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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Sometimes after sex, I wonder what it would be like to have sex as a couple.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

No one is more stressed than someone who has seen their potential and knows they aren’t living up to it.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Before you call me an idiot consider this: I know!

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Monsters can’t hide under my bed. That’s where my cats have their fight club.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

I love how one day my body just decided “You know what you really need is some ear hair.”

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

I’m so thankful I had a childhood before technology took over.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

Don’t let anyone treat you like pond water. You are Fiji water, okay?

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Fun prank: make people study for many years, and then don’t give them jobs.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

I don’t have mirrors in my house. I mean, who wants to see disappointment everyday?

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

When you turn 50, they change the lightbulb in your fridge to that memory eraser from Men in Black.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2321 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,483

Funny Quotes Topics

15,188

Funny Quotes Images

12,483

7 minutes ago

3,463

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I wish I could invoice people for wasting my time.

Just shared via Reddit:

Is there an app yet that converts voice messages into text messages?

Breaking via Reddit:

“I’m at a point in my life where I don’t go anywhere unless I absolutely have to.”

Just shared via Facebook:

What’s a beginner hobby for someone just getting into being happy?

Freshly posted on X:

As a parent of a teenage daughter, I would like to formally apologize to my parents for my tube-top and low-rise jeans era.

Spotted on WeChat:

My New Year’s resolution is to procrastinate. I’Il start tomorrow.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Dad Hack: Get your teen’s attention instantly by pre-heating the oven.

Going viral on Telegram:

When physical labor became optional, we invented the gym. We’ll need the same thing for the mind.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Me and the fellas making welcome gift baskets for the aliens.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Welcome to adulthood. The weekend is your only time to catch up on everything, but also your only time to do absolutely nothing.

Once again, I have fallen for life’s biggest scam: being two hours early for a flight only for security to take roughly seven minutes.

6 months ago

Once again, I have fallen for life’s biggest scam: being two hours early for a flight only for security to take roughly seven minutes.

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Commentary:
Ah, the classic plot twist of the airport hustle! Falling victim to the time warp vortex where two hours quickly morph into mere minutes at security is a right of passage for jet-setters everywhere! 🕒✈️😅 Next time, maybe consider adding a round of airport limbo to pass the time!

again, airport, arrival, being, early, early arrival, flight, frustration, hours, humor, i, management, minutes, once, only, scam, security, take, time, time management, travel

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2321 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,483

Funny Quotes Topics

15,188

Funny Quotes Images

12,483

7 minutes ago

3,439

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Do mens sneezes get louder and louder as they age until they explode?

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Old people understand Roman numerals. I for one.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Not texting back is only ok when I do it.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Think like a crazy person, and then you’ll understand.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Ribbed condoms don’t even taste like ribs.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

When I say “I’m open to feedback” I mean “I accept compliments.”

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Microdosing hell by checking the web every day.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

I’m going to write a book about all the things I should have done with my life. l’ll call it my oughtabiography.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

“I don’t care!”, he posted, again.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

I want to be so rich that when I see a spider in my house I won’t kill it, I’d buy another house.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Dear algorithm, please show this post only to people who have innate psionic abilities and would use their abilities for the betterment of humanity if given a chance.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I’m not tispy. I’m merry.

Going viral on YouTube:

If you think I’m funny, you should hear the voices in my head.

Live now on Instagram:

I don’t have bad handwriting, I’m just using my own font.

Broadcasted on Slack:

I mostly stopped responding to emails three years ago, and aside from various consequences, it’s been fine.

Just shared via YouTube:

When I am calculating any risk, I think to myself: is this first cat life behavior? Or ninth cat life behavior?

Broadcasted on TikTok:

That’s not fat. It’s bonus content.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean that it ain’t gonna be a hell of a lot of fun.

Spotted on X:

Imagine the carnage at an IKEA team building event.

Just landed via Pinterest:

She calls me Anthony Bourdain because I eat her parts unknown, no reservations.

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