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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

I like listening to true crime podcasts while I clean my bathroom because I can pretend I’m destroying evidence.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

If you ever see me running, it’s either away from my problems or towards an ice cream van.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

I used to think adulthood was one crisis after another. I was wrong. Multiple crises. Concurrently. All at once. All the time. Forever.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

The meeting of the Anonymous Pessimists was canceled. It wouldn’t have helped anyway.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Ever woken up, kissed the person sleeping next to you and felt glad to be alive? I just did, so I won’t be catching this train again.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Every time I watch “The Godfather”, I notice some new detail (they’re Italian???).

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

I like to do a task by worrying about it for three weeks and then finally dedicating 10 solid minutes to completing it.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Who called it a deep freeze instead of ice-o-lation?

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

I used to be a person who couldn’t easily fall asleep, then I got divorced and now I sleep like a baby. Probably unrelated.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

So many people say they love their Roomba, but you never see them set it free.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

789 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,951

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,951

26 minutes ago

3,418

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

‘I love reading!’ says the woman who loves owning books.

Shared recently on Slack:

My head is starting to get dented from hitting rock bottom so often.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Sure, breakups are hard, but have you ever had to wait for your phone to stop ringing so you can start using it again?

Trending via Facebook:

Nothing in a household is said more lovingly than, “Can you bring me some toilet paper?”

Seen just now on Threads:

As a child, all I wanted was as to be a time traveller, like my grandson and his grandson before him.

Live now on TikTok:

“Your account balance is low!” Brother, wait until you see my will to live.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

My burning question is who thought a two day weekend would suffice the human body.

Reported on WhatsApp:

I respect the moon because it controls three of our most precious entities: oceans, wolves & women.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I’ve folded seven page corners of the book I’m reading. That’s 49 in dog ears.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Let’s ride this misunderstanding into the sunset.

Nothing more rude than taking a photo of yourself and it looking like how you actually look, and not how you look inside your head.

6 months ago

Nothing more rude than taking a photo of yourself and it looking like how you actually look, and not how you look inside your head.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal struggle of selfies – reality vs. our inflated self-image in our minds! 🤳🤯 Who else relates to that disappointing moment when the camera shows the truth? 📸😂 Remember, it's all about finding that perfect angle and lighting, right? 😜 #SelfieStruggles"

expectations, head, humor, inside, looking, nothing, perception, photo, reality, rude, self-image, selfie, truth, yourself

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

789 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,951

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,951

26 minutes ago

3,446

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

You don’t know about stupidity until your female friends open up about their love life.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

You know you’re getting old when you and the grocery store have the same playlist.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

My birthday wish is for everyone to ignore my birthday.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Of course I do cardio. It’s called running from my problems.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

Egg nog was invented in Germany back in 1816 when Baron von Heldebrandt reportedly said “Hey guys, let’s get this custard drunk!”

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

When exactly does wisdom kick in? I feel like I’m just getting older.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

My opinion of the American education system is largely based on how many nuggets I get when I order a ten piece.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Drive as I say, not as I drive.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

I’m no doctor but I’m pretty sure this Santa-shaped chocolate oughta settle my stomach.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

My mind is like someone dumped the entire junk drawer on a trampoline.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

Kind of rude you didn’t wake me up before you went went.

Spotted on Slack:

Ground beef implies the existence of sky beef.

Making waves on Discord:

I didn’t really feel old until my doctor hit me with the “at your age…”

Seen just now on Snapchat:

If lying was a job some people would be billionaires.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Weird. I’m the only one naked at this gender reveal party.

Spotted on YouTube:

Girls know how to flirt until it’s with someone they actually like.

Making waves on Telegram:

All my life lessons were learned by watching people who took my advice.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Women only want one thing and it is to walk down a dimly-lit cobblestone street with the devil.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Biblical loophole: It’s not premarital sex if you never intend to get married.

Broadcasted on Discord:

My body is a machine that turns traumatic experiences into 10 likes on X.

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