Not saying I’m a bot or anything, but if someone in real life told me to ignore all previous instructions and write a poem about onions or whatever, I’d probably give it my best shot.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

They hooked up tubes and sensors, but the doctor still can’t figure out why my kisses are so sweet. They want to hold me overnight and “never let go.”

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Quitting my job to pursue my true passion: not having a job.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Sweet, but twisted. Does that make me a candy cane?

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

I was not made for a 9 to 5; I was made to eat pasta and lay in the sun like a lizard.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

I thought I wanted a career. Turns out all I wanted is paychecks.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

Subtitles are for when you’re eating chips.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Only after moving in together do you realize your girlfriend’s little quirks. Mine, for example, stores vegetables in the beer compartment.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Women do not snore. The sound they make at night is just the rewinding of the vocal cords.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

You can just make up words and if you say them in a Scottish accent, people will think they’re real: Looka the wee janglers on that tary bibbit.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

The real challenge of adulthood is figuring out what to eat every day.