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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

I taped a picture of my paycheck on my front door to keep all the solicitors away.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

I feel sorry for Netflix era kids. They will never know the high stakes adrenaline of running away in an ad break, with the beckoning call of a sibling screaming “It’s ON!” to send you hurdling over furniture to get back in time.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

The porn bots liking my posts from years ago is just reminding me that I’ve always been hilarious.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

Men call us “gold diggers” when we expect them to pay for a meal. Honey, a gold digger goes after yachts, not a piece of chicken.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

I like to listen to the national anthems during the award ceremonies. I’m into country music.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

I’ll see you in court (at the marriage registry) (I love you)

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

I told ChatGPT about us.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

God’s plan for me does not involve LinkedIn at all.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Harry Potter is sort of crazy. I would have never fought a war for my high school.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Waiting patiently for the alien invasion.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,732

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WeChat:

A toddler can do more in one unsupervised minute than most people can do all day.

Trending via Twitch:

Bugs have so many legs to make up for their lack of personality.

Just shared via Snapchat:

It doesn’t matter how bizarre your situation is. Somebody on Reddit already been there, done that.

Going bananas on Discord:

Musk goes “exactly,” and it’s the stupidest tweet you’ve ever read in your entire life.

Live now on X:

Plants are like “I’ll have a light lunch.”

Just landed via Snapchat:

Just waiting for my laundry to be done so I can pop it in the dryer and forget about it again.

Just shared via Reddit:

If life could stop teaching me lessons, that would be great.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Does your life really flash before your eyes or is it just your brain closing all open tabs one last time.

Making waves on Facebook:

Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick one person you hate, and blame them for everything.

Just shared via Threads:

I bet the kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were surprised when found out their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

Nothing more rude than taking a photo of yourself and it looking like how you actually look, and not how you look inside your head.

3 weeks ago

Witty quote about self-image humorously highlighting the difference between perception and reality.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal struggle of selfies – reality vs. our inflated self-image in our minds! 🤳🤯 Who else relates to that disappointing moment when the camera shows the truth? 📸😂 Remember, it's all about finding that perfect angle and lighting, right? 😜 #SelfieStruggles"

expectations, head, humor, inside, looking, nothing, perception, photo, reality, rude, self-image, selfie, truth, yourself

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

69 shares on Instagram this month:

If you like pointing out beautiful scenery to three people who are on their phones, a family road trip is for you.

42 shares on Pinterest this month:

Imagine hating on me and I’m just sitting there in the corner, in the spotlight, losing my religion.

79 shares on Slack this month:

My plan is to die young as late as possible.

52 shares on Facebook this month:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, can you give it a really good massage?

41 shares on X this month:

By the time I meet the right person, I’ll probably be the wrong person.

83 shares on Discord this month:

You don’t need a therapist, you need an exorcist.

68 shares on TikTok this month:

“Why don’t you tell us anything anymore?” I’ve updated my privacy policy.

27 shares on TikTok this month:

Having a conversation with me is kind of like taking the scenic route.

64 shares on Reddit this month:

Babies sighing is so funny to me. My dear, the time to sigh has not come.

86 shares on TikTok this month:

Don’t bother telling me where you’re from, I have no geographical knowledge and no sense of direction.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s Friday. Rules don’t apply.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I think it broke my boyfriend’s heart when I said he couldn’t have Salma Hayek for Valentine’s Day.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Adulthood is saying “but after this week things will slow down a bit” over and over until you die.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t hide from my problems, I just ignore them until they lose interest.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

As you get older, nothing loses its sting more than an authority figure saying they are disappointed in you. Like, I don’t know what to tell you, dude, we can’t both live in the prison of your expectations.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Hanging out with your parents as an adult is so interesting, cause it’s like, “Oh, so that’s why I’m like this.”

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Cookbook, but each recipe includes a photo of all the dishes that need to be cleaned after making it.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear recipe websites. I don’t need your life story. Just give me the recipe.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m developing a new fragrance for introverts. It’s called: “Leave me the fuh cologne”.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Super excited about a brand new day of ignoring my problems.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,642

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Apologies for the delays. The suitcase smashing machine has broken down, so we’re having to smash suitcases by hand.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

How many of you also constantly take screenshots of something and then never look at them again?

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Unfortunately, a great many problems in life can be solved by just being hotter.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Don’t disrespect me and then be the moral compass on how I respond.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Mini skirts are so cute and fun, like, oops, my ass is out.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

I don’t know much, but I do know melancholia is a way cooler diagnosis than depression.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

I’m starting to think the voice in my head doesn’t like me very much.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

My future husband is probably enjoying a nice summer with his first wife… but the seeds of discontent are there.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

If you ever need me, call me any time, day or night, and I’ll return your call when I get around to it.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

My phone and it’s charger are in a situationship and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

The angel and devil on my shoulders are both completely fed up with me.

Making waves on Telegram:

Bartender asked me to give his place a one-star Google review to keep the vibe lowkey. Insane method.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I get writer’s block responding to people.

Spotted on Twitch:

What does my tattoo mean? It means I couldn’t be trusted with $200 when I was 18.

Just shared via Slack:

How long do you actually have to wear a muscle shirt until you get muscles?

Going viral on LinkedIn:

There are beautiful horny women (me) being forced into celibacy due to the utter lack of worthy men in existence. This is the world we are living in now.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

If someone leaves your life, it’s often because the actor playing them is getting cancelled in the real world.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Here I am, block me like a hurricane.

Spotted on WeChat:

Life is basically avoiding people who have seen you naked, whilst trying to find new people to see you naked.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

I think it broke my boyfriend’s heart when I said he couldn’t have Salma Hayek for Valentine’s Day.

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