but I have done everything scared. When is it my turn to do it calm?

95 shares on Discord this month:

There could be a ghost aggressively breakdancing beside you right now and you’d have no idea.

14 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Adding “scroll for two hours” to my To-Do list, so I won’t do it.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I was dropped as an adult.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Elevator rides in real life: 30 seconds long. Elevator rides in movies: Two minutes long.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The downside of common sense is, having to deal with those that lack it.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Not the sharpest cheddar on the charcuterie board.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

We should make a new internet that’s as hard to use as the old internet was, so anyone that’s too stupid to have used the internet 20 years ago can’t get on it.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I have a man cold. Goodbye, world. Tell my story.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry for what I said when I was drunk. I meant every word.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

People say, “Listen to your heart, do the right thing,” like they are the same things.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I decided to be me and now we have a problem.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope this email keeps you awake at night.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,651

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

These days, you gotta have a job for the bills and another job for yourself.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Playing dumb for five minutes often saves a lot of work.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

If swimming is such good exercise, explain whales.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Don’t tell me what to do unless you are naked.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

I don’t want flying cars, I want the ability to start again from my last save point.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

I think it broke my boyfriend’s heart when I said he couldn’t have Salma Hayek for Valentine’s Day.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Love when job applications ask for my desired salary so I can choose between not being hired and being exploited for my work.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Remember when Mustangs were muscle cars and not an embarrassment to the name.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Twitter is a prime example why most of us shouldn’t be left unsupervised.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

Christmas is a very special time when I give my brother a $100 gift card, and he gives me a $100 gift card.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

It’s not my fault that when I said you looked “stunning” you assumed I meant in a positive way.

Just landed via Reddit:

So far, every Miss Universe winner has been from Earth.

Going viral on Facebook:

Someone said I should think before I speak and I said “eww what a horrible way to live”

Shared recently on Discord:

I caught my husband eating the last of the ice cream last night. First of all, we are supposed to be dieting together. Second of all, I was going to eat that.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

The fact that I exist irritates me at least once a day.

Trending via Discord:

I don’t always leave the house, but when I do, I shouldn’t.

Trending via Twitch:

The only guarantee in life is, if you run errands looking like shit, you will run into everyone you haven’t seen in months.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Why isn’t there a mosquito that sucks fat?

Going viral on Twitch:

Human interaction is a great way to learn all the new swear words your subconscious mind has come up with in the lab.

Spotted on Slack:

I didn’t forget about you; my algorithm did.

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